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Original poster

To think family court can't be THAT bad?

207 replies

RabbitWarrren · 09/04/2023 17:44

I have gone down a rabbit hole of threads on here and Twitter accounts of women fighting to get their kids back after abusive and/or rich men have got full custody or majority custody. Some truly awful stories

Am I being a total cow to think there must be more to it? Loving, caring, devoted mothers losing their kids to men who have criminal records? Or even just losing their kids entirely to men who never lifted a finger before?

I don't mean that these stories aren't horrific and unjust. But just that it must be something must be more complex for a mum to lose their kids?

Am I being naive? Victim blaming? Is the family court system really that criminal?

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 09/04/2023 19:37

It's not fun. :-(

Wittow · 09/04/2023 19:36

There's no way anyone would get away with actual assault in a courtroom.

Family Court is fair, in my professional experience. With children's welfare as the "paramount principle" determining decisions. But, it's not a beauty contest. Good enough parenting is good enough.

SmokyForTheWin · 09/04/2023 19:34

If I'd known before I started how bad family court is, I would have stayed unhappily married. Anything is better than this.

Original poster
RabbitWarrren · 09/04/2023 19:31

Oh god. I'm so sorry @LpPp that is absolutely horrendous. Absolutely awful. I really hope things get much better for you and your kids.

I just can't get my head round it.

My DH is disrespectful, sulky and takes me for granted. I can't stand the thought of being married to him. But I feel like I'm throwing my small kids to the wolves because I know he's got it in him to use them against me and seek revenge.

I can't believe women and children are trapped, whether they leave or not.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 09/04/2023 18:46

I'm in Ireland, not the UK.
But I think if you've never experience family law proceedings, then you cannot imagine how destructive, unfair & prejudiced they can be.

I think the situation here might not be quite as bad - but it's not good. Especially for situations regarding abuse. The system is set up to facilitate men who want to perpetuate abuse of their ex / children via the courts.

LpPp · 09/04/2023 18:32

It really is that bad.
Contact centres are even worse! You would not believe it unless you’ve been dragged into the top secret world of family court.

Its horrendous.

for context- my abusive ex launched himself across the table at me IN THE COURT ROOM AT A HEARING and smacked me across the head. Then he went downstairs and attacked the security guard and my dad. The consequence? Absolutely nothing. At the next hearing they just carried on as if it didn’t happen.

my children were lied to to get them into a contact centre, by being told he wasn’t in there. When they realised he was in there they wouldn’t let them out. My eldest (9 at the time) physically fought the staff to get her and her sister (7) out of there. The manager told me to force them to go back in or she would tell the court to do a section 37 to start looking to take them into care.

Hotvimto3 · 09/04/2023 18:23

Its worse than bad. Actually unbelievable. Doesn't put childrens safety first and is all geared up to the Dads 'rights'. Its un utterly unprofessional and dangerous institution.