Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

317 replies

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 13:59

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 23:10

Ratatouillewitheverything · 15/05/2023 23:02

You should read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Research would suggest he's actually more likely to do well long term at Aberystwyth.

Just ordered on Amazon. Fascinating. Why is that? Or if you can’t be arsed to explain, no worries - I look forward to reading. Thank you

OP posts:
Hawkins0001 · 15/05/2023 23:10

@Namingchangeagain
Depends on how good he wants to be, does he want to aim to be potentially the best of the best, or is he more happy being the best of the average ?

Original poster
Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 23:08

@RampantIvy i haven’t been on Mumsnet long but it does seem that it is not representative. Even my eldest who is at Cambridge is not motivated by money - wants to join the Met. Many friends there want to work in marketing/journalism/social work/NGOs. My son is not either and is thinking of civil service or public affairs. Law and the City are overly dwelt on here it seems. It is also a shame/unrealistic that people seem to think our YP should have their career mapped out at age 17/18!

OP posts:
Ratatouillewitheverything · 15/05/2023 23:02

You should read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Research would suggest he's actually more likely to do well long term at Aberystwyth.

RampantIvy · 15/05/2023 23:00

somedayMaybes · 15/05/2023 22:34

If he wants to go into the city it wont be popular to say but its RG/ top 20 2:1/1st only really

Ive never met anyone who went to that uni

Show him employment stats and destinations?
Unless he wanfs to be local or public sector its a mistake

Why is there always some mumsnetters who assume that every young person wants to work in the city/for a magic circle law firm/work in investment banking?

It is as if nothing else is valued. Not all young people are purely motivated by money

goodbyestranger · 15/05/2023 22:54

The most outstanding school teacher my DC ever had was an Aberystwyth IR grad. One of those teachers who make their mark for a lifetime.

goodbyestranger · 15/05/2023 22:52

But actually I skipped from the first page to the last on this thread and I was going to ask which subject OP - since IR is a particular case at Aberystwyth :)

goodbyestranger · 15/05/2023 22:50

He has ZERO interest in the city, thanks. Thinking of the civil service which, I have found out tonight, is institution blind when it comes to recruitment

And I think I'm correct in saying that Oxbridge grads are now taken on in even bigger numbers since this policy was introduced.

Original poster
Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 22:45

somedayMaybes · 15/05/2023 22:34

If he wants to go into the city it wont be popular to say but its RG/ top 20 2:1/1st only really

Ive never met anyone who went to that uni

Show him employment stats and destinations?
Unless he wanfs to be local or public sector its a mistake

He has ZERO interest in the city, thanks. Thinking of the civil service which, I have found out tonight, is institution blind when it comes to recruitment 😂

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 15/05/2023 22:39

Phos · 15/05/2023 16:34

How on earth can you teach and assess people who are only capable of getting Bs and Cs at the same level as those who got A stars?

Show quote history

Well firstly getting Bs and Cs isn’t the same as ‘only capable of getting’ Bs and Cs. Many people who are more than capable of As don’t get them for many reasons. Secondly, people who are taught in schools and colleges who have different academic ability are taught together, it’s no different at a university.

Scottishskifun · 15/05/2023 22:37

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 22:21

@midlifewhatnow @scottishskifun that’s great - so glad he seems to have picked well there too. More broadly, I am stunned by the love for Aber I have read today. Really opened my eyes and made me confront my elitist attitude (I went to Oxbridge and our eldest is a ‘top’ uni too). I am now extremely proud of my son for choosing Aber off his own bat

I made life long friends at Aber it truly is a unique place to study and live with a fantastic balance of the two and amazing opportunity to get outdoors as well.

I think it is a well kept secret for many with how much graduates enjoy it mainly as its a proper community as very few travel home at weekends so you are always with your friends!

