To not let other people feed my FF baby?

I don’t think it’s selfish at all.

The really harsh comments are unnecessary. It's not like you've banned them from seeing the baby.

I think you are unreasonable because it is a bit PFB and a bit selfish but we do odd things when our babies are tiny. I very much doubt anyone hasn't.

I breastfed by babies and no one- not even my husband has ever fed them. It was one of the lovely parts of having a baby for me. Why shouldn’t OP be afforded the same experience just because she’s bottle feeding?

YABU but why post on here OP? You don't think there is any chance you are being unreasonable so seems pointless.

My children are all old enough to have children of their own and it was what most people I knew did then. The hand the baby round for feeding (or changing) isn’t something I have ever witnessed.

Your baby and your decision.

But 9 weeks post C-section means that you are more than capable of sorting your bins out.

I can't remember if I've posted already. It's your baby, you get to decide. Yes it would be lovely for the grandparents to feed the baby - but that absolutely does not entitle them to it. It's equally lovely for your baby to have that strong association of food and comfort with you and DP alone.

A baby is such a wonderful addition to the family, everyone basks in the love generated by this wonderful new being and wants to be involved.

Share the damn baby.

It's perfectly possible to enjoy your baby but also not want to spend every minute with them.

Still ploughing through this thread but I can’t help noticing that all the lovely, supportive mummies are out in force - taking bitchiness to a whole new level. How delightful.

The baby’s mother decides. End of.

I felt similar op. I couldn't feed my first dc (found out later it was due to a medical issue of his) and was so sad about it. I asked my dh if it could just be us two that gave the bottles for the first month at least and he understood.

My mum and dad understood but my inlaws really struggled with it. It wasn't to spite anyone though, just that I wanted to recreate the experience I felt had been denied to me. Think we only stuck to it for the first 6 weeks.

Second refused bottles so had me trapped for over a year 😂Poor mil! I always baffled her.

Maybe your parents feel more comfortable with you so just get on and do while mIL is worried doing housework would be overstepping or taken as criticism that your not keeping the house well enough?
Do you think you're feeling bad about not being able to do it so it's making your feelings more intense?

The above point is very valid. There have been posts on here where people are insulted their MIL tidied up while visiting, they really can’t win in some cases.

Your baby your choice, just say no and explain that you don’t want to share feeding. I shared with everyone (my Mum had my daughter overnight regularly from 2 weeks) but I’m not a very maternal person, I don’t believe it’s affects bonding though and I’m very close to my adult children.

Oh my god, the absolute rudeness of some people on here. No YANBU, absolutely not. It is your baby and you carried it for 9 months. You do what makes you feel comfortable and happy, as you said if you were able to breastfeed no one else could could do that. Hope you’re doing well, motherhood is tough!!

in my world @Avondale89 some parents actually enjoy their babies and don’t want to be apart from them. My DD is 11 months now and hasn’t been away from myself or DH. Not seen the need personally.

@Commentsonpic posters here are so OTT. It’s your baby. If you don’t want MIL feeding baby it’s your choice. Myself and DH have done all feeds for our 11 month old (breast and formula). She’s now 11 months and going to be minded by her granny from 14 months so her granny has done a few feeds recently. I don’t see the need for anyone else to have done any. I’d wonder why some posters have children if meeting their basic need for food is so tedious for them they’d apparently hand the baby to anyone!

@WheelsUp 9 weeks and in laws are on their second visit. It’s different as we live a 5 hour drive so they stay with us, it’s very intense and creates more work. My parents also stay but are self aware and really want to make my life easier.

DH can of course but even then I don’t like it. Our baby struggles to latch and it’s frustrating watching people clumsily shove the bottle in their mouth.

Were you perfect on your first few tries? How's he going to learn to do it right without practice? There are going to be many things he won't do your way in this child's life but it is his baby too if you want him to feel involved and to be helpful you have to try and relax about it if you're taken ill he will need to get on and do it. In years to come you maybe on here moaning about him not doing his share.

I think it's another American trend

Maybe that's the time to say I really would like to eat a hot meal just once this week...here you go daddy/mil etc. You will benefit from a hot meal and they get a turn....you might not feel so bad about it once you do it.

YANBU.

I found feeding such a lovely, bonding experience. I didn’t want to share it really either. As I got older i found the need to please others over what I wanted, less difficult to say no to. You want to feed baby and I bet baby wants you (or DH) to feed them too, nobody else at 9wks old. Baby is still very young and finds comfort in being in mum or dads arms.

I don’t have gc yet but have had DN&Ns and when I have looked after them it’s the parents rules not mine. And I have stayed with my sibling when they had just given birth and I took bins out, made meals, did housework etc all so she could just concentrate on baby. I never once thought I needed to feed baby, I was just so happy she let me support her and that’s what I think it’s all about; supporting new parents.

Nobody else is entitled to anything. They had their babies.

Maybe your parents feel more comfortable with you so just get on and do while mIL is worried doing housework would be overstepping or taken as criticism that your not keeping the house well enough?
Do you think you're feeling bad about not being able to do it so it's making your feelings more intense?

I was told not to let anyone else bottle feed my baby, and for the first eight weeks or so I didn't. It's still bonding time, even if it's not breast.

You are not being unreasonable. You may not be breastfeeding but it is still your time to bond with your baby. You may let your husband do it with you, but that’s your choice. Me and my husband didn’t let anyone else do it until our baby was around 10 weeks old and then it was only with my mum as she is the next care giver. It might upset your MIL but she should respect your decision and quite rightly there are many things she can do to help you and the baby besides this. Like cleaning the bottles for one!! Christ if you were breastfeeding she wouldn’t be able to do anything.

I have breastfed all my babies but can totally empathise. Feeding is a great chance to comfort and connect with your baby so can't MIL do something else?!

All 3 of our DC have been FF. I started off wanting to do all of it with DH. By the time DS1 was about 4 months, I was happy for MIL or FIL to help out. By the time DD and DS2 came along I was happy for almost anyone to have a turn.

Why do people say stuff like this? It's not true for everyone.
Some parents don't want to 'share' their newborn, I'm in that category, instinct said keep them near.
If anyone is later not interested in my DC because they didn't feed them or get to take them out without me or their dad I really don't care. I'm not looking for unpaid childcare, there is no bargaining chip.