To ask your experiences of having a doula?

I had a doula for both of my hospital births and she was amazing. She not only looked after me but also heavily advocated for me with the hospital staff so I got exactly the birth I wanted.

What do you want support with exactly? As you will have a midwife 1:1 when you are pushing, if it hurts too much before that call them and get pain relief :)

Sister in law is a midwife (busy, city hospital) and usually there are 4 midwifes looking after up to 20 ladies. I'm sure they are all doing their best but can't imagine they have much time for talking things through etc

@scotmumtobe

OP, did you get the doula?

https://greatermanchesterdoulas.com/

hey, I know this thread is old but I just thought if someone stumbles across this thread it'd be helpful. These doulas are lovely, really supportive, offer virtual support too for when you don't feel up to people coming to the house. They are super supportive and always have your best interests at heart!

I didn’t have a doula as couldn’t afford one, but I absolutely would.
I’ve had 3 nhs births and though my community midwife was fantastic, the hospital ones were not as good. They were very pleasant and supportive but during each labour they would leave several times for quite long stretches of time- certainly not 1:1 support

Hi all,

could I ask how your experiences were with your doulas in the lead up to the birth? How much contact/ support you had and from what stage of your pregnancy?

Thanks! X

Doula is not medically trained. They are there to advocate your needs which seems to be excellent within your home setting but when they arrive at hospitals they seem to just do as their told, keep quiet because it's not their speciality.
Nhs midwives are registered midwives who are bound by policy. They know how to get a baby out, risks involved and use evidence based practice to do so. But the bound by policy bit means your wants and needs come second to the trust policies in place.
Dual trained midwives are health professionals trained in one field such as nursing and then retrained in midwifery. They understand your body and how it is supposed to work before pregnancy and also labour. There's very few of these around.

I had a doula for my second because I wanted some back up in case DH couldn't be there and had to be with DS1 and also because my birth with DS1 involved basically being totally left alone for hours to labour.

In the end, I had a fabulous midwife with me 1:1 throughout and although my doula was also good and would likely have been great at the birth of DS1, I actually didn't feel like I needed anyone other than the midwife. Even DH pissed me off!

I'd have a doula for homebirth/early labour my dh was shit in the latent labour phase. Midwives kept fobbing me off saying I wasn't in labour on the phone. I really could have done with an advocate. I arrived at hospital 10cm dilated and DD was born 30 mins later no pain relief nothing. Scary experience I should have just opted for a homebirth.

@saxendaqs I would also say that your trust is rare. My last birth I was in for under 6 hours until I had given birth, I saw a midwife for little over an hour spread out across that entire time. And half an hour of it was ARM and the delivery. I couldn't get pain relief for a considerable amount of time, she took all my stuff away and said I wasn't allowed off the bed because the CTG was doing the monitoring (in her absence), and they left me alone knowing I would have a PPH after the birth. Sadly I know in my trust this is quite common. I was completely alone as I didn't even have a birth partner.
I trained as a Doula. But Covid hit just as I finished training and I then was having my own children after covid. I made sure I trained as one that wasn't into all the extra stuff though. My aim was always to be there as an advocate for the birthing woman and ensure she is listened to and knows her choices and feels comfortable at all times. But with facts rather than anything else.

What do doulas do wrt advocating, especially in a situation where as some posters are saying, midwives don't listen?

Op, if you do get the doula I'd really love for you to come back and tell us all about it. It would be a great insight for others wondering the same in the future. And also I'm a bit nosey and a sucker for a birth story.

If you remember of course! Best wishes.

I had a doula for 2nd dd after traumatic birth with 1st dd. Was done on advice of consultant as had huge anxiety about the birth. Would NEVER have thought it was for me but was absolutely the best choice I made. Hugely supportive, not at all intrusive and an absolute godsend before, during and after. Honestly couldn't recommend highly enough.

Also, this isn’t true. You can ask what you like but they won’t answer. They’ll just blithely ignore you, make a simpering noise and repeat what they’re going to do with no explanation and no indication that they’re going to get your consent.

Get a doula!!

My midwife has told me six things so far, five of which have proved to be incorrect.

I wouldn't have her advocate my order in Greggs, let alone help out with birth.

I had a doula for both of mine.