Make sure he goes to the sports fayre so many choices especially if he wants to get outdoors!

somedayMaybes · 15/05/2023 22:34

If he wants to go into the city it wont be popular to say but its RG/ top 20 2:1/1st only really

Ive never met anyone who went to that uni

Show him employment stats and destinations?
Unless he wanfs to be local or public sector its a mistake

FlumpyLump · 15/05/2023 22:33

I had offers from 2 “red brick” universities and 1 from a university that was known for taking on lower achieving students.
When I went for the open days, I preferred the atmosphere of the “lower achieving” university. It seemed a friendlier place and had more in terms of a modern environment and facilities.
Go to as many open days as possible before making any decisions 😊

ChocChipHandbag · 15/05/2023 22:33

@Mirabai yes, I am literally paid to be pedantic.

Are you this rude in real life?

Tigofigo · 15/05/2023 22:32

Meh all the people I know who went to Oxbridge bar one have fairly average careers / jobs (if they work at all). One has done well in fintech but you don't need an Oxbridge degree to get into that.

Floralys2 · 15/05/2023 22:32

Are you going or your son?

TheOriginalEmu · 15/05/2023 22:30

ladykale · 15/05/2023 14:32

This is regular but terrible advice often on MN.

Young people rarely understand the broader significance of their uni choice on life and career prospects, or choose uni based on which they'll party at more.

Given the amount of debt they'll get into by going, it's helpful to guide young people to go to the best uni they possibly can

Show quote history

But ‘best’ isn’t just about the academic best. I went to Oxford and I hated every single second, I dropped out after a year and went to Cardiff where I thrived and was so much happier.

kitsuneghost · 15/05/2023 22:24

eggsbenedict23 · 15/05/2023 19:45

@kitsuneghost are you telling me there's no career advantage of going to Oxbridge? As in the exact same student will have the same career potential at any other university?

Yes. Oxbridge might be a nice little brag, in reality we have a graduates from variety of different universities at my work and most often it's how you come across rather than which uni you went to.
Each uni is a different experience though and I don't mean to put down oxbridge. Would have loved the kudos of going there but don't feel it would have made me more employable.

Original poster
Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 22:24

eggsbenedict23 · 15/05/2023 22:20

@Namingchangeagain I'm glad you're happy. But aren't you bothered by the fact he made this decision without telling you or informing you?

No. He’s 19 and on a gap year and currently in Mauritius working for Club Med. It was his decision to make and ours to advise - he didn’t need our permission! I am impressed he’s dealt with it all while working abroad tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 22:21

@midlifewhatnow @scottishskifun that’s great - so glad he seems to have picked well there too. More broadly, I am stunned by the love for Aber I have read today. Really opened my eyes and made me confront my elitist attitude (I went to Oxbridge and our eldest is a ‘top’ uni too). I am now extremely proud of my son for choosing Aber off his own bat

OP posts:
eggsbenedict23 · 15/05/2023 22:20

@Namingchangeagain I'm glad you're happy. But aren't you bothered by the fact he made this decision without telling you or informing you?

Tigofigo · 15/05/2023 22:20

I had excellent A level grades, went to one of the "good" unis you mention and my course was dire. Lecturers were bored, had been there 100 years and lost their verve. The course was dull and up its own arse.

My second choice was a much less prestigious uni but with as much more interesting course and set up. I'm convinced I would have ended up doing a completely different and potentially much more fulfilling career making the most of my academic potential if I'd gone there.

I don't regret coming to my uni, as I had some great experiences in other ways I wouldn't have had at the other one. But academically it definitely wasn't the best choice for me.

Original poster
Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 22:14

@Cola2534 that brought tears to my eyes. Amazing!

OP posts:
Cola2534 · 15/05/2023 22:13

Also typically the more traditional unis have better Alumni groups for networking & referrals - Durham certainly does!

My experience has been that whenever I've met anyone in a professional or personal capacity that is also an Aber grad, there is an instant connection that we share something almost secret & very special.

Swipe left for the next trending thread