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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If your kids go to private school how much do you earn?

217 replies

TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:14

Just curious. Dd1's school fees are 12000 a year and our combined annual net house hold income is about 120000. We also have Dd2 whose nursery fees are about 1100 and a mortgage of about 800 a month. We are in the North of England. I wonder how this compares to other parents who send their kids to private school.

Most parents at dd's school are consultant doctors and probably earn substantially more than us. No need for violins by the way. I know we are hugely privileged. I do worry sometimes whether we can afford it and that is probably my aibu.

(We made a snap decision to send DD to private school as she was so unhappy at her local school and back then we thought if we have some disposable income the most sensible thing to spend it on is DD's school If it makes her life a bit easier. ).

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 26/04/2023 08:17

We pay nothing.

Ds was lucky as at the time the school had to take a a percentage of local children to keep their charity status. We anpplied and he got in. They no longer have to do that but the non fee paying kids already in get to stay (right up until they finish their A-Levels) and they don’t pay a single penny towards anything (except trips out). Good for us as I don’t have £10,000 a year to spend on private education.

MintJulia · 26/04/2023 08:17

DS 14, fees are about £18k but I pay half (scholarship.)

I earn £51k. It's a stretch for me but he was utterly miserable at state primary, and is now happy and engaged.

Only another 3 years to pay 😊

VincentVaguer · 26/04/2023 08:13

Pottedpalm · 26/04/2023 07:59

This is unusual I think! Staff discount at the school where I taught is 40%, down from 50% when I first joined.

Yes very unusual and clearly a struggling school. Ours used to give 75% off which was extremely generous, think ita gone down a bit now.

Justalittlebitduckling · 26/04/2023 08:12

This is my plan! Really, free though? Isn’t it normally a reduction of about 30% (which we couldn’t afford by any stretch).

Merryoldgoat · 26/04/2023 08:08

I am an independent school Finance Manager.

The vast majority of our parents are dual income families with both earning over £100k a year each.

We have a significant number of single earning families.

Our fees are £18k

There would not be many who could afford two sets of fees on your income without assistance from family.

Pottedpalm · 26/04/2023 07:59

Daisychained8 · 26/04/2023 06:53

I have two children attending at the moment. I teach in the school so they go for free. A life hack 😂

This is unusual I think! Staff discount at the school where I taught is 40%, down from 50% when I first joined.

justme202 · 26/04/2023 07:54

Incone is same as yours, but we live in (greater) London, so everything is expensive.
2 kids in private school. We don’t have a choice - oldest has significant SENDs which were ignored by state school but does really well in private. The other is a talented ballet dancer which us supported by his private but not in state schools (especially not for a boy).
Once you have SENDs to consider its quite often a choice between private school or giving up on education….

VincentVaguer · 26/04/2023 07:50

Tigofigo · 26/04/2023 07:47

Depends on the school and your priorities... We have schools charging anywhere between 10 and 40k a year near here.

I do wonder what you're spending on if you make 150k with no holidays, one old car and only 16k on nannies! We managed to live like that on 60k. Maybe you're putting a lot in savings.

Yes, we'd be living like kings on 150k a year!

Tigofigo · 26/04/2023 07:47

Didimum · 26/04/2023 07:15

Same. We’re on combined 150k and there’s no way. We have high mortgage, but other than that most outgoings are fairly low - one 15yr old car, never taken the kids on holiday abroad, or gone ourselves in six years now. We have a nanny who costs us 16k a year, but that wouldn’t pay for private school for one, let alone two. We do spend on house renovation, but very piecemeal.

Depends on the school and your priorities... We have schools charging anywhere between 10 and 40k a year near here.

I do wonder what you're spending on if you make 150k with no holidays, one old car and only 16k on nannies! We managed to live like that on 60k. Maybe you're putting a lot in savings.

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:46

BarryStyles · 26/04/2023 07:39

@Emotionalstorm full time in a minimum wage job is over £20k plus employer NI plus pension contributions, and nannies (quite rightly) are paid way over minimum wage. The idea that you’re being “ripped off” for paying over £16k to a f/t employee on a thread with salaries like these being quoted is mind blowing.

I've recently started paying around £25k for a nanny for two days a week. I just wanted to compare that to what others are paying. She is a friend of my mother's so I don't know what is market rate.

VincentVaguer · 26/04/2023 07:43

Less than you - about 85k. Grandparents pay most of the fees and the dcs have had a mix of bursaries and scholarships over the years. It's a fantastic school though and highly regarded, I wouldn't bother if it had been a mediocre private school. If i could do it again I'd have moved nearer a better comp.

Tigofigo · 26/04/2023 07:42

manontroppo · 26/04/2023 07:20

Household income of just under 200k here and we couldn’t afford private for two. Senior schools are around 6k a term here. We made a conscious choice to buy a bigger house rather than private school - we had paid off mortgage in our old house.

I don’t think private is worth 20K a year, and I don’t like the idea of what it would do to the relationship with my children - if I am paying that, I absolutely would feel that I wanted my kids to come out with a string of high grade IYSWIM?

You absolutely could afford it, you choose not to... Which is fine.

