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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

467 replies

MusicLass · 09/04/2023 06:44

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

OP posts:

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Lex345 · 09/04/2023 07:20

Love a good soup-I would probably be after your recipes!

Although a bit of context would help-if you are inviting people around for a dinner party, soup is probably a bit under doing it, even if it is homemade. I would serve it to family as a "normal" meal though.

Mirabai · 09/04/2023 07:19

He should be cooking obviously.

If it was an informal lunch with friends then soup, cold meat, cheese and salad would be fine. But for dinner it’s odd. You just as well make a casserole - whether meat or vegetable - like soups they can be cooked in advance and reheated.

UseOfWeapons · 09/04/2023 07:19

Lunch or dinner, I love soup, especially when someone has made it themselves! You’d be my perfect host. If you need a very appreciative guest, I’m available!

AliceTheeCamel · 09/04/2023 07:19

I would be putting DH on kitchen duty for guests from now on. Definitely saves his 'embarrasment'

But I do agree there might be a cultural element. I think soup is considered a starter in Mediterranean countries like Spain/Italy.

Agree with pp that it's ok to serve guests soup for lunch, but not dinner (unless it's the starter)

PoseyFlump · 09/04/2023 07:18

I'm always annoyed with myself when guests are too full from a big lunch to taste a dessert I've spent ages making. Soup sounds a great idea if you have a lovely pudding lined up! (Especially with homemade bread 😋)

Minierme · 09/04/2023 07:16

I think he has a point although any decent friend would just enjoy the soup. But yeah probably would be unexpected.

Biscuitlover456 · 09/04/2023 07:15

Easily fixed: get him to make food when you have guests over and that way he never again has to suffer the embarrassment of serving them delicious soup for lunch and possibly also dinner! You monster 😂

YellowGreenBlue · 09/04/2023 07:15

Lunch - lovely.
Dinner - great as a starter, I would be a bit surprised if this was the main dish.

HomeTheatreSystem · 09/04/2023 07:14

I'm with your DH on this. I love a hearty home made soup but it's a zero effort meal to serve and however tasty it was, I'd be underwhelmed by your efforts. It's also a bowl of stuff that tastes the same. With a meal at least there is usually a variety of flavours on the plate.

RedRobyn2021 · 09/04/2023 07:13

Trainstrike · 09/04/2023 07:03

Does his penis stop him from providing food for guests?

This too

RedRobyn2021 · 09/04/2023 07:13

My mum makes us soup for lunch every time we go to her house and my DD who is 2 goes on and on about "nanny's soup"

It's actually really lovely

Have you tried making courgette and Brie? Or asparagus soup? Those are definitely my favourites, lovely 😋

It could be to do with his culture, I have to admit I wouldn't normally eat soup for dinner.

Snoken · 09/04/2023 07:09

I think soup is lovely for either lunch or dinner. If I serve soup for dinner for friends it is usually something like a clam chowder, mulligatawny or a shellfish and saffron one.

Zanatdy · 09/04/2023 07:08

Nothing wrong with soup for lunch for guests, with some bread. I personally wouldn’t expect to have soup for an evening meal if I was invited for dinner (evening meal, I know some people call lunch dinner) and I wouldn’t serve soup for dinner

Ktime · 09/04/2023 07:07

First response nailed it. Why won’t he cook it himself?

Totalwasteofpaper · 09/04/2023 07:07

As a Starter - yes
As dinner - no.

As lunch - yes with a nice sandwich, no if just bread.

Xarrie · 09/04/2023 07:07

I wouldn't serve guests just soup for any meal. I'm not a fan really.

MIL insists hers is incredible. It's really not.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 09/04/2023 07:06

I’d happily have that for lunchtime meal but not dinner.

thegrain · 09/04/2023 07:05

He should do the cooking or shut up

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 09/04/2023 07:04

What an awesome thing to give a guest, I'd love that and would appreciate it far more than pasta and rice based dishes which often are high on carbs and low on quality nutrients (which is fine for a basic quick tea, but I wouldn't give it to a guest). For dinner it might need some other nibbles to add like a smorgasbord or cheeses.
Love a homemade soup!

Attictroll · 09/04/2023 07:03

Would only serve to guests as lunch but with some fab bread and maybe cheese. For dinner not really - but would depend a lot on situation- family popping over yes

Trainstrike · 09/04/2023 07:03

Does his penis stop him from providing food for guests?

Doingmybest12 · 09/04/2023 07:03

I would be happy with a homemade soup for lunch. I do it with bread and cheese or garlic bread with cheese . OK also for a quick informal tea but not for a proper dinner for guests.

Aprilx · 09/04/2023 07:02

I would only serve to guests at dinner as a starter. At lunch I would only do one course, so no I don’t think I would serve just soup. I would have it myself for lunch, but I would offer guests more, no matter how good or home made it is. I think it is a bit embarrassing to be honest, although if your husband feels that way, he can always cook himself.

unkownone · 09/04/2023 07:01

Soup anytime is good. I’d be happy lunch or dinner. Dinner you don’t need heavy meals anyway.

Wilkolampshade · 09/04/2023 07:00

Lovely for lunch - really lovely with bread and cheese. But not for dinner no. I've not really thought about why before, so it's interesting. But in some weird way it's not formal enough? Too much risk of dribbling and sploshing? (or is that just me and my guests?) and I don't have 'formal' dinner parties either - just friends and wine... Oddly also I don't consider whether the food is particularly nutritious on these occasions. Just damn tasty and celebratory in quantity and style. Soup doesn't seem celebratory to me.

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