12 month old still has 1-3 night feeds

Maybe he's not that hungry but needs the milk as a comfort/tool to help get him back to sleep.
I still breastfed mine at 12 months, and when I wanted to give up his dad had to be the one to go in and try settling him in the night, because if I went in he just wanted milk from me. He wasn't actually hungry but just used breastfeeding to settle himself down and then had to learn to sleep without it.

My 18m old still wakes once a night for milk 50/50 cows milk & formula and still has a milk for nap at 2 and milk to go to bed with in a bottle for bed at 7.

@mycupcakes what happened with the night feeds? Im in the same position with my 14 month old!

Mine was same, it comforted him while his teeth were growing. Once they were all through it stopped and he slept!

I have an almost 21 month old who has two bottles throughout the night. It is not for comfort, it is all finished.

it is tough and I can’t wait for it to end but I have tried controlled crying, water etc it doesn’t work and honestly, they are very much still babies.

it’ll take time but it’ll happen when they are ready is what I tell myself

I needed to read this today - thank you!

Try putting the milk in a cup and stop using bottles. I’m guessing he wants the comfort of suckling more than the milk.

Agree!

Also in the day don’t worry how much you’re feeding. My friends daughter is also 12 months and has 3 bottles each day that’s she barely finishes and then a few little crispy snacks - doesn’t touch food, quite picky etc. In comparison to my son she barely eats but all babies are different, if she was hungry she would cry. Just try and sneak high protein things into meals and blended chia seeds into yoghurt and see how he goes. Fingers crossed you will get a full nights sleep once again x

The thing is, how it is now, isn't a huge issue for me. He wakes me up, I open one of those ready made bottles and pour it into his bottle and give it to him. Then I go back to bed.

I was like this. I just didn't care. I woke up, fed her, went back to sleep, used to take 10 minutes. She dropped all her feeds on her own without me doing anything, probably around 18 months.

No advice really, just...if you're not bothered, why make work for yourself (my parenting motto lol)

@mycupcakes yeh I hear you. It's not common (if you believe everything you read / hear) but doesn't mean it's not right for your child. Are they very high on the weight charts? Perhaps it is a comfort thing and they will grow out of it or you could try to introduce a different comfort (easier said than done). If it's mostly not a problem, don't make it into one. I also wouldn't stress about how much food they're getting in the day. I don't believe it makes a difference to sleep. Maybe my two poor sleepers have made me very defeatist but I like to think of myself as a realist 🫠

Does he go back to sleep quickly after a night feed? If so, I'd leave it be. He seems to be eating well in the day so try and give him a bigger bottle just before bedtime and he'll sleep through sooner than you think.

If he's keeping you awake and not settling back to sleep after his feeds then try milk feeds after every solid meal, there's no need to drastically reduce formula at this age.

@Sissynova yes, anyone should tackle sleep (or not) as they see fit. @Whattheflipflap was providing an alternative perspective which IS helpful on a thread like this. I found her comment especially useful as I've really been baby led with my second child (now 7 months) compared to sleep training / following rules / forced night weaning with my eldest. Both are / were pretty awful sleepers and I've found it far less stressful to lean in to the baby's wants than obsessively try to 'fix' it. I also work and have an older child so do understand the exhaustion. It's not forever and that thought helps me. I do sympathise with you, OP. We all have a breaking point and I definitely know the feeling of needing to change something for my own health. Good luck. Remember, even if you do nothing your child will eventually sleep through.

Sounds like he’s hungry to me. My 12 month old son has 150ml formula milk x4, 3 meals, a snack between each bottle and meal. Sounds like a lot, I was concerned about his consumption but the health visitor said it was fine as he is 98th centile for height and 90th for weight. He sleeps through the night and given how hungry he is in the day never wakes at night for food. As long as he isn’t overweight just keep feeding him and check with your health visitor. Also I looked at high protein foods to try and keep him full, high % fat yoghurt, cream cheese, chia seeds, eggs.

Honestly when I was in the depths of sleep deprivation this types of comments were the worst for me.
Most women are working and probably looking after other children. It is okay for them to not want to get up 1-3 times a night to feed an older baby or toddler! This idea that makes it seem like older babies need to wake and feed through the night is rubbish.

You say it’s ‘biologically normal to wake and feed through the night until 2’ but what are you basing that on? It’s certainly not common for 2 year olds to feed through the night.

It’s okay for women to look after themselves too.
This idea that women should wake to feed their baby all through the night for years, while looking after themselves, their older children, working full time etc actually just puts women back and imo puts more pressure on them than ever before.

If someone wants to wake all through the night with their toddler good for them.
If someone wants them and their toddler to get a more restful night sleep and doesn’t want to be feeding multiple times then also good for them!!

I work with families postnatally and I’m just tying up a masters level qualification in infant feeding. I’ve got experience working with bf and ff mums and have for many years, I’ve also provided an extensive amount of night care for babies, when mums couldn’t.
honestly most ff babies, do not sleep through from ten weeks.
its biologically normal for all children to wake and feed through the night until 2. It’s also not advised to night wean until 18 months. There’s absolutely no need to cut the feed if you don’t want to.

we need to stop perpetuating the narrative that A babies sleep through (even adults don’t), and that B children need to learn to settle indipendently (you learn to self soothe and regulate by being soothes and regulated)

I'd off cup of water in case he's thirsty rather than hungry.

I think it is different, FF babies tend to sleep through much younger. That's not what they tell you when you are starting BF. But most BF mums I know their babies still woke for night feeds until 2 or beyond, whereas the FF babies pretty much slept through from 10 weeks. I guess feeding for comfort is less of a thing with older FF babies, their parents use other techniques to soothe them. It's of course fine to feed at night if you want to, the issue may be parental exhaustion. Getting up 3x a night might be a bit much for a mum who's working and also has an older child

You could either just stop giving it and accept probably 3 bad nights but the first will be the worst

Or reduce the amount every other night and aim to be off it altogether by about day 10.

If you're lucky the second option will go smoothly, or it may be impossible and you end up forced to do the first!

But I'd try and stop because otherwise he may carry on waking for milk for another year or 2. And it's not great for his teeth apart from anything else.

Just one thing, don't be tempted to give his first bottle of the day earlier or you might end up with him sleeping through but waking for the day at 5.30 instead. That's actually a much harder habit to break than night waking, and arguably, more exhausting!

I didn't bottle feed my sons but 1-3 night feeds for a breastfed 12 month old would be totally normal. Perhaps it's different if you're formula feeding but perhaps there is nothing to worry about? Feeding for comfort is not bad or wrong for a tiny child.

It is hard to make changes when you know it’s going to be worse in the short term! Totally get that. But he’s probably waking for the bottle at this point so hopefully after a couple of nights you’re on to better sleep.