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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

317 replies

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 13:59

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

OP posts:
HauntedPencil · 15/05/2023 18:36

Having "barely heard" of a university isn't a great indication of your general knowledge tbh I wouldn't be boasting of that.

MidlifeWhatNow · 15/05/2023 18:24

One might even suggest that preferring Aber over the bigger 'names' demonstrates a level of discernment, maturity and ability to see the bigger picture in your ds that you should be proud of, OP 😉

Phphion · 15/05/2023 18:19

Aber is very well respected for IR.

It tends to have lower entry requirements in part because it is such a marmite place to live. It is very small and remote - people either love that or they hate it and amongst 18 year olds the proportion who anticipate that they would hate it and instead want the bright lights of city living will be quite high. The lower entry requirements in part reflect the fact that there are fewer people who apply there, so entry requirements have to be dropped to a level that will enable them to fill their course.

At a guess, I would say there will be people there with much higher grades than the standard entry requirements because they really loved the idea of living somewhere like Aber.

Like the other non-RG pre-92s, it has also suffered from the increased emphasis on attending a Russell Group university.

JudyGemstone · 15/05/2023 18:17

My son has made a similar sort of university choice, I don’t love it if I’m honest but it is what it is and I’m going with it. I suspect he knows what I think he should do but it’s his life at the end of the day.

MidlifeWhatNow · 15/05/2023 18:16

Cola2534 · 15/05/2023 18:05

Why is the acceptance criteria so low though? Genuinely curious

.... because not many 18 year olds ard brave enough to go and live in a tiny Welsh town with one nightclub, 2 hours drive from any city (Swansea being the nearest, but you need a car) and 3 hours by train from a major one (Birmingham). It really is the middle of nowhere and so it's a hard sell to get the average teenager even to come and look at the place.

But for those "in the know", it's a FABULOUS place to spend three years, there is so much culture and community if you look for it and are willing to get involved. The local area is littered with people who came for uni and now can't bear to leave. To be honest, I'd go back in a heartbeat. It really is something special.

Agree.

I went to Aber in the 90s, and loved it. Most of my contemporaries at the time (and my parents) couldn't understand why I wanted to go there, but I'd fallen in love with it.

Took DH on his first visit a couple of weeks ago. His verdict - my god, if I'd come to university here I would never have left. By the end of our visit he was looking up PG courses for himself 😁

But it is very remote, and small, and not 'cool' and I think all that probably factors in to the acceptance criteria somewhat. Universities need bums on seats to survive, after all. Doesn't mean the teaching or the level of academic enquiry is correspondingly low once you get here.

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 15/05/2023 18:07

Depends on the uni and the course!

For example with business, yes sure the big top ones offer the course at high grades, but other universities such as Aston (Birmingham) and Northumbria (Newcastle) have exceptionally well regarded business schools which you can get into on much lower grades.

There's a few cases (usually medicine/STEM) where going to a top top uni does benefit you, but for many other subjects it doesn't matter. If it's an MFL course then experience is probably going to be king. Which courses he has applied to offer a year studying in france for example or work placements in a french speaking country? These will be what gets him a job, not having durham, Bristol or leeds on his certificate.

Showdogworkingdog · 15/05/2023 18:06

I feel for you. Of course it’s his decision and he needs to like it but as the parent of a recent graduate I’d recommend he focus on the opportunities beyond Uni and the support the Uni gives you with that. My DS’s Russell Group university course had no links with industry/business and gave him no exposure whatsoever to prep for undergrad interview or selection centres, it was all academic. With those grades your DS can afford to be choosy and employers are definitely choosy about the unis they work with. Good luck.

Cola2534 · 15/05/2023 18:05

Why is the acceptance criteria so low though? Genuinely curious

.... because not many 18 year olds ard brave enough to go and live in a tiny Welsh town with one nightclub, 2 hours drive from any city (Swansea being the nearest, but you need a car) and 3 hours by train from a major one (Birmingham). It really is the middle of nowhere and so it's a hard sell to get the average teenager even to come and look at the place.

