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Original poster

I’m unhappy in my new house and regret buy it now.

91 replies

CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:27

I recently moved out of a rented house that I lived in for 6 years. It was a small house with lots of compromising features that made it difficult to live in sometimes, especially for entertaining but I was really happy there. When I moved to the area for work, it was that house which anchored me, it’s all know and I have great memories there of my life over the years. My neighbours were great too. I feel really sentimental about it. And, when I moved out it was in better condition than when I first moved in. My landlord was happy!

To get on the property ladder, I exchanged last month and after serving notice on the rental, I’ve now been in the new house for about three weeks. The only compromise was that it is in the next village from the town I left which I liked living in and has a small driveway.

Since moving in I must say I hate it. Firstly, I feel very unsettled and it doesn’t help that I’ve been in a new job too.

The new house is a quaint cottage but the unusual layout that I thought was attractive when I viewed it, is annoying me now and the bathroom is downstairs. The laminate floors are horrible and my TVs don’t fit anywhere. At the moment I’m eating off my lap like a student and not a professional adult, until the dining room is finished. It’s much colder than my last house, the street noice is loud and there are noises inside that I’m unfamiliar with too.

I’ve also discovered that I have rats living in my loft and had pest control have been out twice, which last night they pulled one dead rat out of the loft. There is another one they couldn’t find. It was disgusting. I feel despite my house being clean it feels feral to me now. I truly hate being in the house knowing these pests have been here. This pest issue is also costing me a lot of money.

I’m sat here now in my living room and feeling fed up. I’d love to be sat in my other living room in the old house where I feel safe, secure and to know that my lovely neighbours are there and without the rats.

Has anyone else been through this or can recommend ways to feel happier, as I’d really appreciate it. I hate this feeling of regretting such a big decision to buying this house. Everyone else who’s visited me loves it but me.
Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 22:39

dizzygirl1 · 06/04/2023 22:30

I moved 6 months ago, renting (given 2 months notice) and as Truss messed up so there REALLY weren't any choices and it was this house or no house, still renting. I'm the same, moved 3.5 miles away but it's awful, I hate it, mu mental health is rock bottom, had to move DC from their town for the past 6 years, youngest has lost their independence (Yr 8 do just got it) and I spend my time feeling guilty and travelling back to the old town. Working is more difficult as I don't have a desk to wfh, going into the office and school runs (didn't need to do before) means I'm working evenings.
I am miserable and I can't see a way out, can't save for a deposit, can't find another house in my old town I can afford.
I hope you manage to turn your house around, sorry I don't have a better story for you.

Absolutely don’t apologise. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I hope that in others helping me that you can be helped too.

As a Tory supporter even I am disgusted in Truss. She really made a negative impact for many people. People like you and me have needed to make difficult choices to make good of what we can.

I think we need to just try and focus on the positives and remind ourselves of the good that’s going on in our lives. This thread has certainly helped me tonight.

OP posts:
Zipettydooda · 06/04/2023 22:37

You’ve only been there for a few weeks and teething problems will resolve.

Just think…you’re paying your own mortgage, not someone else’s.
The previous house was lovely, perhaps, but not your own and you were not guaranteed to be able to live there forever.
Imagine being given notice by the landlord to move out? That can’t happen now and at least you’re on the property ladder and have some stability.

The rats issue will settle down.
Do you like cats?
I had a problem with mice and they seemed to move out overnight once my 2 cats moved in.

When time comes to retire, your mortgage will be paid off and you can relax a little rather than keep working into old age to pay the rent.

You are in control. Think of the positives because they far out way the negatives.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 06/04/2023 22:31

I hated both this and my last house for the first few weeks after buying them. I think there is a lot going on: dealing with change, fear you've made a bad investment, feelings of being daunted by the work required to get it to be a home. I grew to love both of them.

dizzygirl1 · 06/04/2023 22:30

I moved 6 months ago, renting (given 2 months notice) and as Truss messed up so there REALLY weren't any choices and it was this house or no house, still renting. I'm the same, moved 3.5 miles away but it's awful, I hate it, mu mental health is rock bottom, had to move DC from their town for the past 6 years, youngest has lost their independence (Yr 8 do just got it) and I spend my time feeling guilty and travelling back to the old town. Working is more difficult as I don't have a desk to wfh, going into the office and school runs (didn't need to do before) means I'm working evenings.
I am miserable and I can't see a way out, can't save for a deposit, can't find another house in my old town I can afford.
I hope you manage to turn your house around, sorry I don't have a better story for you.

ggbbnn1 · 06/04/2023 22:24

I'm in my house just over a year now and the first 6-8 months I wanted to go back home to my parents. I hated it, it was empty and cold, it's new so it was clean it just didn't feel like home. I don't really know what changed but it does feel like mine now and I'm much more settled 🤍

Anamechangeisasgoodasaholiday · 06/04/2023 22:17

I was like you when I first moved in. Still am tbh. But couldn’t keep on renting endlessly so had to make a move.

