To have a one night stand?

If we are going to be talking about safety from violence we should note that ONS's are statistically safer than relationships.

2 women a week are murdered by partners or ex partners.

ONS murders are much rarer.

I have a friend who is a builder. Known him for over thirty years. He's always been successful with the ladies...very successful. Lovely guy, very charming, very flirty, good looking and actually a really nice, warm, kind, considerate bloke, funny too. He's 52 now I think...he made a joke about taking visa or vagina the other day which did make me laugh - I think he just feels a bit bad charging after ending up in bed with people which seems to happen with the frequency of a 70s confessions film.

Anyway, if you need a bit of plastering done it's a good alternative to OLD 😁

Go for it.

I've done this a few times between relationships. Sometimes they've turned into a 3 night stand, etc! 😁

It’s worth having a good dig around.

my area doesn’t advertise testing for over 25’s (under 25s get it through SH24) but it’s there as a covid hangover.

We only found out when someone at one of the clubs mentioned it

Re STI testing - depending on your area there are very often free postal tests. They don’t always include oral swabs, but are worth looking at if your local clinics have long waits for appointments. They also tend to set up auto reminders which can be handy.

Not free in mine if you're over 25. It does depend where you are.

If you do go down the swinging club route then tell the staff when you go that it’s your first visit. They’ll give you a tour, and most will also introduce you to regulars if you want.

Re STI testing - depending on your area there are very often free postal tests. They don’t always include oral swabs, but are worth looking at if your local clinics have long waits for appointments. They also tend to set up auto reminders which can be handy.

I was looking at 45-55 (so my age +/- 5.) I did have one guy who claimed to be 54 but on meeting admitted he was 64, but said if he gave his true sge, no one ever matched. Of course, living is so much better... anyway, I'm not sure he's the only one who lied, but that's part of OLD, I think.

It is an age where some of them need to be more careful about sustaining erections and may need chemical assistance, but others are still very strong and sustainable, though perhaps needing more recovery time than a 20yo.

I'm 50. I've had quite a few in the last year. The last one is currently downstairs working, as he has turned into a few months stand.

I went through OLD. There are loads of terrible profiles (how difficult is it to take a decent photo to upload in these days of mobile phones?) If they can't be arsed to put a vaguely decent photo and a couple of lines intro, they're filtering themselves out, and it's a busy marketplace for them. A decent photo of their face also cuts out quite a few of the married ones. You will still get ones who talk about sex a couple of sentences into a chat, but that didn't bother me too much for a ONS; it does bother others, so decide for yourself.

It can get tedious scrolling through crap profile after crap profile, so you have to see it as entertainment and share the worst ones with your friends to laugh at too.

I said I wasn't sure what I was looking for, which many of them interpret as wanting a ONS anyway. (But I genuinely wasn't sure.)

I don't think it matters which site you use - you get a similar mix on all, and exactly the same on some. You will get the married ones, the ones who claim to be in open relationships, the ones who want to try out a new kink and stuff, but there are some decent guys out there in between all the rubbish ones.

It's good to meet for a coffee first - enough time to decide if you want more, but not too long if they turn out to be a weird creep or have bad breath or you just don't have any chemistry.

Hotels are a good idea, particularly with children.

I had an STI test before starting and then tested regularly. IME, men will not mention contraception or testing at all, unless you do, and if they're not insisting on condoms with me, then they're probably not insisting on them with anyone rise, either. Some will claim they can't possibly have sex with a condom, which is fine, they have chosen to get no sex. I have a selection of vibrators. They only get to have sex if it's going to enhance my life.

You may well be ghosted by some. This isn't really a problem with ONSs. Or at least, I went a few weeks before realising I hadn't heard from M or R or whoever, so it was mostly mutual. Some came back more than once. Some wanted to come back, but no thanks.

Swinging is an option - single women are usually very welcome, and no one's ever refused to wear a condom, plus no definitely means no. And if you're in a club there are people around if anything goes wrong (never has IME, but I can't speak for others.) It doesn't suit everyone, though, so don't look into it unless you're interested.
ONSs can be great fun or mediocre, but they've mostly been fun, IME. There are risks, but it's up to you to decide where your boundaries are and what level of risk you will take. I probably take more risks than some would, but I don't have children to consider. One reason the current one is lasting is because when I was coming to his house, he had no concerns about me sharing his address with friends, nor with me checking in with them a couple of times during our time together. If someone wouldn't let me share the address of where we're meeting, that would be a concern. Have fun, be safe.

I had one a couple of weeks ago and I’m a similar age. I went to an event where a musician that I knew was interested in me was playing. Ended up having pretty drunken sex. Felt a little disappointed as I couldn’t really remember it, so invited him back a couple of days later for an hour or so. It was fun.

@PottyMouthkaka you sound very fearful about something quite normal, it’s a little extreme.

OP I hope you get thoroughly and deliciously laid 😄

A one night stand will not cure your horn 😄so what’s your plan after doing the deed with a random bloke?

meet someone in real life. Most Men like Sex.

Jesus Christ. Mumsnet at it's best.

Either get a fun shag like almost the entire world, yay, or go and get infected with Wuhan 2.0 before being chopped into mince by a sex cult of married men who are rubbish in bed.

How dare you imagine a world beyond Barbara Cartland and a five minute finger.

No problem with that either :-) nothing ventured, nothing gained. I suppose there's a thrill in a one night stand.. and you can always repeat it if you both had a good time. As long as you aren't hurting anyone with your actions, which you wouldn't be, then go for it, enjoy your new found freedom. All the best.