To be upset about my sister being given a house by my parents

Blatant favouritism. YANBU.

OP has a mortgage 🙄

OP, YANBU in your feelings.

I think you do realise that it is up to your parents to decide what they want to do.

However, it is perfectly reasonable for you to tell them that whilst it IS up to them, the unfairness of this will hurt and upset you and just like you accept their choice, they will have to accept that you will be upset.

I think fairness is very important.

It causes real unfairness and ruins families.

I have seen it many times over the years and every dingle time it has soured the relationships between parents and siblings.

The worst thing is to let it fester.

Tell them the truth.

They sound like grrat parents, so be honest with them.

OP maybe some of the people replying don’t have a sister, or just 1 sibling so can’t relate? I don’t know, but I completely understand why you’d be pissed off.
It’s very unfair treatment from your parents if they do gift her the house. I think you should 100% raise it with them.
How could you make life SO easy for one child by enabling them to be mortgage free (potentially for life!) and the other be paying a mortgage well into (probably) their 50s?!
Completely unfair.
They should sell the property and split the money between you both.

This happened in my family - it has caused no end of issues. Only people who have never experienced this will come out with trite shit about how you should rise above it, or you should be super grateful you don't need the help. My DB (recipient of the house) has lurched from one fuck up to another completely enabled by endless handouts from DM. I wouldn't swap my life for his but I could do without my DM saying things like isn't it great that your brother has found the time to go hiking for 6 months, buy a rental property, not work full time etc etc. She seems oblivious that this is only possible because she gave him a fucking house. Oh and guess who is expected to look after her? It's not him.

Not fair at all, I have 3 children and recently downsized to give all 3 a decent deposit to buy a flat/house.
My husband’s parents favoured a child each and it’s led to them not being close at all, mainly due to this factor.
I would also try to help each child out financially if they needed it in a difficult situation but would always make sure that it evened up eventually with the others.
You have every right to be upset and it probably will affect your relationship with your sister in the long run.
It’s bad parenting to favour one child over another, if they’ve made future provision for you they should let you know.
But there is the possibility that if either of them end up going into a care home then there might not be anything left for you in the future.

It's unfair to gift one child a house while the other has to pay a mortgage but most people don't get to stay at their parent's house rent free for half a decade to build a deposit for a mortgage... I don't know if I'm bitter or jealous of you both. Either way, your sister should be paying for x amount of time as a reduced rent to your parents or it should have been split between you.

It's not about the money really DH feels upset because his brother is favoured when DH has worked his arse off.

We are a bit further out but kind of the same happened DH is the eldest. Because we were sensible and only had 1 child we bought a house, dh climbed the career ladder and is now a higher earner. BIL had 3 kids in rapid succession couldn't afford them MIL bought them a 5 bed house. It's caused friction within the family but MILs response is you are a higher earner you can afford it.

It seems a really nice gesture for them
to give your sister the house. However sibling rivalry being what it is perhaps they should have sold the house and split the proceeds between you…nah! After writing that I think they have made the right choice. Now both their kids have the security of their home. Your parents are great. I am sure they will give you a little something at some point in the future.

Op, even if your sister does exactly what you did, the changes now in both cost of living and cost of houses make it very possible she won’t be able to buy a house as you did. Also I don’t get all the posters saying they’d never ‘do that’ to their children. Honestly if you had a struggling child and a non struggling child and you couldn’t give the same to both you’d really not even up the score? I think anyone who said ‘no we helped ds1 out a little, we’ll help ds2 out the same amount and let her try and just figure it all out somehow’ may think differently if it happened irl. Op as someone whose parent didn’t speak to their family for years over a will and now relived practically the same thing as an adult and is only just back talking to their sibling- IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Its an absolute abyss of bitterness and sadness

I don't really see how it can balance out over time, unless her parents have a secret third house they can gift her, or a spare £400, 000?

Wow that’s upsetting. Not to mention I assume your house isn’t mortgage free like your sisters will be?

That's pretty outrageous of them. If you sister has a job she she should repay your parents a sum of money, like £300 pcm which should go to you. That way it's fairer. Otherwise sell the house and divide the amount between you.

They weren’t assumptions they were questions. How about if your parents gift her the house and she pays them “rent” til she’s bought it off them? Is that better? Then they get the money, not the bank.

YANBU. Unfair treatment, especially from parents, rankles. It's like you're being taxed for getting your shit together.

I get it.

Only if you live in a very cheap area. Seriously, you have no idea what it's like for people in most other parts of the country. I'm from Derby and if I'd stayed up there I'd be in a mansion for the same price of my small family home down here (I'm not in super-expensive London or a posh area - just the southeast.

My DDs need to stay around here for work and other reasons, so have little choice in where they buy, but the cost of my DD's really tiny terraced cottage straight onto a pavement with no parking, would buy her a four bed semi-detached back where I grew up. Parts of the Midlands are among the cheapest places for property in the country.

I'd be pissed off too, but try not to let it affect you. They obviously think she needs it more

I agree with OP. I would be very pissed as very similar thing happened to me.
i pay mortgage that will go up soon due to inflation.
sister got a flat for free that my parents used to own. And now she travels the world while I wonder whether I can afford ti put heating on or not.
my parents also paid for few things in my house but nothing that equals to a mortgage free flat.

long story short the relationship between me and my sister in non existent. All because of how my parents divided things.
i feel your pain

Then you’ll have 2 houses! And be

either way - it’s not your money which you know. You could say you think it’s unfair if you want. It sounds like you want them to not give her the house. Or would you rather she got the house and they evened it up later? Is the motivation to do her over out of something that could make her life so much better than living at home? Do you not get on?