to think 25 year olds shouldn't be hanging around with 18 year olds?

I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. At 18 my boyfriend was 27. Our friend group was large and had an age range from 17 to 30! 32 years later we are still together & we were out last night with 80% of the old group, who are a real mixed bag but all still get on famously.

I'm with you, OP- I would also find this inappropriate and strange. I was teaching 18-year-olds at 25, so the thought of spending time with them socially would have felt completely wrong to me.

Berlinlover
Is it weird if I ask my friend who's turning 20 to come to my house? To just hang out? I'm turning 27 soon. We're close but our friendship is platonic nothing more?

They are adults, if still teens, and some of them are in their 20s

I originally met my best mate online about 20 years ago, they were 19 and I was 25. We've been through different life stages, bereavements, marriage etc. together.

Same - one of my best friends as a 19yo was a lady I met online who was in her fifties - we were (and still are) total opposites and in totally different "life stages" but she's one of the closest friends I've ever had.

We've met up in person and due to the distance, even had sleepovers

Exactly - each to their own.

When I was 18/19 I shared a house with other students in their mid-late twenties, one was even in her thirties. It was absolutely fine. Even in halls we were all a mix of ages from 17 right through to early 30's.

When i was 18 i was friends with ladies my mums age. Over 20 years later were still friends

When I was 25/26 I would have hated the idea of having a sleepover with a bunch of 19/20 year olds. But each to their own.

In halls of residence I shared our halls flat with 2 girls who were 25 years old, one girl was 20 and then me. I was 18.
Was fine.

Actually there were plenty of students who were 25 and they were mainly from Europe.

We had a blast.

But the point is that her friends are from a range of ages, not just one age range, which is the case with this 26 year old. I think that's what's so odd about it.

They're not all 19 - they range in age from 18-21.

And what's wrong with having sleepovers in your early twenties?

I would add that I wouldn't necessarily find it odd for a 26 year old to have a friend who was 19, but I do find it odd that a 26 year old's friendship group is made up of 19 year olds. And that they have sleepovers. Very odd indeed.

If she goes to uni at 18yo there is likely to be a mix of age ranges in her cohort. One of DD’s good friends when she was in her first year at uni was someone in their late 20s. Your daughter is a young adult rather than a teenager, that’s certainly how she will view herself. 25yo also a young adult.

They’re at a similar stage in life, no husbands, no kids, starting to find their feet. I’m sure if your Dd came across a 25yo who was married with two kids she’d be less interested in hanging out with them.

I think it's very odd. I can't imagine wanting to hang out with 19 year olds when I was 26. Try to find out more about her.

Apologies if I missed this but have you actually met this woman OP?

There's a 'see all' button on the OP's post, you don't have to scroll 😂

I thought OP said the friend who met the 25 year old was 21, I cant be bothered to scroll back however.

Also there seems to be a lot of black and white thinking about this on this thread. As if someone at 6th form is completely different to someone in full time work. I left home at 17, I worked a full time hours week but equally I was at college. When I went to university I had a full time job and a full time uni course. You can be both and in fact in my view its better to have both, widens your horizons and fills your pockets. I had friends of all ages.

So adults don't spend the night at each other's houses?
I'd stay over at a friend's house.
I'd not have stayed over with teenagers in my mid 20s.

I didnt realise you knew this person, so whats the score with her and how did you meet her?

So adults don't spend the night at each other's houses?
Calling it a sleepover is why it might sound odd.

25 yo met via a game (and again via a 21 year old who is therefore MUCH closer in age). It's likely that they might like to all hang out at hers (presumably as its quite with no parents or siblings around unlike others in the group) gaming and its easier just to spend the night rather than worry about disturbing people at home.

Unless there's anything SPECIFIC that causes concern eg daughter changes personality/starts drinking heavily/mentions anything concerning then it's just adults hanging out and you all saying its odd have some hang ups about online

Nothing odd with a 21 &25 year old being friends, perhaps your dc is the outlier

She could be lonely and found people she connects with. I wouldn't get involved.

Who said anything about rules? All judgement of social interaction comes from observation of behavioural patterns. You have your opinion, I have mine. This isn't a hard science.

Yes, I'd think it less odd if she was the only one with a license and a job - because it's just a continuation of her life before she left school, a couple of years ago. Not almost a decade ago.

But ultimately, as I said those who don't get it, won't. You can poke holes in what I've said all you like (I'm sure you'll go for the 'full-time job', for example) but this isn't something that can be scientifically judged unless you know the people involved.

If you happened to see my earlier posts I did say it was odd, but harmless. No matter what the OP thinks there's nothing she can do about it. In fact, I'd probably be more concerned for the 26 year old - things will change if most of them go off to uni in different places.

All the BS about meeting organically - that's what happened. One member of the group, one much closer in age at that, started talking to the 25 yo online. Met up with her, possibly taking another member or 2 of the group with her as good "meeting people from online" guidance says. Presumably then thought "Hey, you'd get on well with my other friends", invited them along to an event. Other friends agree this is someone they like and get on with and thus a new friendship is born and the group expands.

Nothing OP has said implies that the 25 yo forced themself into the group.

There's no difference between this and making friends at work.

And all the BS about life stages - I'm nearly 30 now but would say I have somewhat more in common with 20 yo and that some 20 year olds feel more "grown up" than me.