To be upset about my sister being given a house by my parents

Yes, I can see that, @mammamia77 - so your parents have helped you out significantly. I'd just let it lie.

You certainly need to talk to them about their future plans for you. It may be that they are thinking that giving the house to your sister will reduce Inheritance tax liability when they die, assuming they live the 7 years, depending on the size of their estate, in which case it's not a bad idea but you need to clarify your position with them too,

And they also helped you significantly by allowing you to live at home rather than renting until you bought a home. They saved you tens of thousands on rent.

I'd hazard a guess that whatever OP's parents did for her whilst she lived with them growing up (driving lessons etc) they also did for her sister - I doubt they were keeping a spreadsheet of every expense and then adding it up realising OP's expenses equated to the full value of a property, then decided to even out the scales by gifting the sister a house.

Some posters will reach for any ridiculous scenario just to be argumentative against the OP.

OP - of course this is unfair. Have your parents explained a way in which they plan to even things out? Could they be letting your sister live in the house and the house would be in both your names?

The whole thing about 'their money, their decision' is a bit too simple and flippant for real life and human emotion. Yes, it's true, but it's reasonable to feel frustrated and hurt if parents favour one child over another for no obvious reason.

It depends on your relationship with them, but if these were my parents and I felt they were favouring a sibling over me, I think I'd have to calmly tell them how I was feeling and ask if there was a reason or a plan to make things more equal. Maybe they plan on leaving you a larger inheritance. Or maybe they feel that your sibling has earned more help somehow, or needs more help. It might not be fair. The answer might be more hurtful than the gift of the house.

If you think you know the answer to this and that asking will only cause unnecessary turmoil, however, maybe it's best to privately acknowledge the unfairness and move on... Only you know if it's worth speaking to them about it. I'd certainly feel that if my sibling received a large amount of extra money/property or other special treatment, she should be the one they'd rely on more heavily when they eventually need assistance.

No but it does show that they help you as and when you need it.
It sounds like you were helped by several thousand when you bought a home. Did your sister complain then that she didn’t get the equivalent in cash?
You actually don’t know any details at the minute, whether she will be given the house, whether she will just live in it, what plans would be in place for you etc

You’re being a bit quick to scream unfair Imo. I’m sure you weren’t asking ‘what about sister what is she getting?’ When they were buying you white goods and a sofa.

Your younger sister sounds a bit entitled if she can't see why you'd be annoyed with this.

Again as everyone has said it's their money, but it would be silly for them to think it wouldn't bother you.

My parents have had to bail my sister out a lot recently due to her circumstances. I don't begrudge it in the slightest - she's had a bad time and she'd be up shit creek if they didn't and its their money to do with as they please. My mum has made sure to tell me they're deducting it from her inheritance so we get the same from them overall (not that she had to do that and I did tell her she doesn't need to worry about that).

Would your parents be thinking along those lines that they've a chance to help her now and that be like an upfront inheritance type of situation?

Is there any reason why she couldn't work or get on the property ladder?

Your parents are wealthy and you're both fortunate young women. When you were slaving away, were you also paying rent and utilities and also paying off a student loan as well as paying for your own driving lessons etc? If not, perhaps your parents did help you out?

Of course people can buy a house at 25 themselves. OP said she worked for four years before buying her house. The house could have cost £120,000 which would require a £12k deposit and OP would need to earn just under £30k a year to pay the mortgage. It's really not behind the realms of possibility even if the house was worth more.

I think your parents suggested this to be tax savvy re: reducing IHT. It’s quite common and I’m sure will serve both you and your sister well in the future.

4 years of saving on a newly qualified teachers salary. It boggles the mind how you afforded to live AND save (what? 20-30k min?) so about a quarter of your gross salary?

Quite. Who on earth can buy a house at 25 without help?

Answer to your sister - no... I don't already have a house, I saved for a 10% deposit on my house and I pay a mortgage including interest every month so that in 20 years time, I will have a house - it is not the same!

Answer to your parents: Why do you think it is OK to give DSis a house and me nothing? If they say that you will inherit their house when they die and it will all be evened out in the will, tell them that there is no guarantee that they will be in a position to leave their house when they die, nor would you want them to have to make decisions in their old age that held them to this commitment and that receiving an inheritance when you are in your 50's when you will already have made life decisions along the way to pay for your own house is not the same as being given a house in your 20's and being able to benefit from that for the best part of your mid life.

Can you tell that I have been at the receiving end of this? Don't hold your tongue but don't necessarily expect that it might change outcomes.

Perhaps they're viewing it as, in terms of inheritance, you each get a house from them.

As you're older and already own a property now, you won't benefit from getting your inheritance now, but your sister would.

You'd still 'get the same' it's just you'd have it later. The money would either pay off your mortgage or ensure you were comfortable when they weren't around to support you anymore.

Don't go to war over this, money is never worth it. Try to let go of your own anger about this and have an open conversation with them about their reasons.

Unless there is a massive backstory I'm sure they'll explain their thoughts and perhaps it won't be so out there.

Start with something non accusatory, like 'wow that's generous, won't you need the money / income from it? What are your plans around that.'

I mean if you can buy a house that quickly on a teacher's salary and have a home by 25, I would say you're very lucky. The situation your parents are trying to put you and your sister in is unfair of course, but I wouldn't say you're that worse off! Most of us dreamed/still dream to be you.

Where do you live?!

Maybe they'll leave you the other house they're living in? Can you ask them, tell them you're hurt by their actions?
If they aren't aware they've caused you upset you know who's going to be looking after them in old age and jt isn't you!

Thing with this logic is that I bought my first house in my early 20s and am likely to have paid the mortgage off, with all the interest, before I inherit anything. I'm nearly 40 and my parents are in their mid-60s!

Having half the money from this house would give the OP some massive overpayment opportunities.

What's the general situation with your parents, OP?

Its a massive thing to 'give' a child a house.

Do they not need income in their old age? Is this indicative of previous behaviour?

*nothing

Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Yes, it's their property and they can do what they want with it but they shouldn't be showing such favouritism. They should sell the house and share the proceeds rather than this option. I truly understand how you feel, my Dad always put my 2 older brothers first. Gave them a large amount of money when they got married and didn't give me anything. All of my life I was the young daughter who didn't get because I was a girl. Yes, it is my parents money but it was the treatment not the money. And, yes, I had that discussion with my Dad, he apologised and did nothing. But, at least I had told him.

YANBU
Situations like this lead to family estrangements and I'm surprised your DPs think it's ok