But for those "in the know", it's a FABULOUS place to spend three years, there is so much culture and community if you look for it and are willing to get involved. The local area is littered with people who came for uni and now can't bear to leave. To be honest, I'd go back in a heartbeat. It really is something special.

Anonymouseposter · 15/05/2023 18:05

Does he enjoy outdoor pursuits and the countryside more than clubbing and a busy city scene? I went to Manchester. I got a good degree but I didn't enjoy my time there. It was very large and, although I made a couple of good friends on my course I didn't go out much in the evenings.
If the course has a reasonable reputation he is better going where he is likely to be happier and take advantage of wider opportunities.

Excitingnewusername · 15/05/2023 18:01

AllegraWalterJones · 15/05/2023 17:46

I don't disagree. I think the university should suit the student.
In certain subjects however lower entry requirements do indicate the quality of intellectual curiosity and rigour.
Not for a subject like international relations. But for accounting/finance, computer science it very much is a factor.

'A subject like IR' is a subject that requires critical engagement with qualitive and quantative research, as well as engagement with theoretical/philosophical materials.

That doesn't change based on A level entry requirements. Teaching quality and time staff have to spend working with their students can vary a lot however.

I spend a large proportion of my time unteaching A level learning which has focused on formulaic writing, memorisation of the right facts and giving the right answer. I teach 'A students' who never move beyond that and struggle at UG, and students who come in with lower grades but really blossom when challenged and working more independtly.

The biggest predictor of success is a student who is interested in their subject and committed to their course. Add in being happy where you are and you've got a great combination.

TolkiensFallow · 15/05/2023 17:49

I had offers from RG’s for my course but I preferred the course content at a university college. I chose that and I definitely would have dropped out if I’d gone to the universities that were technically best. Check his reasoning.

AllegraWalterJones · 15/05/2023 17:46

Excitingnewusername · 15/05/2023 17:39

I don't work there, so no idea! 😉

I've worked at a top 10 for 15 years, went to an incredibly competetive RG, and I'd be very happy for my child to select on things other than entrance grades/acceptance rates etc. Unis invest a lot of time and effort into playing the metrics rather than fulfilling the thing the metric is supposed to measure. What I'd care about as a parent/student is staff:student ratios, and teaching quality plus a place that feels like home.

Ive spent too many years talking to students who are miserable but just try and wade through 3 years.

Having said which Aber does in fact have a very good reputation internationally in the relevant subject, so it seems an ideal choice all round!

I don't disagree. I think the university should suit the student.
In certain subjects however lower entry requirements do indicate the quality of intellectual curiosity and rigour.
Not for a subject like international relations. But for accounting/finance, computer science it very much is a factor.

youhadmeatsausageroll · 15/05/2023 17:46

Aberystwyth is a fantastic university for the course he’s applied for. Let him make his own decision OP, he’s an adult and he’ll be the one studying/living there for three years, not you.

Rightnowstraightaway · 15/05/2023 17:43

Did my undergrad at a top uni, Masters at middle tier uni then another undergrad with the OU.

I liked the top uni the least by far and regretted going there. I didn't find the teaching better - in some ways it was worse. I'm in the "it's his choice" camp.

Excitingnewusername · 15/05/2023 17:39

AllegraWalterJones · 15/05/2023 17:25

Why is the acceptance criteria so low though? Genuinely curious.
Is it because of contextual offers, or something else?

I don't work there, so no idea! 😉

I've worked at a top 10 for 15 years, went to an incredibly competetive RG, and I'd be very happy for my child to select on things other than entrance grades/acceptance rates etc. Unis invest a lot of time and effort into playing the metrics rather than fulfilling the thing the metric is supposed to measure. What I'd care about as a parent/student is staff:student ratios, and teaching quality plus a place that feels like home.

Ive spent too many years talking to students who are miserable but just try and wade through 3 years.

