my partners smell is really getting me down

Regarding his breath, he may have gum disease. If a dentist isn't an option, flossing is a must.

What's his diet like? Does he restrict food by any chance?
People who are dehydrated from not eating properly often have smelly breath.

I wouldn't be sucking anything.

On a serious note, just tell him. You've been together long enough. You can say it in a kind way. Showering once a week, especially if someone is relatively active, isn't enough.

Ewwwww only 4 years, I would end it.

I expect some of his funky stink will rub off on you op, so you probably smell a bit gross to others occasionally, think about that.

YANBU. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that he showers more often. I’d be repulsed if my partner did this. And I certainly wouldn’t want to share my personal space with someone like that and that includes my bed. Eurgh.

If you live together and share spaces I

Op you've posted about this man a number of times. He doesn't respect you enough to maintain basic personal hygiene. And in fact he holds you in contempt to the point that the below happened. This man clearly thinks that it's a woman's job to clean up after him. Do you really want to spend your life with such a man? Do you really want your child to think this is a healthy relationship dynamic? If your child is a boy, they're learning all this is how they should treat a woman. If they're a girl, they're learning this is how they should be treated. Don't you want more for them, even if not for you?

Read your previous words below. He's horrible.

He couldn't do more for me when we were first together. Always very considerate. Seems he's just complacent and lazy.

We don't have dc yet but I'm pregnant. As I've been out of action for a while yet still trying to do as much as I can. Rather than think 'I'll pick up the slack whilst she's not well' he seems to think 'well I'm not cleaning up if she isn't'

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me. I appreciate it's not all men but boy am I fed up

Keeping clean is a hassle, but normal, functioning adults do it. I mean, if I could flick a switch and never have to shower again, I would. As it is, I shower twice, most days.

So why is your OH not bothering? That is the issue.

I think I have also seen your posts before. I would absolutely give him a ultimatum but be prepared to act on it as it may be that he's just not willing to change. Sounds odd though if he was taking care of himself before, perhaps there's more to it 🤔

I'm sure I've read this exact thread from you OP before, or something very close to it.

I don't understand why you stay with him - just leave. He won't change.

Defo don't suck it up. Tell him directly and be open to discuss it with him.

How do you feel about the sexless marriage?

If he won't change than you'll have to consider changing your situation by ending the relationship

How old is he?

Did he only shower at the outset to impress you? Is his family similar? This would be a deal breaker for almost everyone. You have to be blunt and see if he will change.

Oh, no! Has this been a problem long? Are there any other issues in the relationship?

It sounds like there might be an underlying issue there, maybe something like depression.
However no, you shouldn't have to put up with that situation, that's not fair on you.

Grim. Leave him, he clearly doesn't care.

If he doesn't have a mental or physical disability and can afford hot water but he still doesn't shower, he's grim and I'd leave.

Why do people think it's a good idea to infantalise an adult in this way?

Just leave him OP, this is grim. You get one life, ffs! One!

YUCK! I would be incredibly harsh to him here tbh.

I know people will think that’s not the way to go but he’s being utterly vile and you’ve tried a nice chat. I would be harsh, give him one last chance and then I would be gone.

It’s like children - shower, dressed, teeth and make bed before Xbox. But you’re not his mum.

The breath issue can be lots of things that aren’t hygiene that. That should be looked into He could have tonsil stones etc

it isn’t usual for an adult who doesn’t have depression / mental illness or disorder and who has a partner /job to not shower. Especially as you say it is a change. I would have him talk to his GP about his mental health as not only has he lost interest in self care he has lost interest in sex as well. That level of change in functioning usually means something is going on.

don't want to be near him and I feel awful about it.

why do you feel bad about it? You expectation of living with someone clean isn’t unreasonable.
he should feel bad not you .

You've told him he smells, he should wash.

i know I sound harsh, but my ex smelt and it’s horrible, it ruins the relationship, and he could change it.

I would give an ultimatum snd mean ir. Shower and teeth brushed every morning or it's over.

You've posted about this so many times before! Just sack him off.

Sorry OP, this sounds really tough. For your own sake, be honest and let him know how you feel.

Also, could it be low mood/stress? My hygiene standards slipped when I was feeling low and I stopped taking care of myself. Do you think he'd see his GP to talk about his situation?

Re. dental hygiene, if you've got an appointment coming up, could you suggest booking him in too and going together?

I wonder if there is more going on for him. It sounds like it. When a person is feeling mentally unwell, such as having depression, they can sometimes be very neglectful of themselves including their personal hygiene.

Have you had a chat to him? It’s a sensitive topic, granted , but you should not have to put up with that. And neither should he, especially if he used to be clean and smell nice. More to the point, if he feels unwell inside , it may be a good starting point in signposting him to the GP for help and support.

Hope things work out for you both op.