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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you sleep with a male partner in women's underwear

231 replies

Saladdressed · 18/04/2023 14:10

Curious because of previous experience! What would you do if your partner said he liked wearing women's underwear (pants/stockings) and wanted to wear during sex? I said no thanks!
IABU - don't care if he wants to wear it/find it sexy

IANBU - keep it for solo wanking/eeeeewwww

OP posts:
ScattyHattie · 18/04/2023 17:03

Maybe if I can wear saggy boxers & he has to find that look sexy. Knicker wedgies must be even worse if your trying to squeeze extra 🍆🍒in there

JudgeRudy · 18/04/2023 17:00

It's not something l've ever been asked to do. I don't think l can give a simple yes or no to. I think I'd be more 'comfortable/open' if it was brought up at the begining of a new relationship when you're feeling passionate. I think if my OH of 10 years asked I'd be a bit disturbed.
It would also depend if it was something they wanted to incorporate into our regular sex life or something we did occasionally.

Madamecastafiore · 18/04/2023 16:50

DH had really bad bleeding piles once, was on holiday, no where near shops so he had to wear a sanitary towels held in place by a pair of my v v tight knickers so didn't get blood on anything. Put me off him for months 🤢

Big fat no from me!

usedtobeasizeten · 18/04/2023 16:47

No.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 18/04/2023 16:46

Hell no not for me but each to their own if that is what they are comfortable with but no one should do something that makes them uncomfortable.

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:40

Lockheart · 18/04/2023 16:24

What makes wearing lingerie unhealthy? I imagine most people on here have dressed up in lingerie at one point or another.

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When it becomes ‘about’ the lingerie.

girlfriend44 · 18/04/2023 16:38

Saladdressed · 18/04/2023 14:18

I'm not new! Name changed, but more interested in a broad range of experiences. Rightly or wrongly I'm not sure the sex topic would give me a representative answer!

Plus- I don't want to debate it, just wanted to know what people thought.

Why, what does it matter what we think.
I've never met a weirdo whose asked me this.

What is the obsession with men wearing underwear for women
Literally only seen it on here. Nobody has ever discussed it. It makes me feel ick. Wish it would stop being mentioned. It ain't normal.

Noicant · 18/04/2023 16:36

Nah men actually just don’t look good in that kind of thing (to me anyway). Would just find it a bit ridiculous rather than appealing.

TedMullins · 18/04/2023 16:29

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:18

Fetishes are dysfunctional.

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no…they’re not. Harmful fetishes might be but like most things it’s not black and white, there’s a big difference between someone with an addiction or paraphilia and a guy who occasionally likes to put on a bra. I don’t think shaming anyone who’s into anything that deviates from missionary with the lights off is helpful or positive.

schnubbins · 18/04/2023 16:27

My DH in granny knickers .Now that would be hilarious!

Lockheart · 18/04/2023 16:24

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:13

The thing is, sexual dysfunction has a spectrum that goes from ‘not everyone’s cup of tea’ down to the ‘illegal, cruel and dangerous’.

People who are on that spectrum of sexual dysfunction love to berate sexually healthy people for being prudish or for ‘shaming’.

Its normal to feel fear, revulsion and disgust about unhealthy sexuality.

Normal people aren’t prudes and we don’t have to pretend not to feel fear and revulsion to make dysfunctional people feel better.

What makes wearing lingerie unhealthy? I imagine most people on here have dressed up in lingerie at one point or another.

Proudofitbabe · 18/04/2023 16:24

No 🤢

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:21

I actually know of a situation the other way around with the sexes, where the woman is into all the paraphernalia, and the bloke feels sidelined while she gets off on the gear.

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:18

TedMullins · 18/04/2023 16:17

Good grief. It’s not “dysfunctional” if a man likes to wear knickers or stockings in bed. It might not be your cup of tea but that doesn’t make it inherently wrong or unhealthy.

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Fetishes are dysfunctional.

TedMullins · 18/04/2023 16:17

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:13

The thing is, sexual dysfunction has a spectrum that goes from ‘not everyone’s cup of tea’ down to the ‘illegal, cruel and dangerous’.

People who are on that spectrum of sexual dysfunction love to berate sexually healthy people for being prudish or for ‘shaming’.

Its normal to feel fear, revulsion and disgust about unhealthy sexuality.

Normal people aren’t prudes and we don’t have to pretend not to feel fear and revulsion to make dysfunctional people feel better.

Good grief. It’s not “dysfunctional” if a man likes to wear knickers or stockings in bed. It might not be your cup of tea but that doesn’t make it inherently wrong or unhealthy.

Verv · 18/04/2023 16:15

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:13

The thing is, sexual dysfunction has a spectrum that goes from ‘not everyone’s cup of tea’ down to the ‘illegal, cruel and dangerous’.

People who are on that spectrum of sexual dysfunction love to berate sexually healthy people for being prudish or for ‘shaming’.

Its normal to feel fear, revulsion and disgust about unhealthy sexuality.

Normal people aren’t prudes and we don’t have to pretend not to feel fear and revulsion to make dysfunctional people feel better.

Nothing removes a boundary like pressure.

WaltzingWaters · 18/04/2023 16:14

Big no from me. Each to their own and all. But a turn off for me.

ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:13

The thing is, sexual dysfunction has a spectrum that goes from ‘not everyone’s cup of tea’ down to the ‘illegal, cruel and dangerous’.

People who are on that spectrum of sexual dysfunction love to berate sexually healthy people for being prudish or for ‘shaming’.

Its normal to feel fear, revulsion and disgust about unhealthy sexuality.

Normal people aren’t prudes and we don’t have to pretend not to feel fear and revulsion to make dysfunctional people feel better.

Peapodburgundybouquet · 18/04/2023 16:11

Hard no.

CuriousMoo · 18/04/2023 16:10

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Saladdressed · 18/04/2023 16:08

CuriousMoo · 18/04/2023 16:05

I think therapy might be a better recovery tool than AIBU.

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A key tool in CBT is looking for evidence why your negative automatic thought is wrong.

In this case my NAT is I'm a prude (years of conditioning) I'm here looking for evidence

Why are you so offended by the topic? The only people bringing up trans are you and your friend calling me a transphobe for no reason at all.....

OP posts:
CuriousMoo · 18/04/2023 16:05

Saladdressed · 18/04/2023 16:04

Errrm, I already explained this
Like lots of posters, I use MN for support. I'm pretty traumatised by various aspects of this relationship, I can't talk to my friends or family about it ut ex really got in my head with his "you are a prude" chat.

All I wanted to know was if others would respond the same to give me perspective. Given current votes, I feel much better.

Show quote history

I think therapy might be a better recovery tool than AIBU.

Original poster
Saladdressed · 18/04/2023 16:04

Tandora · 18/04/2023 16:01

Why? Your preferences are yours. Other people are theirs. Who cares if you are in the majority ? Or is it just so you can gang up with a group of others and pour scorn on those who are different to you? 🤢
(The fact that you’ve gone for something with a queer/ gender-variant undertone is even more shitty/ predictable given the current climate).

Show quote history

Errrm, I already explained this
Like lots of posters, I use MN for support. I'm pretty traumatised by various aspects of this relationship, I can't talk to my friends or family about it ut ex really got in my head with his "you are a prude" chat.

All I wanted to know was if others would respond the same to give me perspective. Given current votes, I feel much better.

OP posts:
CuriousMoo · 18/04/2023 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ahh, here we are, back here again. Apparently no cis women support their trans sisters, and we're all just men instead.

mushroommummy · 18/04/2023 16:02

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