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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

317 replies

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 13:59

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 15/05/2023 14:20

It's his life, so his choice.

fUNNYfACE36 · 15/05/2023 14:20

He will still have a* aa grades on his cv

Conkersinautumn · 15/05/2023 14:19

It's his choice, his life, his debt.

dootball · 15/05/2023 14:19

He'll probably save a decent chunk of money going to Aber :-)

IamnotSethRogan · 15/05/2023 14:19

Everyone I know who went to Aberystwyth was incredibly happy there and went on to do well. It really is a fabulous place. City unis can be a bit grim

CharlieRight · 15/05/2023 14:18

I wish my parents had discussed my choice with me. Had offers to read chemical engineering at the top universities for the subject but for some reason made my choice on the quality of the buffet on the open day and the nice green campus. The thing is I was easily the brightest on the course and cruised first year, tried to do the same thing in second year and didn’t get great results, had to work hard to pull it all back.

Breezycheesetrees · 15/05/2023 14:18

In my experience "high achieving" often means "high proportion of intake from elite schools" and says very little about the quality of teaching - a prestigious research uni will likely not put their best resources into teaching at undergrad level. Far more important for him to study the right course in a place he will be happy.

PamelaDawes · 15/05/2023 14:17

I teach at a lower tier university largely for reasons of lifestyle. My university is not Aberystwyth, but more or less exactly the same.

Bright students can benefit enormously in these environments because they staff have a lot of time for engaged and interested students. These students can stand out and have a lot of opportunities - our best students go on to post-grad work at top universities and we are still respectable academics with good contacts. Our students tend to be pretty happy.

Our colleagues at higher ranking universities are struggling with increased student numbers.

My son is at a top university, and I am proud of him and understand your sentiments. Probably your son will be fine no matter where he goes, but a happy student is really the goal.

MaggieFS · 15/05/2023 14:17

It is his decision. You can however ensure he's thought through all of the options, and at the same time check your own thinking on why you want a 'higher achieving uni'.

Most importantly, where will he be happy? Because he will do best if he's happy.

Secondly, what direction is he likely to want to go in future? Many huge multi national corporations don't care for 2:1s from a top uni now in the same way they did 10 years ago. Many are proactively looking elsewhere to increase diversity.

Lcb123 · 15/05/2023 14:16

His decision. He needs to be happy there and be interested by the course content. And what uni you go to has zero impact on your career, in my experience.

GreenCoatOrBlue · 15/05/2023 14:13

What’s his reasoning? In my view he would need a very good reason to choose Aberystwyth over the others.

pokabubble · 15/05/2023 14:13

Do not underestimate the impact of living somewhere you hate for 3 years. If he thinks he will be happy at Aberystwyth then support him.

ExtraOnions · 15/05/2023 14:12

He’s an Adult, it’s his decision

Phos · 15/05/2023 14:11

Oh I'm on the fence here OP. My knee jerk reaction is let him go where he will be happiest and that Aberystwyth is a good university BUT realistically, if most people on his course will have BBB as opposed to AstarAA, then the level of teaching and the level he will leave at will necessarily be much lower.

Perhaps worth a conversation about Aberystwyth vs the others. I don't think YABU but it will ultimately be his choice.

ilovesooty · 15/05/2023 14:09

It's his decision, not yours.

Effieswig · 15/05/2023 14:07

My dd went to university last year, so have recent experience of this.

I think you need to discuss his reason for picking the one he has, in a non confrontational way. And in a way that isnt just you telling why he is wrong until he gives in. But, ultimately, you need to accept this is his choice

Morganchristie · 15/05/2023 14:01

What does he like about Aberystwyth? I think the key thing is him being happy where he’s going. I can understand you want him to go a higher ranking university but ultimately you can only gently guide him. It’ll be him spending three years at the place.

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