to think 25 year olds shouldn't be hanging around with 18 year olds?

I don’t think it’s that odd, especially as there are 21 year olds in the group.

How old is the friend who met her via online gaming?

I don't know why people are saying it's more weird that they met online.

It's totally normal for people to meet online these days - age is irrelevant if you all have the same hobby or enjoy the same music or follow the same sports team.

This age silo mentality seems to have crept in recently, and it’s odd in a society where people dress and behave much the same from early adulthood to middle age and beyond. People who share similar interests and get on will naturally spend time together, regardless of age.

Most people these days make some friends online. There's gaming, chat forums, special interest meet-up groups, online dating etc etc etc - times have moved on since 1998!

When I was 18 there were older girls in our friendship group. We didn’t think anything of it at all, we were just friends.

Your daughter is literally and adult. This is fine.

She will make friends different ages through out life due to work, hobbies etc

Surely you have op? I don't get why you have questioned this

That's not the same though because they met organically. If she had a friend who was 26 who had befriended her online and was now socialising with her in person you would probably be just as concerned as the OP.

I would find this a bit strange too OP. Totally agree with those that are saying people can be friends with all age groups and I have friends ranging from 20 years older than me and 10 years younger than me, but at your DDs young age, a 7 year gap appears much bigger. If it was a group of mixed ages that have met at work or through a shared interest then fair enough, but someone older who has gone out of their way to befriend teenagers is not the norm.

My dd is 19 and has a friend at work who is 26. They both do the same job.

Yes it's fact that she befriended them online and then became a part of their physical group that rings the alarm bells for me.

This isn't a natural friendship which has emerged organically from work, volunteering or because the person is a relation of one of her current group. This 25 year old women actively chose to talk to 18 year olds and then become part of their socialising circle, the fact it's a women and not a man doesn't make this behaviour any less worrisome.

i think it’s only a bit weird if their lives are at very different stages but at the ages they are, (so long as the friendship isn’t coercive) they will match up within a year or so and the friendship will either balance out or fizzle out.

I find that between 25 & 65/70 age gaps shrink and 10/20 years between these ages is very close. It might be because we are all on the workplace together so have a common ground, but at 47 I certainly don’t feel much older than my friends in their 30’s or much younger than those in their 50’s & 60’s. However, at 25, I’d have felt very different to a 15 year old.

I think this is why you often get men in their 50’s thinking they have a lot in common with women in their 20’s/30’s as the age gap feels closer. But issues often arise once the older person gets to retirement age as I think the age gap starts to widen again as it does in child/teenagehood. *. So there might not be a huge difference between a 30 and 50 year old but there is between a 60 and 80 year old.

*disclaimer not in all cases and I have known age gap relationships to work into old age, but when they haven’t it’s often because the older one ‘got old’.

When I was 17, I made some work friends who were 27 & 28. I'm still friends with one actually, he came to visit a couple of months ago. Nothing particularly strange nor dangerous appears to be going on. It's maybe hard to accept that your little baby is an adult now, but she is, so you'll need to start trusting her judgement and moving into a more reactive mode where if there is no actual danger, you give advice only when she actually asks.

MuffinToSeeHere
I agree with you.
Having friends who are different ages isn't that unusual.

A woman in her mid 20s befriending teenagers online, tagging onto (and then firmly integrating themselves) into a 6th form friendship group is weird.

Good lord the things that some of you worry about. Let it be, if she's happy with her friends who cares about the age difference.

It is a bit unusual I would say, she doesn't seem to be plying them with drink etc or introducing predatory people. I think it is ok and would also wonder if the younger group are taking advantage of her good nature? Own home, lifts etc

Late 30s here and similar. Especially when you make friends in work. I've got friends in their very early 20s and friends in their 60s.

Do you think she fancies your daughter? Maybe she does. Time will tell.

I think as they have a common interest it's easily explained.

I don't think he comparison with work colleagues is accurate here. This is someone who actively chose to chat to 18year olds via online gaming and is now part of their physics social group which would ring alarm bells to me.

It's fine to have friends who are a different age to you but this 25 year old doesn't appear to have any her own age, I'd be wondering why to be honest.

At that age I had friends much older than 25 as well as same age. If they get on what's the issue? Unless there's more to it YABU.

25 and hanging with a bunch of 18 year olds - where are her friends already? Probably a bit socially inept or else she would already have a well established friend group. At least she's not trying to date her.

The age difference doesn't bother me as I can think of many situations where that sort of age gap happens. For example if they've trained in a sports club together for several years, or it's a friend they've made at work, or a friend of a cousin.

But this
She met her through her friend who met her on an online game
is what makes me feel uncomfortable.

An adult in their mid 20s at a totally different point in life wanting to hang around with 18/19 year olds they've met online, picking them up from college, having sleepovers etc is a little weird.

They're all adults, but 17 year olds don't suddenly become mature at midnight on their 18th birthday. You probably can't get away with saying too much, but keep an eye and hope it fizzles out.

I would be wary too, I have experience of similar which I don’t want to go into but there was a predatory element possibly related to her troubled upbringing.

Im not saying the relationship is of this nature, but I think it’s fine to be on alert.

As a teenager i had friends at at all ages some old enough to be my grandparents

There was nothing weird it just was

That's more weird.

I would be suspicious too, though I don't think you need to worry about your dd OP. She clearly has a group of similar aged friends and I doubt the older woman could cause her any harm. But it does sound strange unless maybe they all share a hobby? It's a far cry from work friends, where you are obliged to work with, and form relationships with, people of all ages.

And different too to romantic relationships, though personally I would not be impressed if my nearly 18 year old had a boyfriend in his mid 20s. Her friends are all 16 to 18 at the moment. She is not a "proper" grown up despite her upcoming birthday and I wouldn't think she had anything in common with a man that old.