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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

467 replies

MusicLass · 09/04/2023 06:44

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelingsā€¦

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying itā€™s not proper food and itā€™s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someoneā€™s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when itā€™s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. Heā€™s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

OP posts:
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9
EmmaEmerald · 09/04/2023 10:20

My sister, who is very slim and has hollow legs, would probably order in food if you gave her soup for lunch, and she doesn't eat bread except as a rare treat.

Didimum · 09/04/2023 10:18

If I was invited to someoneā€™s for dinner and was served soup, Iā€™d be a little surprised, but wouldnā€™t say anything - itā€™s nice to be cooked for whatever it is. Lunch absolutely fine.

turnthetoiletpaperroundproperly · 09/04/2023 10:18

Sorry OP I agree with your husband,

BungleandGeorge · 09/04/2023 10:15

It would be fine as lunch for me but I doubt itā€™s enough for someone taller/ larger. Itā€™s fine as a starter for dinner but really not a main meal. If you want something quick and easy maybe a casserole/ chilli type dish?

Iris1976 · 09/04/2023 10:13

Lunch- absolutely fine.
Dinner-definitely not.

grumpycow1 · 09/04/2023 10:11

Soup for lunch with lovely bread and maybe some nibbles - lovely!

soup for dinner - would expect that as a starter but not main course.

but agree if he doesnā€™t like it - he can cook!

dew141 · 09/04/2023 10:06

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 09/04/2023 10:01

Now I really need to make some white onion soup!

The Ivy one is amazing but I've never been able to recreate it. So smooth and tasty (and opaque, not like brown onion soup). Served with crispy bacon bits. We were gutted when they took it off the menu. You might have to post a photo so I can vicariously enjoy it.

Give me that over chunky 'filling' soups every time.

EmmaEmerald · 09/04/2023 10:06

Do you say "come over, I'll do lunch" and give soup? That's pretty bad.

slowquickstep · 09/04/2023 10:04

Why isn't he cooking for guests ?

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 09/04/2023 10:01

Now I really need to make some white onion soup!

idiotmagnet · 09/04/2023 09:54

I would love it if someone offered me homemade soup for lunch! Especially if there was nice bread with it.

HamstersAreMyLife · 09/04/2023 09:50

I do soup for lunch for guests and for us at dinner but would do something more carby for dinner with guests. My husband is also mediterranean and it's taken 20 years for him to reach acceptance that soup is an accepted meal, in his country its a starter only

TheChosenTwo · 09/04/2023 09:49

@Fairislefandango i donā€™t think op is a chef. Mostly people that make soup at home are not chefs working in top kitchens in their jobs. Op made some lentil soup. Itā€™s a cheap and easy soup to make.

EL8888 · 09/04/2023 09:47

Reallybadidea · 09/04/2023 06:46

He can cook then if it bothers him

Exactly! I would like to be served homemade soup if l went to someoneā€™s house šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø. Last time we went to someoneā€™s house for dinner they made soup and it was super tasty

Snoken · 09/04/2023 09:46

Brefugee · 09/04/2023 09:07

that sounds amazing, care to share the recipe?

I think there are a lot of unimaginative posters here, especially the ones going on about minima effort (getting it out of the freezer. Presumably at some point someone had to make it...)

Also I'm surprised at the people wondering why so many answers are "well he can cook" - it seems obvious. If DH wants something other than soup, and OP has planned soup - he can cook something else or shut his yap and be grateful someone cooked something for him (which is, from the OP, not an Oliver Twist style watery gruel)

Show quote history

I only have the recipe in Swedish in a magazine but itā€™s similar to this one: https://www.sourdoughandolives.com/2017/03/30/fish-soup-saffron/

I use white wine and peas in mine too and some fresh dill before serving.

Fish soup with saffron - Sourdough&Olives

This fish soup with saffron and flavors of Provence is a real crowd pleaser. Serve with some aioli and a piece of your favorite sourdough bread.

https://www.sourdoughandolives.com/2017/03/30/fish-soup-saffron/

Mirabai · 09/04/2023 09:37

thegrain · 09/04/2023 09:30

That's not a soup lunch then? It's some sort of dip based meal with soup.

Show quote history

I would always serve the types of soup OP describes to guests with cold meat, cheeses and salad. Some people, particularly men, would not be full on soup and bread unless it was a chicken or seafood, or Asian soup with meat and eggs etc.

I make lot of soups myself because I WFH as theyā€™re quick and easy to make and eat but I wouldnā€™t serve them to guests on their own.

InSpainTheRain · 09/04/2023 09:35

Soup and bread for la light unch is fine. Soup as the first course of a dinner/Sunday lunch is fine. I wouldn't serve soup as a main fir dinner though.

Mirabai · 09/04/2023 09:31

Fairislefandango · 09/04/2023 09:29

Iā€™d presume you werenā€™t confident in the kitchen as soup is very low effort and mostly a low cost way of using up leftovers.

Nonsense. There are millions of recipes for soup. They call for specific ingredients, not leftovers. Chefs make soup in top restaurants. Do you think they are lacking confidence in the kitchen?

No I think thatā€™s a fair assumption. There are some very complicated soups, but OP refers to vegetable and lentil soups which are piss easy to make.

thegrain · 09/04/2023 09:30

NurseCranesRolodex · 09/04/2023 09:27

Love a soup lunch! If guests involved I'd toast a bunch of pitta, slice into smaller bits, shove a couple of tubs of hummus into a bowl with topping of pesto and olive oil, jar of roasted peppers on a plate, another dippy thing like aubergine or tzatziki, an easy salad bowl and a few bits of cheese. It's a meal in my opinion and guests appreciate the simplicity.

That's not a soup lunch then? It's some sort of dip based meal with soup.

Fairislefandango · 09/04/2023 09:29

Iā€™d presume you werenā€™t confident in the kitchen as soup is very low effort and mostly a low cost way of using up leftovers.

Nonsense. There are millions of recipes for soup. They call for specific ingredients, not leftovers. Chefs make soup in top restaurants. Do you think they are lacking confidence in the kitchen?

NurseCranesRolodex · 09/04/2023 09:27

Love a soup lunch! If guests involved I'd toast a bunch of pitta, slice into smaller bits, shove a couple of tubs of hummus into a bowl with topping of pesto and olive oil, jar of roasted peppers on a plate, another dippy thing like aubergine or tzatziki, an easy salad bowl and a few bits of cheese. It's a meal in my opinion and guests appreciate the simplicity.

bellac11 · 09/04/2023 09:27

RampantIvy · 09/04/2023 09:23

So you don't like casseroles, curries, dahl or any other similar textured foods either @bellac? Or gravy on your roast or with sausage and mash?

Yes I make all of those very thick and dry, dont like runny ness. I never have gravy.

Fairislefandango · 09/04/2023 09:27

Some of these responses are actually irrelevant to the 'is soup an acceptable thing to serve?' question imo.

'No it's awful' - this is just an individual taste response and could apply to any dish. Some people think pasta is awful or roasts are awful.

'Maybe the OP doesn't make good soup' - again, this could apply to any dish.

'The English don't make good soup' - Hmm just not enough eye rolls for this one.

I love soup and make some fantastic ones. I'd serve it to guests for lunch with other stuff, but probably not for dinner.

RampantIvy · 09/04/2023 09:25

TBH I prefer to eat my main meal in the evening and am not a fan of substantial lunches.

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