To be upset about my sister being given a house by my parents

Absolutely unfair.
Im not even gonna talk about the fact that people are aggravated about you living at home rent free for a few years while working (it is VERY common in my country).
But gifting a fully paid off house to a sibling and not the other? No.

I would speak to your parents and say that, while obviously, it is their property and their money, the fair thing to do would be to sell the house and them split it more or less evenly between you and your sister.

She would then have a good deposit for a house, and you could pay off at least some of the mortgage. I wouldnt even be opposed to your sister getting a bit more, as she doesnt have a house yet and prices have gone up. But you should also get a decent chunk of that.

And then, as heirs, whenever your parents pass away (hopefully in the very distant future), the two of you will decide what to do with their current house between the two of you.

Why haven't you said anything ? You're not being unreasonable at all! I think you should communicate your hurt to them and perhaps share a suggestion of how you could both have some mortgage relief from the house, for example your sister not buy half the property and your parents give you the cash to pay off your mortgage ? Or at least have your name on the deeds. It's ridiculous.

Sounds harsh and unfair as a sibling prehaps at this moment and time.

But perfectly rational as a parent. One daughter has a house, parents have a 2nd house and are considering giving it to the 2nd daughter.
Parents always want to help their kids. Ultimately parents wealth is the children's wealth.

Personally, I'd let it happen and be happy for my sister. As you never know what will be round the corner for you.

Maybe your parents have other savings set aside for you, prehaps your sister will be able to gift you something financially rewarding in the future, or maybe your parents current house is intended for you and will be worth a great fortune in the future and you'll be able to help you own children with it.

Be happy for your sister's good fortune, be happy with your own good fortune. Look positively to the future avoid focusing on the negative.

Money comes and goes,.. family ties are for life.

@ManyRiversToCross I know a few families that have made extra provision for a vulnerable or disabled dc. None of the other family members have an issue with it all.

Think it’s grossly unfair.
A friend of mine had exactly the same with her younger sister and it caused a real rift. Don’t think my friend has ever got over it. When her parents passed away the rest of the estate was left equally between the two. However the younger sister had a mortgage free house whilst my friend had to save and pay a mortgage.
Her parents couldn’t see what the problem was🤯
Having a favourite and / treating your kids differently is never ever OK.
You are right to be royal p….ed about this.

the 200k should be split fairly between you and your sister. She can buy a flat or use it as a large deposit towards a house. Anything else is favouritism and upsetting. The parents own house funds may be used up for care when elderly.

Not only are they being very unfair, they are being very stupid. She's living rent free at the moment. Her bills will be enormous if she lives in a house.

What do you mean by “let that lie?” You’re not entitled to anything, you have no recourse. You don’t even know what the agreement is eg she may need to repay them in some way, there is likely some form of business transaction within this. Could be a way to hide assets even, with possible legal matters or future inheritance tax

Maybe they just like her more than you?

@ManyRiversToCross.
sorry we cross posted
that’s good that you have set up a trust
stops any vultures from circling

It's slightly different then if it's going into a trust rather than being a lump sum they can buy a house with.

@ManyRiversToCross

while I don’t think your doing the wrong thing
your other children may feel differently especially if any burden of looking after or ensuring your vulnerable child is safe falls to the

depending on how vulnerable your child is I would probably consider some sort of trust for that property or cash to be held in .
if it’s in a trust it can protect your child from people trying to take advantage of them in order to get there hands on or control such a large sum of money

Also if the money is in a trust - I think if it’s called a bare trust it can’t be taken into account if the persons gets state benefits .

again being vulnerable they may be easy to exploit money from and even the property so by setting up a trust.this could be easily prevented as technically your child won’t own anything as it’s owned by the trust so anyone trying to get there hands on money or property would hit a brick wall .

Badnomad

The rest of the estate split evenly between all the children should give them approx 250k each anyway. Vulnerable (autistic) child's portion will go into a trust fund to be administered by their siblings. Hopefully by the time we die the others will have their own homes; we expect vulnerable child to continue living with us or locally in semi supported living.

Our plan would be to tell them of these arrangements once they are all adults.

Sadly, I think parents giving one child an extra quarter of a million pounds would upset many people. Can you not help them all out while you're alive? By leaving it until after death, you risk causing bad feelings which can't ever be resolved. It's not going to help that vulnerable person to be resented by the rest of their family.

YANBU
I would have thought that, unless there is a huge backstory, your parents should have sold the house and then divided the proceeds between the 2 of you.

In our will we have made additional provision for one of our children, to get an extra 250k to buy a flat, or be gifted any flat they might be living in that we own.

In our defense said child is very vulnerable, unable to work, and it's our fear that they will be made homeless and destitute when we die....would this sort of arrangement make sense to you? I hate to think we will leave behind I'll feeling towards our one child from the others.

Of course this is a massive deal, your sister has been given a house and you haven’t. It’s favouritism and it’s not fair.

I’d raise it with your parents - see what they say. If they are ‘it’s none of your business’ then they are being unfair.

I'd stop speaking to them over such blatant favoritism. And lucky for your sister she gets to look after them in their old age.

This ^
Then your sister can buy a flat with her share to get her on the property ladder, and you can pay a big chunk off your mortgage

and obviously the house should he sold and equal shares should go to you and your sister, which would mean she has a deposit to buy her own property.

YANBU

completely unfair.

as your house is mortgaged it is not comparable to a mortgage free house - your circumstances can change, interest rates can change, it is simple not comparable with never having to pay back a mortgage.

financially, but also emotionally - your parents treat you very differently here.

did your parents explain why they decided do this? is there a history of favouritism?

Perhaps they don't want to have her at home saving up for another four years and are trying to reach an empty nest!

@stayathomer I don’t think the OP’s sister is going to struggle much if she gets given half a £200k house rather than all of it

YANBU

My sister is not struggling though. She's a 20 year old who lives at home rent free and gets all her bills paid. She could save loads of money if she really wanted to, to build a deposit for a house, just as I did
But it’s going to be more difficult for her than it was for you given the prices gone up and the current economic climate. I hear so many people saying now that single people have been priced out of the market