To not let other people feed my FF baby?

I think you need some time alone with just DH and your baby. You don’t need constant visitors and with Zoom, FaceTime etc.. it’s not like they won’t see the baby.
Agree with your DH no visitors for a month. Plenty of time for gp when the baby is teething or hits the terrible twos.

Yeah super weird to keenly hand the baby over to their father, WTF

The thing is the baby is not a toy, you don't need to share.

I breastfed, at the start I expressed a few bottles but then decided I didn't want others to do feeds so I didn't bother.
If I'd formula fed and wanted to do the feeds myself I don't see the issue, except with the baby's dad.

Looking forward to the follow up in 11 years time when OP is run ragged with two kids and complaining her MIL doesn’t do enough childcare.

My DD breast fed my dgc but even if she bottle fed if she wanted to feed her baby I would not complain. I used to go and make a lasagne for dinner and play with or take out older dgc and walk their dog at the same time.

If you don't want to, don't. She's had her kids!

She can give cuddles and play and whatever else, but feeding is a special bonding time and you don't have to share it with anyone other than the other parent involved.

That's your assumption. Op said her MIL judged because she couldn't BF.

Also, she stayed overnight soon after Op's C section but never offered any help.

She should 'let' her DH feed sometimes? Why is it OP's choice when baby is DH's too?

If DH wants to feed more, a compromise should be reached.

Blimey.
My MIL did absolutely nothing, didn’t even buy a congrats card or a single present, Christmas, Birthdays for any of our 3 childrenHer only grandchildren. She wouldn’t even offer them a drink or a biscuit.

Thank goodness for my mum who despite being unwell would move mountains to do whatever she could for us and her grandchildren.

Be thankful for what you have
They won’t be around for ever.

You wouldn't stick baby on grandmas tits if you were breastfeeding!

How crude. As you know, that's not even possible , so just crude for crude's sake.

OP can obviously do as she and her DH please, people are just suggesting maybe she might enjoy the help if she relaxes a bit. I BF/ combi-fed all 3 of mine. DS1 was so bloody hungry all the time all I did was sit on my backside and feed. When my best friend came over and said 'Right, what can I do? Washing? Ironing/ prep food?' I couldn't wait to give her the baby and do something different, so I ironed and prepped food. All folk are saying is don't burn your bridges- if OP doesn't want MIL feeding ask clearly abd politely for something else.

If this is what feels right for you go with it. Don't go against your instincts. It isn't weird or OTT in my opinion, I actually find it weird when people are too keen to hand over their baby.

You did post this in AIBU! Yes, I think you are. Feeding a baby is a lovely thing to do. I'd let her. Take the opportunity to have a bath or go for a walk or mix a jug of cocktails or something.

It's not the same though is it.

And Im not looking to get drawn into hypothetical arguments.

I always found feeding my baby was a bonding experience. You should let your DH feed sometimes too but you don't have to let mil if you don't want too.

This comments is unnecessary.

In Op's case, MIL was passing comments on her inability to BF, and despite her C section, they never offered any support.

@JustBeKindItsEasy Agree.
My twins were in the NICU and fed by NICU nurses and when we went to TCU a midwife would always come round at feeding time and feed one of the twins whilst I was feeding the other as they had latching issues. Didn't affect their bonding!

@NeverWasAMum your sister probably loved watching you feed her babies.
Watching my twin sister feed my daughter was the best.
I can still relate to the original poster. I think it’s different if one person asks to feed the baby and looks genuinely happy
compared to when someone insists , repeatedly insists ‘I will help you, no no, I will feed them’ and ignore you saying no thank you.

Your baby your choice.

@Fandabedodgy

Ah you said unfair not selfish. I apologise 😂.
Tried expressing, it didn't work for me. So should I have let mil use formula to be "fair"?

Think your midwife was out of order.
What about all those babies stuck in Special Care.
I had twins. One with me the other in special care and whilst they fed him my breast milk I didn’t do it myself.

Never had any bonding issues.

It’s a very sad piece of advice for parents who don’t have this luxury and…..well…..nonsense

It’s the usual theme of MIL being damned if she does help, damned if she doesn’t. Of course mum’s parents are more helpful, most mothers are quite comfortable pottering around daughter’s house doing bits and pieces after a new baby. If MIL does it, she’s interfering. I think my dil and have a great relationship, but I always ask before I pitch in. It’s her space.

I do find the feeding thing weird and a bit unkind though. Mine were fed by any visitor who expressed a wish to do so. My children didn’t seem to have any bonding issues.

@Justalittlebitduckling

It's not the same.

Your words not mine. Sounds like you are projecting and like you are the one who in fact needs to 'get a grip'.

I breastfed both of my kids. But let the GPs and DH have a turn with ebm sometimes.

I don't think it's 'mean' grandparents don't have automatic rights to a grandchild.

Has your baby got tongue tie? If they haven't you might want to change bottle/teats at 9 weeks they should've grasped their latch if they're bottle fed.

You free her, you birthed her. You have every right to not want anyone else to feed her if that's what you wish!