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Original poster

Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

467 replies

MusicLass · 09/04/2023 06:44

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelingsā€¦

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying itā€™s not proper food and itā€™s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someoneā€™s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when itā€™s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. Heā€™s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

OP posts:
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9
TheChosenTwo · 09/04/2023 09:24

Well Iā€™d be disappointed because I really
donā€™t like soup (I would eat it but Iā€™d not enjoy it at all), but Iā€™m presumably there for your company so it wouldnā€™t ruin my day!!
Iā€™d presume you werenā€™t confident in the kitchen as soup is very low effort and mostly a low cost way of using up leftovers.
Weā€™ve never had anyone round for lunch and served up soup and bread, nor have we been invited anywhere and served the same.

turtlemurtle1982 · 09/04/2023 09:24

Soup for lunch is perfect. For dinner I would have it as a starter and then a proper meal.

OrigamiOwls · 09/04/2023 09:24

I'm not a soup fan so wouldn't be keen. A soup could be okay for a lunch, I would be surprised to be served it as the main at dinner.

RampantIvy · 09/04/2023 09:23

So you don't like casseroles, curries, dahl or any other similar textured foods either @bellac? Or gravy on your roast or with sausage and mash?

JustDanceAddict · 09/04/2023 09:22

I have done soup and nice bread and cheese/hummus/salad for a friend coming for a casual lunch but not for dinner.
I appreciate minestrone can be a meal in itself so therefore fine for lunch, but not enough at dinner if thatā€™s your main meal.

WilsonMilson · 09/04/2023 09:22

Soup is perfect for lunch, Iā€™d be very happy to be served that. If your husband has an issue, perhaps he can cook.

CantFindTheBeat · 09/04/2023 09:22

What part does your DH play in planning & prep for the guests, OP?

If you have equal roles (rolls - hahahaha!) including tidying, etc, then I think you should make something you both agree on.

If you do all the planning, prep and tidying, then you choose what you want!

AllOfThemWitches · 09/04/2023 09:22

I'd be disappointed with a soup lunch.

Schmutter · 09/04/2023 09:21

As a starter or lunch, it would be ok. Not otherwise.

diddl · 09/04/2023 09:21

Who are the guests & what's the context?

If I was invited specifically for lunch than I'd probably be expecting something more.

If I happened to be there & asked to stay for lunch then whatever is being served.

Nanaof1 · 09/04/2023 09:21

UseOfWeapons · 09/04/2023 07:19

Lunch or dinner, I love soup, especially when someone has made it themselves! Youā€™d be my perfect host. If you need a very appreciative guest, Iā€™m available!

Me too!
I now feel like a horrible person because my family gets fed soup and rolls for a whole meal, with salad if they wish. Perhaps because my soup ends up being very thick and stew like, it fills everyone up just fine. If I am eating at someone else's home, I am happy just to be able to not be the one cooking and will love pretty much anything served. I was going to say "anything served I would like; until I remembered that I watch "Chopped" (US cooking show) and they have used some things I don't think I could get through. Cow eyes, intestines, stomach, goat heads.......šŸ˜³šŸ˜¬šŸ˜±

thegrain · 09/04/2023 09:21

SoggyPigeon · 09/04/2023 09:20

For a light lunch it would be fine, if you had a cheese board to go with it and maybe some hummus. But not for dinner. Only as a starter. I like soup but I would be a bit disappointed if I was invited for dinner and got soup and bread.

Soup and hummus?!!

bellac11 · 09/04/2023 09:20

RampantIvy · 09/04/2023 09:12

My late MIL used to make some amazing, and very filling, soups.

I can only think the negative posters on this thread have only eaten the kind of soup you would get as a starter (which would be thinner and less filling), and not had a main meal thick and chunky soup which is more like a stew than a soup.

Not in my case, you and another poster are assuming we who dont like soup are talking about thin or thinner soups. Im not, I dont like soup of any kind, I will eat it under sufferance but I dont like liquid foods and foods that are half liquid half solid are even worse.

I have in the past made an exception for cullen skink, while in Scotland but thats my limit.

SoggyPigeon · 09/04/2023 09:20

For a light lunch it would be fine, if you had a cheese board to go with it and maybe some hummus. But not for dinner. Only as a starter. I like soup but I would be a bit disappointed if I was invited for dinner and got soup and bread.

MoreSleepPleasee · 09/04/2023 09:19

I'd expect soup to be a starter and followed by something else.

Rewis · 09/04/2023 09:18

Ffs. This site is jumping all over the place. In my culture soup is very much a lunch food. Plfor guests you pimp it out with fresh bread, fancy butter. Maybe some extras to the soup cheese/parsley oil or whatever goes with it. Defo a good thing to serve!

ChrisPPancake · 09/04/2023 09:17

For lunch as a meal with fresh bread yes it's fine. I'd definitely judge you if you invited me to dinner and I only got soup though.

Mirabai · 09/04/2023 09:17

Snoken · 09/04/2023 09:01

I think people who are saying itā€™s a cheap and low-effort meal has a very limited view of soup. The one I make which is a creamy saffron and shellfish soup has 16 ingredients including saffron, mussels, crayfish, prawns, lobster and lobster stock. It takes longer than making a seafood pasta or risotto and is more expensive than most meals I make. That served with levain bread is delicious and very filling.

I eat and make homemade soup all the time. There are some fantastic soups - and chicken or seafood soup would cover the protein angle. But OP is making vegetable, lentil and minestrone soup.

Dustyblue · 09/04/2023 09:17

Snoken · 09/04/2023 09:01

I think people who are saying itā€™s a cheap and low-effort meal has a very limited view of soup. The one I make which is a creamy saffron and shellfish soup has 16 ingredients including saffron, mussels, crayfish, prawns, lobster and lobster stock. It takes longer than making a seafood pasta or risotto and is more expensive than most meals I make. That served with levain bread is delicious and very filling.

That almost made me faint with desire. If someone fed that to me at any meal I'd be praising them for life.

Favouritefruits · 09/04/2023 09:17

Soup is a nice lunch but I kind of agree with not serving soup as an evening meal, itā€™s ok as a starter but if you invite people around I think it needs to be more than a bowl of soup.

FluffMagnet · 09/04/2023 09:17

Honestly? I hate most soups, especially anything "chunky". I would eat a bowl to be polite but only a tiny portion so would be starving afterwards. There is also rarely enough protein to keep me full. With soups, everything tastes of the same flavour, so if your guests don't like that flavour, they're stuck. Lunch - well in the UK light lunches are the norm. For dinner with expected guests? Only ok as a starter.

user1492757084 · 09/04/2023 09:16

If I were to be your guest, that would suit me brilliantly.

I LOVE soup. I love breads and butter with soup. If a main evening meal perhaps adding a salad or savoury muffin and some cheese afterwards.

The other reason, apart from taste, why I love soup is that it is not showy or hard to recipricate that simple meal. I feel confident to invite those people to mine. (I am not a good cook and I would ruin expensive ingredients.)

To wish to enjoy the company of friends rather than slave away in the kitchen is smart thinking.

Stravaig · 09/04/2023 09:16

Sending a big bowl of love to my fellow soup aficionados, there are some wonderful recipes here x

Rewis · 09/04/2023 09:16

In my culture soup is very much a lunch food. For

RampantIvy · 09/04/2023 09:12

My late MIL used to make some amazing, and very filling, soups.

I can only think the negative posters on this thread have only eaten the kind of soup you would get as a starter (which would be thinner and less filling), and not had a main meal thick and chunky soup which is more like a stew than a soup.

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