Having said which Aber does in fact have a very good reputation internationally in the relevant subject, so it seems an ideal choice all round!

boys3 · 15/05/2023 17:33

Currently have a DS at Aber. Interpol is highly regarded so Aber not really that odd a choice. He does IR and is thriving. But equally one of his siblings went to Cambridge and enjoyed his experience there.

it’s fair to say Aber is remote. It is a small town with a population of less than 20,000, although perhaps with far better amenities than most places that size. Not the easiest place to get to. Stunning beaches and countryside of course.

most students there seem to love it, although for any from a big city it will be a bit of a culture shock to start with.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 15/05/2023 17:30

Aber is much less developed than Swansea. It is a small town miles from anywhere. The best train line ever there!

rookiemere · 15/05/2023 17:29

Has he actually visited the universities? Does he genuinely want to do a degree?

maggiecate · 15/05/2023 17:29

Aber ranks 4th in the Guardian rankings for the Politics subject area, which includes International Relations. Bristol is 11th, Leeds and Durham 19th equal. https://www.theguardian.com/education/ng-interactive/2022/sep/24/best-uk-universities-for-politics-league-table
Course satisfaction and satisfaction with teaching are both over 90%, which is excellent. It sounds like he’s done his research on what the best university for his field is and picked the right one to get good teaching and a new experience.

Also, The Russell Group is a marketing ploy based on research ratings, it’s not a great guide to the undergraduate experience (I went to one!)

Best UK universities for politics – league table

The study of government and society – political thought, public policy, global politics, institutions and electoral studies

https://www.theguardian.com/education/ng-interactive/2022/sep/24/best-uk-universities-for-politics-league-table

Scottishskifun · 15/05/2023 17:27

Justalittlebitduckling · 15/05/2023 17:06

I think if parents are paying £1000s they actually do get a say in whether it’s a good investment.

Not if that "investment" leads to a young adult being miserable or potentially worse!

I would never dream of dictating or risking my child's mental health for the sake of money!

My dad wanted me to go to St Andrews (was offered a unconditional place) I knew I would hate it after visiting so glad I stuck with my choice and I still have a well paid professional career!

AllegraWalterJones · 15/05/2023 17:25

Excitingnewusername · 15/05/2023 17:24

Another (IR-related) academic adding to the Aber sounds like a great option chorus.

It sounds like he's made a mature, considered, decision that balances prestige and lifestyle really well.

Support him to go where he wants to be; he's more likely to flourish there and that will set him up better for the future than slogging away miserably/dropping out.

Why is the acceptance criteria so low though? Genuinely curious.
Is it because of contextual offers, or something else?

volleyballing · 15/05/2023 17:25

I have two sisters who both got very similar school results. One went to Durham and ended up with a 2:2. This meant she got screened out of lots of job applications by a computer and it took her ages to get past first base. The other went to Stirling, got a first and walked into a job straightaway.

Mapletreelane · 15/05/2023 17:24

I chose Swansea over Leeds. I loved Leeds but then was blown away by Swansea...it was amazing, green, outdoor spaces, the beaches, the Mumbles. We were always at the beach in Spring. I take my family back loads now. I'd have settled there if the right job was there. I moved though to London after uni as got on a v popular graduate program for a well known plc. The impact though of that environment on my well-being cannot be understated. I knew Leeds was more prestigious but I really connected with Swansea. I know it's not Aberystwyth but would imagine it has same kind of vibe.

Excitingnewusername · 15/05/2023 17:24

Another (IR-related) academic adding to the Aber sounds like a great option chorus.

It sounds like he's made a mature, considered, decision that balances prestige and lifestyle really well.

Support him to go where he wants to be; he's more likely to flourish there and that will set him up better for the future than slogging away miserably/dropping out.

AllegraWalterJones · 15/05/2023 17:21

memoirsofatrespasser · 15/05/2023 17:18

Also, how would he be 'wasting his talent' doing IR at a university that (as a pp said) effectively invented the discipline?

A well-established University with an international reputation for his chosen subject(s), set in beautiful surroundings, with very high student satisfaction scores. I honestly cannot see an issue here, beyond the clichéd forelock-tugging that always arises whenever an RG institution is in the mix.

The OP didn't mention 'RG' though. It's the low acceptance criteria. It's not wrong to assume that if it was that good people would be fighting to get in!
The rest are 'BBB' for contextual offers, but Aber goes as low as BCC.