PassP0rtquery · 26/04/2023 07:42

Join gross of £140k base with potential for £50k more in bonuses. Large mortgage. It can be a squeeze some months .

BarryStyles · 26/04/2023 07:39

@Emotionalstorm full time in a minimum wage job is over £20k plus employer NI plus pension contributions, and nannies (quite rightly) are paid way over minimum wage. The idea that you’re being “ripped off” for paying over £16k to a f/t employee on a thread with salaries like these being quoted is mind blowing.

Stephhh87 · 26/04/2023 07:32

I know someone who sends their oldest son to private because wasn’t happy at the local.
their other kid goes local and seems happy their so they are keeping him there. It was never the plan to send any private and They couldn’t afford to send them both private but their kids was really unhappy and is thriving now. They both are so they stay in separate school.
it’s fine to go separate schools if your schedules allow it.
We never went private, but as a kid I didn’t go to same school as my sister. Our zones changed and all my corners where going elsewhere so I did too. It was fine :)
my youngest sibling went private because my school went downhill and had such a bad reputation by then. We never really thought about it. We’d all been happy with our schools at the time.
Anyway my point is (if your Schedules allow it) don’t worry about sending your kids to different schools. As long as they are happy where they are they won’t care where their sibling is.

Fudgewomble · 26/04/2023 07:22

Household gross income £360k (but will drop next year) : only really felt comfortable paying fees and also holidays etc once we got to £300. 2 DC

Krystall · 26/04/2023 07:22

TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:32

Our gross is 120k. I always confuse gross and net (looks like I could have benefited from a better education rather than my kids...)

We have the same problem that now that dd1 is going private we will have to send Dd2 as well though I think that Dd2 with her personality would do better at a state school. We are thinking of pushing it out a bit so Dd2 might start (like dd1 did) at our local state and then move in year 3-4 to private... If we can still afford it then.

I don’t have children at private school, but I work in the finance department of a private school. And I do wonder if you have costed this up properly. I don’t think your income supports two children at private school, I would forsee you having to treat your two children very differently, or are going to have to pull the older one out of her private school down the line. 😢

manontroppo · 26/04/2023 07:20

Household income of just under 200k here and we couldn’t afford private for two. Senior schools are around 6k a term here. We made a conscious choice to buy a bigger house rather than private school - we had paid off mortgage in our old house.

I don’t think private is worth 20K a year, and I don’t like the idea of what it would do to the relationship with my children - if I am paying that, I absolutely would feel that I wanted my kids to come out with a string of high grade IYSWIM?

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:17

Didimum · 26/04/2023 07:15

Same. We’re on combined 150k and there’s no way. We have high mortgage, but other than that most outgoings are fairly low - one 15yr old car, never taken the kids on holiday abroad, or gone ourselves in six years now. We have a nanny who costs us 16k a year, but that wouldn’t pay for private school for one, let alone two. We do spend on house renovation, but very piecemeal.

May I ask if your nanny works full time. We pay quite a lot for ours and I just wanted to know if we have been ripped off.

Seaweasel · 26/04/2023 07:15

😅I was eating my breakfast and pondering what a dental income was! My teeth are probably worth a few quid but not enough to put DCs through school!

Didimum · 26/04/2023 07:15

NoviceGardner · 26/04/2023 01:59

Gosh this is an interesting thread. We have a joint income of about 140k (plus bonuses but not sure what they will be yet) and I feel like we could no way afford private school. We have a fairly high mortgage and other outgoings though. Also, we live in an expensive part of the country and private schools near us seem to be particularly expensive.

Same. We’re on combined 150k and there’s no way. We have high mortgage, but other than that most outgoings are fairly low - one 15yr old car, never taken the kids on holiday abroad, or gone ourselves in six years now. We have a nanny who costs us 16k a year, but that wouldn’t pay for private school for one, let alone two. We do spend on house renovation, but very piecemeal.

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:10

Rental *

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:09

Our joint household income is roughly over £2M (excludes profit from investments and dental income). I don't earn that much, it's mainly from my husband who has been quite lucky over the last couple of years (he's best friends with someone who ascended very quickly and took him up the ranks with him). We will be sending our little one to private school in September. She got in the school I wanted her to go to as my first choice and I couldn't be more proud of her. It's only £5.5k per term so I don't think we will make any adjustments. We wouldn't send her to private primary school if we couldn't afford it comfortably.

UnsureSchool32 · 26/04/2023 07:08

Our combined net income is about £110k. But I’m self employed so I take about £50k net as income from my business but I also make additional pension contributions on top but that’s out of my business and separate to the £50k net.

our fees will be c£30k for both (one prep one seniors with a small scholarship).

we pay out of income but have savings. I’ve tried to negotiate paying ahead, school have said that’s fine but we’d have to pay the fee increases.

DIYandEatCake · 26/04/2023 07:02

About 60k before tax. I’m using some savings (I was lucky to inherit the equivalent of 3 years’ school fees), a bit of help from grandparents and we’re living extremely frugally. It’s totally worth it though - dd is autistic and often mute, and was horribly bullied at primary school. She’s thriving at her new school, which is really small and nurturing. I’m currently job-hunting though to try to earn more by the time my younger DS is secondary age in case he wants to to go a private school too.