Does anyone else just feel so down about their house?

It sounds like it’s not just in need of a clean but renovation. A newly painted skirting board is clean with a quick wipe but if your skirting boards are a gnarly and dented etc they will never look clean even with a scrubbing brush. Are you any good at decorating? You’re going to have tackle one room at a time. It may take a few weekends of prep but you’ll get there slowly.

My advice would be -

Less stuff

Clean little and often

Hire a cleaner for the tasks you're currently doing eg hoovering, bathroom. This would free up time for you to do the little / occasional jobs eg skirting boards, tops of doors, cleaning behind the sofa etc

Paint all walls white, so they can easily be touched up from time to time

If bathroom is past its best, there's a limit to what you can do to improve that, other than painting the walls, get new towels and keep it smelling nice eg candles or a diffuser. But it's a shame to let that put you off inviting visitors over

3 dogs here. House is always covered in hairs. Also moved a bit so still have boxes in some rooms. You need a cleaner, negotiate price and what exactly needs to be done the 1st few times. Maybe coming a few days will spread the cost. Once that is done then they have a regular task list every week, mine only comes every two weeks but that works for me. I find then on the weekend she comes the basics are done, bathroom clean floors washed etc so that frees me up to do other stuff. Currently clearing out two spare rooms of clutter and clothes. As i know the rest of house is clean i have the clear mindset to tackle the rooms. Start small, could be one wardrobe or drawer. Be ruthless and clear out what not needed. Charity shop or sell. Then once space clear and make it pretty

I try to have a bit of a full clean when I can between full time work and children but it feels back to square one again within a week

but that’s normal. Most homes need cleaning properly weekly and usually more often. You also need to clean as you go. It is difficult if lots of you, but sadly regular cleaning is a Normal requirement.

Meadow also has a much nicer vibe than lawn.

That is interesting. Maybe my alternative is to chuck down packs of a few other wildflowers and claim we have a medow 😁

Yes, me. I spend so much time organising things, cleaning, tidying, yet it just never ‘feels’ clean and tidy. Clutter just appears faster than I can remove it. I joke to DH it’s like that scene in Harry Potter when he touches a goblet and it turns into 10 goblets until he gets crushed under the weight of the gold. But sadly for me it isn’t gold, just crap.

Only a tiny thing to take off your list, but don't get rid of the dandelions. They are there for a reason and they are helping your lawn and soil to be healthy:

1. Dandelions are good for your lawn. Their wide-spreading roots loosen hard-packed soil, aerate the earth and help reduce erosion. The deep taproot pulls nutrients such as calcium from deep in the soil and makes them available to other plants. While most think they’re a lawn killer, dandelions actually fertilize the grass.

From:
https://www.mofga.org/resources/weeds/ten-things-you-might-not-know-about-dandelions/

I also think there comes a time in a houses life where only a redecoration will make it feel fresh/clean again. Sad but true.

It sounds like repainting walls, woodwork is not an option for you at the moment.

I recently found that I could get more marks off walls than I expected, but I also had leftover paint and managed to do touch ups.

I live in an old house and even when I have deep cleaned it still doesn’t look spanking new.

Ive found a cleaner will do what you ask them to do, unless they’ve misunderstood you and think you want a deep clean as well as the other stuff.

If that’s not the case, could you take the time saved by the cleaner to tackle the other things. Not ideal I know, because for deep cleaning it’s best to have a couple of uninterrupted hours.

I totally agree with the other poster that you just don’t notice the grubby corners in another persons house.

I would recommend trying to make small areas of your house visually pleasing. So say a cushion on a chair that coordinates really well. Or a duvet and bedside lamps that you love. Plus plants always make rooms look better.

Then as you move through your house, you’ll see the dirty marks as you go up the stairs, but turn a corner and you are looking as the prettiest bed cover you have ever seen.

This might help you until you have more time and money to do what you want.

Totally! Three kids (2,3,7) and a cat and our house is always a mess. It’s usually not too dirty, but the sheer amount of stuff (toys!!) and clutter we have collected really weighs down on me. I declutter and generally don’t buy many new things, but the mess usually returns very quickly.

My 2 and 3 year old create so much chaos and my 7yo daughter loves crafting and always leaves an artistic explosion of crap when she’s done.. arrrghh. And weekends are the worst. IMO the only friends I have with 2+ kids who have immaculate houses are neat freaks, very organised and usually minimalists. That’s just not me and that’s ok :D

I always think less stuff & a home for everything seems to be key to having an easier time keeping things clean & tidy. We have a big house but we have so much stuff. Friends I know who have the tidiest homes are all fairly minimalist

Housework is a thankless task. Nobody's house is clean and tidy all the time.

