Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you sleep with a male partner in women's underwear

231 replies

Saladdressed · 18/04/2023 14:10

Curious because of previous experience! What would you do if your partner said he liked wearing women's underwear (pants/stockings) and wanted to wear during sex? I said no thanks!
IABU - don't care if he wants to wear it/find it sexy

IANBU - keep it for solo wanking/eeeeewwww

OP posts:
Beargrumps22 · 06/01/2024 17:03

each to their own etc etc but no from me. i have known someone into this but it made me feel a bit ick

aurynne · 06/01/2024 03:15

A man in women's clothing, including underwear, would be a massive turnoff for me, so I simply wouldn't sleep with them because they would not be my partner in any case.

Fairylightfurore · 06/01/2024 01:35

No because it would be a massive turn off for me.

EdinGirl · 05/01/2024 01:09

No. Instant turn off.

But I know some women who genuinely don't mind and/or think it's hot.

I also know one or two that have agreed due to pressure of "shaming gender expression" 🙄

JMSA · 05/01/2024 00:57

Nope.

Universalsnail · 05/01/2024 00:29

I wouldn't have a problem with this. I don't know her prob look quite hot in stockings. Probably find a bra a bit weird but if it turned him on and he was clearly enjoying it and it wasn't every time we had sex I would be fine with it.

CandleInAJamJar · 05/01/2024 00:17

The last thing I want to do when I go to bed is start wrestling my undies back off my bloke, so no.

SideEyeSally · 05/01/2024 00:07

When I was younger I briefly worked in a costume shop- packaged halloween outfits, cheap wigs, Leg Avenue sets etc. One afternoon an older man came up to the counter to ask me to help him. He picked out a wig and stockings and other lingerie bits. He was visibly, agitatedly excited about it -litterly drooling out the corners of his mouth. I, trying to make small talk, asked if he had a lot of wigs. He told me that no he didn't since his wife wasn't into 'all that stuff' but she had died yesterday so now he could. I still think about that poor women and the fact that her husband was happily rubbing one out in tacky stockings and a cheap wig before she was even in the ground.

Falkenburg · 04/01/2024 23:36

MintIceo · 18/04/2023 14:31

Not if it was every time we had sex. I do quite enjoy pegging and "emasculating" men to some degree, so every now and then I wouldn't mind the women's underwear, it would add something to the domination.

I had to google 'pegging' as my innocent mind envisaged your foreplay as you making him hang out the washing.

Falkenburg · 04/01/2024 23:34

Personally I would find the sight of a man in my bed wearing women's lingerie and stockings a complete turn off. My laughter would quickly turn to revulsion.

Saladdressed · 04/01/2024 22:52

How the heck did this get dragged up? Were people googling Tim Curry?

OP posts:
OliveToboogie · 04/01/2024 22:49

Tom Hardy or Tim Curry hell yeah

Tacotortoise · 04/01/2024 22:45

Dh no. Tim Curry c1974, hell yes.

BCBird · 04/01/2024 22:43

NOPE

ClumsyCat · 21/04/2023 23:46

I wanted to add something about @Qbish’s post about Tom Holland doing his lip sync to Rihanna’s Umbrella.

I have never thought of TH as sexy - he looks about 12 years old to me, though I think he does seem sexy in that video. It has nothing to do with his supposed cross-dressing. He is showing off how strong, fit and agile he is and by parading his male body around, inviting the onlooker to objectify him in his moves and also because of the skimpiness of the outfit. I didn’t think he looked remotely feminine in it or as though he was wearing women’s clothes - I forgot that it was supposed to be drag. It is also attractive that he is demonstrating that he is single-minded and determined when he sets his mind to something - he put everything into that performance.

It is depressing that within British culture, if a man shows off in that sexually provocative way, he is automatically perceived to have ‘crossed over’ to a female gender role. It suggests that being objectified + sexualised = being female. It’s sexist.

His performance is a world away from a bloke getting off on wearing women’s underwear - spatchcocked balls, etc.

