To not let other people feed my FF baby?

Sorry you’re dealing with this. My DS is one year and was only given milk in a bottle by his grandmother for the first time last week. You do whatever you want and whatever feels right for you.

My husband and I always did it and I hated when someone was round (like his parents) if I had to feed him because I knew they’d try to snatch the bottle off me but I wanted it to be us that did it. I didn’t let anyone else do it for quite a while then we were at my mum’s house one night and her overly forward friend was there. I made his bottle and brought it over to give him and she snatched it off me and was basically force feeding him it, it was all running down his face at one point and it was so painful to watch 😩 I eventually managed to get him back but this time I’m going to try a mix of formula and expressed milk but always from a bottle and I don’t plan to let anyone else apart from us do it again

She literally just explained- her husband is clumsy. When you're in that intense new baby phase, you've got millions of years of evolution screaming at you to do everything in your power to keep that baby safe and comfortable.

Your husband won't get any better at feeding the baby if you never let him have opportunity to, I find this attitude really weird.

Why don't you like it when DH does it?

I completely agree, so glad my lovely sister in law let me feed all her babies, really special.

MIL's aren't allowed to do that either. Have you not seen all the threads where people complain that cleaning your kitchen or doing the laundry is 'personal' and crossing a boundary??

I mean, that isn’t what I said but perhaps reading comprehension isn’t your thing.

This has rather gone off the point, but I suspect the OP was just looking for validation anyway. I think it’s fine to hate the in-laws (they might be Satan himself, who knows). If you hate them, stand by that and don’t let them near your kid anyway. If they aren’t bad people and you want the kid to have a relationship with them you might need to compromise bc that’s life. Newborns are cute but let’s face it if you want to palm them off on someone when they’re snotty and disgusting 2 year olds you might need to lay the ground work and compromise now. Choose wisely.

Unless by then they'll be telling mothers only they can cuddle babies for the first few weeks to promote bonding.

How old is your baby OP? I'm assuming that daddy can feed baby too.

it's not quite that straightforward though is it? Or it shouldn't be. Does baby's dad get a say or does his role not kick in until 'your baby' is a toddler and then you can moan he's not helping you enough?

I’m with @MightyEagle

I hope when my children have their kids I’ll be like my mum. I’m going to swoop in and clean their house and wash their sheets and batch cook until their freezers groan under the weight of lasagne and pie and casserole. I’m going to cuddle the baby so they can eat in peace. I assume they’ll let me cuddle the baby at some point. 😀

What does your husband think about it? As it’s his decision too.

Do you let your mum feed the baby?

I've never known anyone refuse to let other people feed the baby , saying that I've never known anyone refuse to have family round for the first few weeks after birth either. Only ever see it on mn

It's literally impossible to guess which way a MN thread might go. I can't understand how people have been so harsh to you!

Of course you don't have to pass your baby round for everyone else to "have a go". You are absolutely allowed to tell MIL that you want to do the bottles yourself. And I completely understand what you mean about people pretending to "help" but only offering to do the nice jobs that you'd rather do yourself, and never offering to do the boring jobs that actually need doing.

It would've been quicker to read it again than to type that ^^

The baby is formula fed.

I think OP is getting a bit of a hard time in these replies. It's a very legitimate preference, and MIL has had her own babies to feed or not in line with her own preferences.

I bf, but if I'd ff I would have felt the same as OP. And in spite of never getting to give a bottle, extended family and close friends have close relationships with my children.

when my parents come and stay, they are extremely helpful around the house and always looking for ways to help

And yet you still wouldn't let them feed their grandchild if they asked.

It's weird the things people become so controlling about.

I feel the same way, it’s a lovely part of having a baby and it doesn’t last forever so it’s lovely that you value that peaceful bonding of bottle feeding baby. Don’t feel shy to tell people you want to be the one who feeds your baby, that’s perfectly natural and a good sign!

I get on really well with them actually.

Sadly, they don’t give a shit about my children as I breast fed them.

I genuinely feel really bad for all the breast fed babies who have grandparents who don’t love them because of it.

I am confused on reading the replies and worry i have misread the OP- however in short your baby is breastfed and you do not anyone Formula feeding. Totally acceptable and all my kids were breastfed. Not sure why anyone thinks your OTT

I think people on here are being a bit OTT in their responses.

I have a fantastic relationship with my in laws but only let myself or my husband bottle fed her. Like you said, I loved doing it and I never needed anyone else to do it. They got plenty of snuggles and time together but when it came to feeding I always did it.

Funnily 3 years down the line no one seems to have any lasting trauma from the fact they weren't allow to give her a bottle. Go easy on yourself and enjoy the feeds while they last

I was really uncomfortable with this as well for the first few months so I understand OP. With hindsight, for me it was really all about how I felt about the challenges I had breastfeeding and once I'd addressed that I found it much easier.

Maybe you'll feel differently at some point and be happy to let MIL do the odd bottle, but until then I'd just be honest with her. Say you'd rather feed her yourself but would she like to cuddle her/play with her/take her for a walk or whatever, offer her another opportunity to care for her and bond.