To not let other people feed my FF baby?

YANBU at all

Here we go again ... another 'rule' apparently designed to make life as isolated and impossible for new mothers. and another reason for new mothers to brush away the very people who are probably best placed to help them.
I have said before,but I am convinced that there is a mental health crisis around the corner brought on by these impossible guidelines that seem to be designed to give parents no time to themselves whatsoever and no down time at all as they are stapled to their baby at all times.
And forums such as this feed into the myth that motherhood is all about 'enjoying your baby', milky cuddles, sleepy snuggles and velcro babies.
Thank goodness I am too old for this,because it would drive me completely insane.
Op, you are being ridiculous and your partner needs to tell you so. You are using your baby as a pawn to show your ILs who is boss.

YANBU imo. I breastfed DD1 but DD2 is due soon and will be bottle fed and nobody apart from me and DP will be feeding for her whilst she's so small

Do what you like. Personally I think feeding a baby is helpful

Meant me & DH!

YABU if the baby is still a newborn. I agree with other PP that it’s good for the parents to do most of the feeds in the early days for bonding. If she really wants to can you use it to your advantage such as when you want to eat a meal in peace but baby has decided they are hungry. Then you’re not just sitting there watching her do the feed when you could be.

It's most definitely not a "primal" role but more of a contemporary-anxiety one.

In a primal society (and some of those still exist) the babies would be fed by healthy women (not always the new mum) and by women with milk (not always the new mum).
Not liking MIL could well equal the baby's death then.

But yeah, we do have options these days. Unfortunately, some people can't pick the right one for toffee.

DH allowed GPs to feed ours but they did not comment on how we were feeding. If anyone had made me feel bad for not breastfeeding they would never have fed my babies.

I have never understood what people’s obsession is with wanting to “feed the baby”.

What is this desperate urge that others have to give a baby a bottle actually all about? It’s really odd.

Do the same people get as excited when the child is 8 months old and can have a bowl of porridge for example….are they just as desperate to be able to “feed the baby” in those instances too?

It’s strange.

It is generally advised that for the first few weeks only mum and dad bottle feed the baby as part of the bonding / connection process.

Feeding your baby is an important bonding moment and feels very intimate. This is why lots of people enjoy it.
It’s completely up to you who gets to feed YOUR baby and you shouldn’t feel pressured to share this if you don’t want to.

It's actually best for babies to be fed only by primary caregivers while very young.

I assume you let MIL have snuggles at other times? In which case no YANBU.

By the time I had my second I would have let anyone hold her, anything for 30 seconds to myself (dd1 was put on the autism diagnosis pathway when I was 9 months pregnant)

Your baby, your rules.

I was the same OP! BF didn’t work out for the first time around, but I gave every bottle for the first six weeks because that’s what I would have done if I was BF. It was a special time to bond and make that connection. After 6 weeks others started to do the odd bottle, but still not loads! You do what you’re comfortable with, it’s your baby

Despite many years of trying, my dp and I never managed to have children. Bottle feeding my sisters 2 when they were babies (I only did it a handful of times, we didn’t live nearby) are very special memories for me. Those big blue eyes staring up at me so intently as they had their feed. I would feel so sad if I thought she might have been feeling this way about it (I know she wasn’t though, she was happy for anyone to pitch in with any job when she had her hands full).

Do you think maybe this is your feelings of sadness about not being able to breastfeed talking?

Yeah, this is my experience. Bf the first, mix fed the second and FF the third and all of them seem to have the same level of attachment to me, their father and grandparents.

Of course it's up to you OP but go easy on yourself (and others) if you are in the thick of post birth hormones and sleep deprivation. Or is there a big backstory with MIL?

I think it is recommended nowadays that Mum and Dad only and no one else do bottle feeds to strengthen bonding in the early days. YANBU OP.

Agreed.

BF didn’t work for DD1 and I (It did for DD2 btw). Apart from one occasion only DH and I gave DD1 one a bottle. It’s important part if bonding.

YABU
Feeding is bonding and if you can share with close family that will have a relationship with the baby then I think you should. I do agree that if they want to feed the baby, then that’s more of a reward than a help and they should also be doing helpful things.

Let me guess, its only MIL not allowed to feed the baby!

Your mum can play and bond with the baby in loads of ways but the only possible job for MIL is to take out the rubbish.

Your logic seems to be ‘Do grubby household chores while I do something I enjoy, even though you would also enjoy it’?