I agree there are always things to do. Currently we need to wash the seat pad covers for the dining chairs, repaint a couple of sections of wall in the kitchen that have marks I can’t wash off, second coat the utility room and gloss the cupboard door in there, treat the lawn with something for the dandelions, dispose of an old wardrobe and a chair, hang pictures and find a home for the hoover that’s easier to access than it’s current one. There are probably other things I’m forgetting.
I’m always adding to the list though and some things have been on there for yonks without getting to them. I just remind myself it’s not the end of the world and enjoy the bits we have finished. I wish I was better at knowing what I wanted to finish things off. I find it’s sometimes easiest to save up a list and get an odd job person in to do a few things all at once.

Iv learned to love my house its the same as yours. It will never be a show home or look put together as we dont have the money and neither dh or myself have any interest in interior design. I used to be embarrassed but now I'm take me as you find me

Sympathies OP, I also live in a not so pretty ex-council house. We moved in over 16 years ago and it need total renovation, we're still not finished! We finally managed to do the bathroom up 18 months ago and that has made a big difference, even our eldest ds had started to feel embarrassed by it so I completely understand how you feel.
We still have lots more to do, though.
Everyone struggles with keeping on top of cleaning & housework but I think it's so much harder when your house is a bit shabby and things need renovating/ replacing. No matter how long you spend cleaning it's never going to look good.
Can you start even a small savings fund and tackle one room at a time?
If the bathroom feels too daunting/ expensive maybe focus on a room that just needs re-decorating and a new piece of furniture. That's what we did a few years ago and it gave us the motivation to tackle bigger projects later on. Plus the joy of having once decent room to relax in, where I wasn't constantly looking at the things that needed to be sorted, can't be underestimated.

'But it's the little stuff that gets left that I'd be looking for someone to do i.e. light fittings, skirting boards, windows, blinds dusting, radiators and doors wiping down etc..'

This is the stuff that makes a house feel slightly grubby but isn't big ticket enough to make an obvious visible difference - I've just spent an hour on the hall, stairs and landing because the bannisters and skirting were dusty, the stair carpet edges were dusty and the light fittings were dusty. The doors all needed a damp wipe, wooden floor edges where the mop/hoover don't reach.

I keep telling myself to set aside a couple of hours a month to do these small, annoying jobs but never stick to it.

I think some of it depends on what you are starting with. It's harder to keep old stuff clean I think.

We do have a cleaner but she just does the basics. So every so often we'll give a room a deep clean - skirting boards, pull out furniture etc.

We also don't have a huge amount of stuff...still a bit too much but we try and not have too much clutter and I love a good tip/charity shop run.

We also had a couple of cupboards built to house stuff when we had some builders in. Good storage you can close the door on is worth investing in.

Also DH is good at stuff like making the sofa look good and hoovering up the cat fur on it. And is generally quite tidy - he leaves the kitchen tidy every night before bed and is just naturally more tidy than I am.

You also probably don't notice it in other people's houses.

3 kids and a dog?! Yeah good luck with that maybe lower your standards 😬

No I don’t feel like that. My house is clean, tidy and not run down despite the kids and I don’t have a cleaner. My partner is very 50/50 and we don’t spend ages cleaning it either.

Also, check out ‘The Organised Mum Method’ on Facebook. It revolves around 30 mins cleaning every day.

The type of cleaning you’re describing is called deep cleaning. You might be better off paying for a whole day’s cleaning, once every three months or so.

It's worth remembering the following:
You see the worst in your own house, the best in others
You often see other's houses after they've had the "pre visit clean".

I remember visiting one friend's house and I made a comment on how she managed to keep the house clean with 2 small kids, and she then did a visual your round the room I was in to see with her eyes, and actually, our houses were pretty similar. Another friend, we went back to her house after a day out and it was like a bomb had gone off. She has excellent taste, and it is beautifully put together, and I'd only ever seen it visitor ready and my first reaction was "OMG, you were telling the truth, your house does look like this sometimes!!"

I can relate though. We have a constant struggle too. I've kind of mildly accepted it.

You have described my house to a T. I ended up getting a cleaner, watching Stacey Solomon and Nick Knowles religiously, getting on Vinted and finally threw in the towel and used a professional decluttering person to help me.

She has completely transformed how we use our kitchen and the kids' playroom and helped me get rid of so much unwanted gear. If you can afford this kind of service, I really recommend it.

I got to the point where I really didn't know where to start and it has helped me feel less stressed and to keep things tidier.

Also, don't compare your house to others'. They may well just have a mad clean up before they have guests.