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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset about my sister being given a house by my parents

332 replies

mammamia77 · 13/05/2023 20:44

My parents own two houses (one they live in and the other they rent out). The mortgage on the house they rent out is coming to an end and my parents have been deciding if they want to keep their current tenants or sell up. That was until today when my dad mentioned 'gifting' the house to my sister (aged 20) as another option. Obviously I know that the house belongs to my parents and they are free to do whatever they want with it, but I couldn't help feeling upset about this.

I'm 27 and bought my property aged 25 through hard work and years of saving, so I feel that it is unfair that I had to work so hard to buy my house and my sister just gets gifted with one. My sister could sense I was a bit annoyed over the situation and said something along the lines of 'I don't know what your problem is, you already have your own house'

So, AIBU unreasonable for feeling a bit pissed off that my sister may be given a house basically for free when I had to work so hard for mine?

OP posts:
DannyZukosSmile · 13/05/2023 20:52

Of COURSE YANBU if they are giving your sister a house, and giving you nothing.

That's some seriously questionable parenting doing that. Why would ANYone do that? I'd never give a thing to one child that the other was not getting... Dreadful. Sad

44PumpLane · 13/05/2023 20:51

You're not being unreasonable, I suggest talking to them.

It's perfectly reasonable to say that yo are aware it's their money but it's upsetting to think that you had to scrimp and save for years to be where you are, but your sister might be gifted a house. It's okay to say that it feels unfair.

pbdr · 13/05/2023 20:51

Perfectly reasonable to feel pissed off if your parents are showing blatant favouritism/ treating you very unequally. It would be different if you were absolutely loaded and your sister was in serious financial hardship, but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

rainraingoawaay · 13/05/2023 20:50

Is there a huge backstory about her being golden child / you being left out by parents / parental attitudes etc? Have they helped you in other ways?

Are they actually giving it to her, or is it just for her to live in?

It's definitely not going to foster the best relationship with you and your sister, but from their view you have a house and she doesn't so that point of view is understandable. I think it had the potential for a long term rift!

noworklifebalance · 13/05/2023 20:49

YANBU

As you say, it’s your parents’ house to do what they wish with but this sort of thing rips siblings and families apart and they are pretty naive if they didn’t realise that.

unicorncrumble · 13/05/2023 20:49

Unless there are details you're not telling us that are super relevant, no you're not being unreasonable at all. Letting her live there for a bit while she saves up would be much more reasonable

towriteyoumustlive · 13/05/2023 20:48

Perhaps your parents have other plans to do something for you?

Like you said... its their money so you're not in a position to say anything, but you're quite right to feel pissed off. I would!