To not let other people feed my FF baby?

I’m glad. Bet your in laws love you.

Your baby, your decision

Only I fed my babies until they were about 6 months. I think that’s normal and it’s weird to hand them around though.

Then at those points, offer someone else the baby to feed and you eat your food hot.
If they decline then they can't say you didn't offer

Another thing I appear to have got wrong then. DH gave both DC their first ever feeds and then shared with me. Other family members GP and aunts all had a turn if they were around at the appropriate time, especially if it was meal time. But then I went back to work after 8 weeks, there was never a bond issue.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You’ve really brightened up my day!

If you don't want her to give your baby a bottle then that's that. She fed her own baby. It might impact your relationship with her though.

Why would they if they come round and are expected to take the bins out? Other people don’t automatically love your kids you know especially if they’re treated like the refuse collectors every time they come round. Like I said, let them build a relationship, whether through this or something else lovely. And take your own bin out.

I breastfed both of mine and was desperate for others to do the feeding but they couldn't! You always want what you don't have 😂

After the first you massively drop boundaries, don't you

I am referring to the many posts where people say they were told not to let others feed baby because it might harm bonding

@Avondale89

So mum and dad don’t go out together without the baby for 6 months? Really? In what world? And for what possible reason?

In my world. Expand your horizons a little. For an entire 6 months I was his only source of nourishment and he went everywhere with me (bar if he had just fed and i could leave him with family until next feed). I'm not saying that to boast and I'm not saying it was easy but accept that people different to you exist.

Are you actually saying that the grandparents won’t love the baby or give a shit about it unless they’re allowed to give it a bottle when it’s a newborn?

😂😂😂😂😂

God, by my 3rd, my eldest was giving the baby a bottle in their car seat on the school run 🤣 it is very precious, you still do the majority of the feeds. I completely agree with the extra pressure on mums these days and how God forbid they do anything that makes their life easier. We're still expected to go back to work after mat leave though!

i mean this in a nice way but presumably you WANT people to love your kids, OP? If so, then you have to let them build a relationship with them. Otherwise you might get to a point where really, no one gives a shit about them. So I guess it’s your choice. Feeding a cute baby is one way your in-laws can build a relationship. If you don’t offer this, offer something else equally ‘fun’ and relationship building.

oh, and take your own fucking bins out ffs. That’s just fucking lazy of you and your husband.

I totally get this and think you're perfectly reasonable. As you say if you breastfed it would be you.

Modern society pushes this idea that caring for your baby is somehow awful and you should appreciate things that apparently make your life easier.

I combi fed at the beginning due to necessity. I struggled with giving my DD formula and breastfeeding grief. I hated other people giving her formula top ups. It had to be me. Would it have made my life easier if others did it? Possibly with regards time to myself. But mental health wise i needed to come to terms with not being able to exclusively breastfeed and needed to be the sole person to provide my daughters milk, however that may be.

The notion that dads and relatives need to feed a baby to bond with it is utter rubbish.

Your baby, your choice.

If you don't let her feed the baby she's highly unlikely to expect you to allow her to change their nappy.

How old is baby?

One of the best things about baby seeing grandparents is them giving you a break, even when you're in the same room

I agree @MyTruthIsOut

I exclusively breastfed and baby's Dad went on and on and on about could his Mum give baby a bottle (not him funnily enough hahahaha!!!!) He was going on under the guise it would make life easier for me that I could leave the baby at his mums when in reality I knew that bottle feeding would leave me making up bottles all night when I really didn't want to and I hate doing dishes so the idea of making bottles up sounded a nightmare, for me breastfeeding was just easier.
If any Mum wants to limit who gives their baby a bottle then respect that instead of dragging them down. There's a million other ways for extended family to bond with baby.

You sound like you just don’t like your MIL tbh, which is fair enough, but she is your child’s Granny and they might like her.

It’s cruel to not let someone feed their grandchild for no real reason when they would clearly love to and it would do no harm whatsoever.

Someone in my family wouldn’t let anyone else feed their bottle fed baby because she was upset that she couldn’t breastfeed, nothing to do with disliking anyone. We all thought it was a bit ridiculous and precious, and even if she didn’t want everyone to do it, she could have allowed particularly special people like grandparents.

Well... biologically speaking that's completely normal. We are a "carry species" - our babies are meant to go everywhere with us at first! I get that this doesn't translate well into modern society but it is biological fact even if we find it inconvenient.

It’s really no big deal. YABVU.

I think the reference to a rule was “advice” that someone mentioned that only parents feed baby initially.

DD was combi fed and noone other than me or DH fed DD her bottles with the exception of maybe twice when she was 4 months+ and her grandparents had her while I was at appointments etc.
We wanted to do this because it encourages bonding with the primary caregivers and it was our preference.
It made us happy and did her no harm. Family still got lots of cuddles and time with her

I mean, you're not unreasonable to feel how you feel. However, my DC3 won't take a bottle and I'd give anything for someone else to be able to feed him and give me a break, so I can't relate!