Saladdressed · 21/04/2023 21:46

BenCoopersSupportWren · 21/04/2023 18:37

No, and I’m neither a prude nor a pearl clutcher, I think Tim Curry in Rocky Horror is fabulous, have been to RH myself many times, have had more than one crush on a man in eyeliner, think men should be free to wear what they like day to day, and I don’t mind playing a dominant role in the bedroom at times. But men wearing women’s lingerie for sexual thrills is a red line for me, it invokes a real visceral reaction that many other kinks don’t, and it would be a deal breaker in a relationship. I don’t know exactly why it repulses me so much, maybe because I’ve seen too much evidence of it escalating so that it’s very much a fetish not a kink, as a PP so accurately summarised, and the harm that can do (transwidows threads), and because it often seems to go hand in hand with other paraphilias. In a previous life I had a job which occasionally involved having to read print-offs from porn chat sites when they were being used as evidence, and there’s only so much “sissy porn” and “secret cross dresser meeting other men while ‘en femme’ and the wife is away” [and thereby putting her sexual health at risk] descriptions you can read before you form a somewhat jaded and negative view of that particular kink/fetish.

Thank you for this post
I think this is why I've been struggling, I'm generally pretty broad minded and up for trying stuff but the underwear thing is not for me

OP posts:
BenCoopersSupportWren · 21/04/2023 18:37

No, and I’m neither a prude nor a pearl clutcher, I think Tim Curry in Rocky Horror is fabulous, have been to RH myself many times, have had more than one crush on a man in eyeliner, think men should be free to wear what they like day to day, and I don’t mind playing a dominant role in the bedroom at times. But men wearing women’s lingerie for sexual thrills is a red line for me, it invokes a real visceral reaction that many other kinks don’t, and it would be a deal breaker in a relationship. I don’t know exactly why it repulses me so much, maybe because I’ve seen too much evidence of it escalating so that it’s very much a fetish not a kink, as a PP so accurately summarised, and the harm that can do (transwidows threads), and because it often seems to go hand in hand with other paraphilias. In a previous life I had a job which occasionally involved having to read print-offs from porn chat sites when they were being used as evidence, and there’s only so much “sissy porn” and “secret cross dresser meeting other men while ‘en femme’ and the wife is away” [and thereby putting her sexual health at risk] descriptions you can read before you form a somewhat jaded and negative view of that particular kink/fetish.

Riapia · 21/04/2023 18:03

Would you sleep with a male partner in women's underwear

No I never wear any underwear in bed either male or female.

Mrsmarpleisonthecase · 21/04/2023 17:46

Definitely not, I like a man to be a man and couldn’t take him seriously in a pair of knickers and bra

summerpoolandsun · 21/04/2023 17:38

But I’m judging anyone for what they want to do… each to their own

summerpoolandsun · 21/04/2023 17:38

Oh I’m confused by this one, I thought you meant would I wear underwear to have sex with DH and that is kinda fun. But if you mean would I sleep with DH if he wore womens underwear then to be honest id find that repulsive….

Weallgottachangesometime · 19/04/2023 21:42

Qbish · 19/04/2023 20:32

And I find it odd that people judge women and men who like to do it.

No really need to for anyone to judge. Let people do what they want so long as it isn’t harmful to anyone.

Weallgottachangesometime · 19/04/2023 21:40

BMW6 · 19/04/2023 20:49

Are there blokes out there who are turned on by their gf or wife wearing his Y fronts?

Are there women here who secretly slip on their blokes Y fronts and are aroused by it?

I discount boxers, cos they are just shorts. Not particularly masculine.

I suppose there’s that women in men’s white work shirt thing. That seems to be considered sexy doesn’t it.

Comeonskinnylove · 19/04/2023 21:19

No. Wouldn't even date someone who I knew was into that.

romdowa · 19/04/2023 21:11

If my dh said that I'd probably break a rib laughing at him

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.