my partners smell is really getting me down

I hate this attitude on mumsnet.

Nowhere in the terms of use does it state that somebody can only talk about a situation once. It certainly doesn't state that you have to "LTB" the first time you're told to, which on here is usually in the first five minutes after posting.

Somebodies relationship issues don't end when the previous thread comes to an end. If the OP needs to post about it 5 times she's welcome to do so. If you're not interested then don't bother reading it.

This is exactly it

I wouldn't have sex with someone who didn't have enough respect for me to wash first. Keep giving him presents of Lynx or other sets for washing including deodorant. Wash the sheets daily. If he doesn't get the hint and you find it unpleasant to be near him physically then you need to tell him that he needs to take action. As for bad breath (halitosis), there are many causes for it. You may find this page helpful https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bad-breath/symptoms-causes/syc-20350922

You say you have a baby on the way which means you were sleeping together at least within the last 9 months. Is this something that has started since then or has this been going on before then?

Deal breaker as far I’m concerned. Or perhaps I have standards? No way would I be in the same house as a man who doesn’t shower or brush his teeth, it’s disgusting. I’m in a lifelong relationship and there’s no way I would put up with this.

Why do you keep asking the same questions OP?

What's the point?

You need to leave, seriously. You can co-parent without being together.

My father in law is the same. He's in his 70s and lives abroad. Visits once a year. Comes for 10 days and showers once if at all. It's fucking gross, I hate it.

I didn’t shower much of this week cos I work from home and didn’t need to leave the house, I am also in therapy for depression and on pills for an a illness.

He sounds like he needs a general nudge and a doctors appointment, I am pretty sure he isn’t being Unhygienic just to piss you off, so those who say LTB are being unfair. It is hard to be with someone who is going through mental health disorders - but with the right help you can treat this like he has a long term physical illness like long covid or a shitty virus xx

OP I've just advanced searched you. Fucking hell. This character is a complete and utter slob. As another poster pointed out, he watched you clean while you were pregnant and ill. You're not the poster I thought you were - there is another poor woman on here, pregnant and ill, like you were, with a knob cocklodging in the house doing fuck all while the pregnant woman cleans and tries desperately to keep the home in some kind of acceptable hygienic state.
Your one isn't capable of putting food back in the freezer meaning it defrosts and goes to waste. He can't won't close bread packets meaning it goes stale. And so on and so forth.
He can't be arsed to clean his teeth twice a day and shower once a day. Absolutely disgusting.
He is completely and utterly disrespectful.
What the fuck is the point of him??

Afraid so. He's awful.

And OP's existing child is being shown this relationship model and will think it's normal.

He couldn't do more for me when we were first together. Always very considerate. Seems he's just complacent and lazy.

We don't have dc yet but I'm pregnant. As I've been out of action for a while yet still trying to do as much as I can. Rather than think 'I'll pick up the slack whilst she's not well' he seems to think 'well I'm not cleaning up if she isn't'

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me. I appreciate it's not all men but boy am I fed up

OP you really don't need to be with someone who has so little respect for you and doesn't care enough about you to grow up.

And your child deserves a better relationship blueprint than this. Seeing a single, happy mum is far better than being taught that women exist to make men's lives easier at the expense of their own happiness and wellness.

You were pregnant and very ill and he watched you do all the cleaning rather than proactively doing it or even helping you

Fucking hell. It's not that prick is it??
Please, no.
This guy needs throwing out with the rubbish.... never mind trying to help him establish routines to shower and clean teeth; organize a trip to the hygenist for him; have him investigated for tonsil stones and the other helpful suggestions people have made. This bloke is a complete loser.

He goes to work without brushing his teeth? This guy is a troll. Honestly OP wtf. Why did you get pregnant by this man? I would issue an ultimatum immediately and stick to it. That's truly disgusting.

I was going to be sympathetic, but you've had numerous talks in the past about his hygiene and you've still had sex with him and gotten pregnant. This is unfortunately you having low standards OP. You need to make it clear that it's unacceptable. He has zero respect for you and you've enabled this behaviour.

And to be clear, this isn't just about the hygiene thing - I'm disgusted by his general attitude towards you on other threads. You were pregnant and very ill and he watched you do all the cleaning rather than proactively doing it or even helping you.

You've spoken before, given ultimatums, begged him to do various things and the most he does is be a bit better for a couple of days to appease you and then go back to doing what he wants, when he wants, however that makes you feel.

This man is not a good role model for your kids because he is not kind to you, doesn't want to work as a team and absolutely sees cooking, cleaning, childcare and general life admin as your remit because you have a vagina.

He's an arsehole OP, who will never change.

No sex but pregnant?

Is it him down. He changes (showers every day) or he's out.

Fucking gross.

If he is having severe MH problems, a daily shower etc can be the start of the turn around

Absolutely, I feel so much more energetic and able to start doing something after.

If his breath smells after brushing his teeth he probably needs a root canal

I think you have an older kid too? They're having to put up with living with someone who stinks because they don't give a shit enough to wash themselves to make life more pleasant for the rest of the household.

It's so bad you have to roll a window down. I mean bloody hell it sounds horrific and your other child is living with this too. Please remember this when you're speaking to him later.

It's not just him inflicting this on you, it's you both inflicting it on your other child.

Why keep
Posting about it, you clearly are not prepared to deal with the problem.

I used to work with someone who smelled really bad, had greasy hair and dirty clothes. The manager had a chat with her as people were starting to complain. Turns out she had experienced some really upsetting loss in her life ( several miscarriage's and a stillbirth) and had just lost all hope. She just about managed to get into work but that was it. Personally I would try not to get too angry or say anything unkind. If your partner is feeling down he needs support not further criticism. Write him a letter. That way you can say everything calmly and without any conflict.

It's one way of ending the relationship without him being the bad guy

My ex was the same and things never improved. I told him about the smell, so did his family members but he never changed, he improved for a little while but very quickly slipped into bad habits. Like with your DP one of the things that first attracted him to me was how he smelled nice and took care of himself. Turns out he only looked after himself when he wanted to date according to a mutual friend.

Hygiene is something so basic OP, don't compromise on it. Find someone who respects you enough to take basic care of themselves. I have two DS's now who do try to soap dodge, I can't imagine dealing with it when the other parent doesn't see the importance of washing themselves.