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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think joint pain is just normal in your mid 40s?

81 replies

bluebears1 · 02/05/2023 13:49

I'm wondering to what extent it's just part of ageing to be stiff with achey joints in your mid 40s. I'm debating whether or not to discuss it with my GP.

I've had some joint issues for a while. For years I have had some amount of aches and stiffness in my lower back and knees. About two years ago this spread to my neck and I now have issues with my elbow, my big toe. I previously had all the tests for RA and don't follow the pattern for an inflammatory condition so it seems to fit the picture of Osteoarthritis, which my mother I'm stiff in the morning and if I sit for periods in the car or on the sofa. The pain is manageable but it gets worse if I do activities like hoovering, exercise, gardening.

But! Part of me thinks maybe this is just part of getting older and that most people in their mid forties will have stiffness and joint pain? AIBU to think this is the case or is it something that points to an actual problem?

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Bathmonkey · 09/02/2025 21:33

bluebears1 · 02/05/2023 13:49

I'm wondering to what extent it's just part of ageing to be stiff with achey joints in your mid 40s. I'm debating whether or not to discuss it with my GP.

I've had some joint issues for a while. For years I have had some amount of aches and stiffness in my lower back and knees. About two years ago this spread to my neck and I now have issues with my elbow, my big toe. I previously had all the tests for RA and don't follow the pattern for an inflammatory condition so it seems to fit the picture of Osteoarthritis, which my mother I'm stiff in the morning and if I sit for periods in the car or on the sofa. The pain is manageable but it gets worse if I do activities like hoovering, exercise, gardening.

But! Part of me thinks maybe this is just part of getting older and that most people in their mid forties will have stiffness and joint pain? AIBU to think this is the case or is it something that points to an actual problem?

After googling is it normal to have finger joint pain in your 40s I came across this post... I'm 41 and have never fully recovered from covid, the doctors say I have long covid and polymyalgia rheumatica, but possibly something else too as the steroids help but not fully. Late to the party here but did you get any answers?

Bea822 · 05/05/2023 06:09

I'm 40 and wake up so stiff, I ache too and I've got awful plantar favilitis. I feel so old and worn out...

lljkk · 05/05/2023 05:07

I had xrays on my shoulders ? 6 years ago, "signs of wear" but didn't reach the threshold to be called OA. I'm used to it now. Swimming seems to help a lot.

My dad had chronic stiff neck, got some surgery to supposedly stop him needing a wheelchair. He woke up with & has kept chronic neck pain since that makes it difficult for him to walk which means his overall fitness has slowly declined. 2nd surgery since but not yet improved. Interventions can easily do as much harm as help.

LBFseBrom · 05/05/2023 04:51

If you have continuous pain in your joints, eg knees, fingers, hips, not provoked by an injury, accompanied by stiffness for any length of time it is a cause for concern. It could be osteoarthritis caused by wear and tear and lack of synovial fluid (that's where 'age' comes into it), but can only be confirmed by medical investigation. Changing diet and taking recommended vitamins and minerals will help, google is your friend there. It can be halted.

Rheumatoid arthritis is an auto immune disease which causes pain, swelling and heat in the joints. A blood test will show raised ESR and CRP. An anti-inflammatory diet is indicated in that case. Some people take anti-inflammatories but there are severe side effects from both NSAIDs and steroids long term so it is best to try other methods first. However the op has said she does not have RA.

There are other conditions that feel similar, fibromyalgia is one. It's important to de-stress your life as much as possible.

lljkk · 04/05/2023 22:36

How would I know if I had joint pain?
Seriously... how?

i got bit by a dog today, my thumb hurt for a while afterwards. If thumb aches at some point tomorrow, do I blame myself (for upsetting the dog) ... or my age?

I fell of a bike yesterday, result = proper scabby knee. If it aches tomorrow, is that fault of the rutted farm track ... or my age?

I have a chronic shoulder issue, probably from carrying heavy bags. Or maybe it's my age. Who knows, how would I know?

I damaged my foot jumping barefoot down to concrete, age 18. sometimes that foot randomly just throbs. Concrete... or my age?

BungalowLil · 04/05/2023 22:02

My mum had osteoarthritis and when my joints started to give me pain in my 40s I thought I was going down the same route. Stiffness, pain, swollen joints...so much so that I couldn't put on rings and bangles I'd worn for years. The pain in the mornings slowed me down.

Really recommend seeing a podiatrist (as a previous poster has said). I got orthotics and it switched off my foot and knee pain.
Stretching, not exercise, but a series of stretches every day released the pain and stiffness in my back. My friend gave me a book called Yoga for Gardeners and I learned and did every exercise. It made a real difference.
Gave up alcohol and lost weight.

I think all that really helped the symptoms but the main cure was coming out of the other side of the menopause. I'm sure it was menopause related. 58 now and no pain at all.

People always say we don't talk enough about menopause, but something I experienced and nobody told me about was that menopause ends and the pains and problems that come with it go away. I though they would last forever and wish I had known there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Bonbon21 · 04/05/2023 21:42

You mention your are going to try weights. Can I suggest you give pilates a try? I found it gave huge relief to joint pain... find either a small class so you have proper supervision from the teacher or a few 1.2.1.sessions.
Hope things improve for you soon.

sadsack78 · 04/05/2023 21:36

I'm so sorry you're in pain, OP.

Go to your GP. As others have said, this isn't typical for your age group. You deserve to feel good and not be hobbling around in pain.

User1438423 · 04/05/2023 21:33

I'm 36 and have chronic knee pain, some days it hardly bothers me, and only hurts when I've been sitting still too long. Other days I can't walk without limping. I also get moderate pains in my back and mild pains in my shoulders, elbows, wrist, ankles etc which is usually worst when I first wake up, so I put it down to sleeping awkwardly.

