To not let other people feed my FF baby?

I don't think they state the opposite, exactly.

How aggressive people are about this!

A mother feeling protective and wanting to feed her own baby is perfectly fine. No need to throw around accusations and insults.

Bit why is it selfish? The grandma isn’t owed a bottle feed? the op stated she wanted the same bond as a breastfeeding mum. The grandma can help in other ways if she wants. Also 9 weeks is still very young.

I totally understand this, I don’t think you’re being in any way unreasonable and am very surprised so many do.

I BF both of mine, and to me it brought a lot of comfort and stability, really steadied any anxiety, and I felt strengthened my bonds with my babies, to be the one who got that quiet time for feeding. If I had been FF I still would have wanted to have that role.

Your baby is just a newborn. It’s totally up to you what you feel ready for when. I imagine it will also be lovely to start allowing your wider family to join you and your DH in doing this, and seeing a new dimension to family life and your baby’s already growing relationships with grandparents etc, when you feel ready to, but in my opinion you shouldn’t feel rushed.

The majority of people on this thread know what it's like having a newborn. If she doesn't want Grandparents feeding baby, that's her (and DH's) choice but it isn't just her baby and she doesn't get to dictate or ''let'' DH feed baby on her terms only.

No reason why you should let others do it if you don't want to. You may not be BF but you know how to get your baby to feed well, when she's drinking too fast, when she needs to be woken up a bit, when she needs a break. I found other people feeding my babies made a colicky evening more likely.

Very OTT. You can't really refuse to let a grandmother feed her grandchild because she doesn't take out your rubbish for you! Well you can but it makes you a bit of an arsehole

How is letting grandma give the occasional bottle going to cause any harm? It's pure selfishness.

I was told this at the hospital but only for the first 1-2 weeks. Not 9+ weeks.

This is ridiculous and these comments are really pissing me off. You are so vulnerable when you’ve gone through labour and have a newborn. Let her feed her own baby! I exclusively breastfed and my ds is still very close to his dad and gps. Yes he does have a particularly special bond with me, his mum. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

Yessssss but it’s not just your DC, it’s also your DHs, why state my child? It’s our child.

Why ask AIBU, if you don’t want to know?

I don’t think BATSHIT is a strong enough word!!! 😂

As another poster said, have you checked if baby has a tongue tie? It may be hindering her latch with the teat?

As a tiny baby. You’re actually not supposed to pass a newborn around to everyone to feed.

I bottle fed all my babies. I did 99% of it, and loved it, but was also happy to give other people a turn if they were there and asked. It did no harm to the babies, and it made the person doing the feeding feel all warm and fuzzy. I don't see a problem with that.

Of course I was jesting 😂

It was in response to another poster who basically said that if the grandparent can’t give a bottle to the baby how can OP ever expect them to love the baby or give a shit about it.

Both my children were also breastfed and have wonderful relationships with all their grandparents, despite them never having fed my babies a bottle. It’s madness I know 😂

This is actually why I stuck with breastfeeding (I was lucky that it worked for me but I’d never been sure I would do it). It was the one thing only I could do and I really wanted to make sure I had that bond. You are the mum. No one can bully you into giving up your newborn.

They can help later with feeding.

You don't want anyone else to give your baby a bottle??????

This. You’re doing nothing wrong op!!! Stop letting others make you feel guilty. Like you said, if she wanted to be helpful she can do other things. newborn bonding is natural and important for you.

And there are other books on attachment parenting that state the opposite

Something tells me you’re one of those DILs!

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I can understand your pov.

Babies get treated like dolls to pass around and everyone to take a turn. But only the nice bits like sleepy cuddles or feeding a bottle. Although there's no real harm it isn't really if any benefit to the baby.

Often the mum is exhausted and just needs time and peace and quiet to bond with the baby.

It's in no way the same as a 5 year old who can have a relationship with Gran and grandad in their own right.

The other side of it is plenty of grandparents are there for the newborn cuddles, the selfies holding the baby, having a go at a feed but as soon as the kid wants granny to actually play with them granny is nowhere to be seen.

YANBU OP. No one other than me ever fed my babies and I didn't want anyone else to. I've no idea why people are so het up about this, especially as your baby is struggling with feeding. No one has the right to feed someone else's baby. They can be helpful in other ways (or not) but you do what feels right for you and your baby. They will get over it.