You will essentially interview each other before a doula will take you on as a client, they want to make sure they mesh well with you first.

I also disagree with the midwife who posted higher up, sorry but I did not have good 1:1 care from a midwife with my first child, she buggered off most of the time and did not inform us about concerns with the CTG recording so it was a sudden shock when a Dr appeared saying they were concerned I might need an emcs due to the readings on the CTG that had started happening an hour ago and that we had no clue about. When I got moved to consultant led I thankfully got a new Senior midwife and he was fantastic and was present pretty much present the whole time for me. So, definitely no guarantee you will have a midwife present for you constantly, nor that they will communicate well with you.

In the above situation we were able to ask for a few minutes to discuss and during that time my doula was invaluable, she was able to give us more information from her knowledge and as a result we asked for further investigation instead of agreeing to an emca straight away (waters breaking and blood sample from baby) and in this way an unnecessary emcs was avoided.

My doula also was able to tell me about the Bishop score exam that can be done, when my consultant wanted to induce me at 38 weeks, and due to knowing about that and asking for one and being given a very low score, we decided against inducing that early (the lower the score the more likely a c section will be needed, he came naturally at 41+2 instead, I did go in for induction at 40+6 but was low priority so he came by himself before a bed in the labour ward was found for me).

Doulas will not advocate for you as such, they are not midwife nor medical professionals, so they cannot advise you on what course of action to take but they can help you understand your options and be a calming presence for both you and your partner. They are a fount of labour related knowledge. My first birth wasn't the best experience, but my husband was able to remain a bit calmer because he could see that my doula was not panicking, so a doula can be just as much support for your partner as they are for you.

They can help prepare you prior to labour, talk through any worries you may have, help you come up with birth preferences, discuss pain relief options and what you can do in the labour room to help you feel more relaxed and more in control (music, soft lighting, aromatherapy etc).

I forgot to take some frozen colostrum with me when we went in to have my first, so after he was born my doula kindly popped back to ours and fetched some for us.

My second doula was also amazing, with my second my husband couldn't be with me, partly due to limitations with covid and partly as he was the best option we had to stay home with our eldest. She gave me a lower back massage while I laboured, kept me company and chatted with me (I actually had her, the midwife and a student midwife with me for that one, but it was in a different country with amazing health care and they (the midwives) offered soft lights, music and aromatherapy oils to me themselves). She went and fetched me some food from what was left for patients after I had given birth and me and baby were sorted out. She also helped me book a taxi and met me at the hospital to help me and baby home after we were discharged.

Both doulas did after birth visits/debriefs with us as part of the packages we chose. We didn't feel we needed after birth doula care, both times we were more concerned about being prepared beforehand and having a doula present during the birth. I believe I have read somewhere that having a doula present during the birth reduces the likelihood of needing lots of interventions? Someone correct me if I am wrong.

If I had another (we are stopping at 2) I would absolutely be looking to hire another doula again.

I got an independent midwife 8 months in after feeling totally let down by the NHS. I found the NHS an awful experience from start to finish where no one seemed the slightest bit interested in my pregnancy or me as an individual, they just wanted to tick the boxes and move on as quickly as they could.

The independent midwife was absolutely amazing, totally the opposite experience, it's expensive but I honestly couldn't recommend it highly enough.

You can meet your doula before the birth. You can't meet the midwife before the birth as you don't know who will be working at the time.

It seems like a good idea.

I didn't have a doula, for a variety of reasons I only wanted DP there at the births of my children.

I have to say, as much as I think midwives like @saxendaqs do a fantastic, and I imagine extremely stressful, job, I have to agree with other posters in that they can't always be counted on to advocate for you. With both of ours, DP was leaving the room often to track down a midwife to ask for pain relief, leaving me quite scared and alone, but preferring that instead of being in pain with no medication! During labour with my first, I remember tearfully telling a poor cleaner who came in for the lunch dishes that I felt the need to push and couldn't stop myself, and I heard the poor woman literally bolt down that corridor, looking for the midwife.

Midwives are so overstretched, if you feel you won't be able to advocate for yourself and won't have someone with you who will, a doula may be a wise choice.

@Byouarebeautiful sounds like you had a bad experience there. That would be unheard of at my trust.

A huge part of the role of the midwife is to advocate for the women we care for.