Other joints are nothing like how much my knees trouble me. I did see a physio last year but they didn't seem bothered. Said it was just runners knee and I had very slight pronation and slight hypermobility that meant exercises they would normally recommend won't help. I am very active, a few days a week I do over 20,000 steps, but there is no correlation to how active I am and the level of pain I might have day to day.

itsgettingweird · 04/05/2023 21:23

bluebears1 · 02/05/2023 13:50

I should add, I'm in late perimenopause and on HRT for the past six months, which has improved everything else but not the stiffness and joint pain sadly.

Oh.

I was going to suggest menopause.

I'm about to have a blood test to check my hormones (due to joint pain) to see if that's the cause.

I have had a hysterectomy but have my ovaries so blood test is the only way to know!

Tootsey11 · 04/05/2023 21:21

Normal for me, every part of me aches. I'm 47.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 04/05/2023 21:16

Jesus I’m 33 and constantly aching 😄 have been for 5 years since I had my second child. Right now my big toe has a sharp pain, aches in my upper back, right sacroiliac and both hands. Envious of all you non-achers!!

Londontown12 · 04/05/2023 21:15

It can be normal for some due to hormones changing!
But not for myself I started having joint pains 2020 and was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis! Gp thought it was osteoarthritis but it wasn’t I pushed for referral and rheumatologist did mention peri menopause as it’s quiet common unlucky for me it wasn’t that !
I would get yourself checked out blood tests don’t always diagnose it mine was diagnosed throu MRI x

ejbaxa · 04/05/2023 21:14

I am 45 and post menopause. I am fat from the menopause process (although not obese) and I am not on HRT. I don't have any joint pain, ever. I don't think it is necessarily age related and I'd try to hunt down the cause - it's a fairly broad symptom so it may not be easy to hunt down.

NannyGythaOgg · 04/05/2023 21:11

I'm 68, not particularly fit, as in lots of exercise, but have no health issues other than a (treated) underactive thyroid.
I don't have any regular aches and pains at all. I can do a 5 mile walk - if it's relatively flat, takes longer if it's not.
I don't have joint pains. Lower back pain can be induced but it doesn't last.
Vit D requirements are much higher than NHS recommendations (4000iu per day minimum) plus magnesium have helped. I had more muscle pain before I started these supplements. Vitamin D/magnesium sorted out clicking knees and ankles too.

Cheerfulcharlie · 04/05/2023 21:09

I had joint pain and stiffness in early 40s until I cut out gluten completely.

Hercules12 · 04/05/2023 21:08

I even got a second opinion privately as I doubted it with the neg results and private one agreed with my nhs one

Bluebells1970 · 04/05/2023 21:08

I'm 52, no sign of menopause yet and suffer terribly with my feet, hips and lower back most days. Only thing that eases it is lots of walking that thankfully is compulsory with 2 spaniels in the house. I saw a podiatrist last year as my feet were really getting me down and had xrays that showed arthritic changes. Said it was very normal and age related, so I've never gone to the GP about my hips. I find sitting down for long periods of time dreadfully uncomfortable these days though, especially on my office chair. Will try taking vitamin D as I had a free bottle of them from Boots with my last order.

LBFseBrom · 04/05/2023 21:08

I'm in my seventies and can't say I have many aches and pains, when I do it's usually because I've strained muscles or injured myself in some way.

Coming up to the menopause I had nothing like that.

However I did have a lot of pains in my limbs, fingers sometimes and knees when I was young, even as a child. I've no idea what that was about. However I was always lurching between crises and stress/anxiety does make you ache.

Op, it would be a good idea if you took some supplements; Osteocare Original is very good, Omega 3, B12, magnesium and make sure you have a healthy diet. Take care of your circulation too, everything is linked. Discuss with your doctor and ask for some blood tests which will show if you are deficient in anything.

Some people do report that they have pain and stiffness in joints and limbs during the perimenopause so if that is the cause of yours, it should pass. However do shore up your general health, take moderate exercise and above all, try to relax.

Batalax · 04/05/2023 21:08

Mid 50’s, no joint pain despite being overweight and unfit.

Hercules12 · 04/05/2023 21:07

There’s a really good psa Facebook group. My rheumatologist looks at and more importantly felt my swelling.

NotAnotherUserNumber · 04/05/2023 21:00

Hercules12 · 04/05/2023 20:42

Op- I would ask for private referral to a rheumatologist who specialises in psoriatic arthritis. I have this - no psoriasis though and bloods, X-rays and scans all fine. Started mid 40s. Not many gps and not all rheumatologists good with it. I was lucky I was referred to excellent one on nhs despite all tests being fine.

How did they diagnose this if the tests are all fine?

I ask because I am being investigated by rheumatologist but so far they seem very reluctant to do much because I am ANA negative on blood tests (which apparently rules out most rheumatological disease) and don’t have any proof of permanent joint damage in scans (prednisolone seems to alleviate my flairs in joint pain without lasting damage so far).

I suspect that, amongst other things, I may have psoriatic arthritis as the problems with my nail bed, nail pitting and skin look very similar to pictures of this and the joint pain and swelling in my finger joints seems to correlate with the nail and skin issues.

Willmafrockfit · 04/05/2023 20:45

do you drink enough fluid?

Willmafrockfit · 04/05/2023 20:44

do you do sport that puts stress on your joints?

Hercules12 · 04/05/2023 20:42

Op- I would ask for private referral to a rheumatologist who specialises in psoriatic arthritis. I have this - no psoriasis though and bloods, X-rays and scans all fine. Started mid 40s. Not many gps and not all rheumatologists good with it. I was lucky I was referred to excellent one on nhs despite all tests being fine.

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