I’m not loving the house - just dealing with a plague of ants who come up through the cellar 🤢 - but I’ve resigned myself to it now.

I’ve focussed on one room and have gotten right and I hide out there. Doing the bathroom next.

How I’m keeping sane is I’ve set aside a bit of cash each week to spend on the house. It varies on what I can afford around paying bills as I’m paid weekly, but every week I buy something to improve the house, even if it’s very small like fresh flowers or a house plant (which I never bought before) and it’s certainly helping.

sausagelastrange · 06/04/2023 22:07

I can relate to this too. I've been in my house 10 years now and in the first few weeks had a constant knot in my stomach from feeling so unsettled and homesick.

I found one room I liked (the lounge) and tried to focus on making other rooms bareable.

It got better and I bloody love my home now hope it gets better soon

Ballsinabiscuit · 06/04/2023 22:07

Op I feel exactly the same, I’ve been in my new house since December and changed jobs in February.

I hate here, like you nothing seems to fit Infact I am currently sitting on my bed nearly in tears as I don’t have space in my room to have proper furniture as well as a tv (first world problems)
The designers really didn’t have a clue when they built this place, so much dead space that I didn’t realise was there until I moved in.

PonkyPonky · 06/04/2023 22:04

I’ve been where you are. We bought a terribly run down house because it was all we could afford. Everything was broken, nothing worked, we had mice and it was so dirty when we got the keys. I’m nearly 2 years in now and we’ve done so much work and I now can’t imagine living anywhere else. You have to change things to make it yours. Redecorate a bit, make it feel like home, don’t just wait for it. When I had the mouse problem, I was horrified but mentioned it at work and nearly everyone in my office said they’d had a rat problem at one point and they all live in lovely houses. Once they’ve been taken care of and their route in blocked off, you can forget all about them.

Mylittlepea · 06/04/2023 21:58

It really is unnerving when you get rodents moving in. We had one in our house a few years ago and it freaked me out. Chewing at night, rat droppings etc, I just couldn’t sleep. Got a brilliant pest control guy in though and within a couple of weeks the rat was dead: hooray !!!
get that sorted and I’m sure you’ll be happy & begin to enjoy your new home x

Chipsahoy · 06/04/2023 21:52

I hated my home when I moved. In a new country. Rural instead of a town.
It was gross. Filthy. Mice. Mould. One year on and I’m not leaving unless it’s in a box.. hold on, it could improve massively in time.

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 21:46

OneAndDon3 · 06/04/2023 21:33

When you move house it takes three months for routines to become automatic.

That means now when you think "I want a cup of tea" you have to think where you go, where's the kitchen and the kettle in the kitchen, the cups, the tea, the fridge and the milk and then the teaspoons and the bin. Thinking all of these things instead of it being automatic is EXHAUSTING. And it's like that for you for everything you do in the new house. Then you have a new job on top of that.

Be kind to yourself. Make a space in the house which is warm and comfortable and that you like and get through the next couple of months before you make any big decisions about what comes next.

Oh my goodness, you’ve hit the nail on the head. I have to get up earlier in the mornings as it takes me longer to get ready for work. Though most of my clothes are still packed away.

Doing everything takes longer and it is exhausting. I wasn’t sure anyone would relate to that. It’s so true.

Getting advice is helpful and although I speak to friends and family, I’m worried of speaking too negatively and not being excited enough about what should be a good thing.

OP posts:
OneAndDon3 · 06/04/2023 21:33

When you move house it takes three months for routines to become automatic.

That means now when you think "I want a cup of tea" you have to think where you go, where's the kitchen and the kettle in the kitchen, the cups, the tea, the fridge and the milk and then the teaspoons and the bin. Thinking all of these things instead of it being automatic is EXHAUSTING. And it's like that for you for everything you do in the new house. Then you have a new job on top of that.

Be kind to yourself. Make a space in the house which is warm and comfortable and that you like and get through the next couple of months before you make any big decisions about what comes next.

Zanatdy · 06/04/2023 21:31

I can understand the rat thing must be really putting you off settling in properly. I know it would me. I had 5 wasp nests in a flat I lived in once and it ruined it for me then.

I’ve just moved and got other stuff going on in my life and I’m feeling really unsettled, despite liking my new place. I think it takes a while regardless to settle but add in other things and it makes it harder. Hopefully things will change soon

Luckydip1 · 06/04/2023 21:30

The rats can be dealt with don't worry about them. Try and focus on what you do like about the house for now. Over time it will become your home and I'm sure you will meet make friends in the village, but don't compare with your last place, this is a new chapter in your life.

WonderingWanda · 06/04/2023 21:26

Posted too soon.

I felt like this 10 years ago and now I don't want to leave. At first it felt like I was camping out in someone else's house. Every thing I did over the years made it a little bit nicer and more mine. Give it a chance, at least 6 weeks to adjust a bit.

WonderingWanda · 06/04/2023 21:24

It's a big adjustment moving house, especially when you have been so settled and happy in the previous house and if the new house feels like a step backwards in terms of work to make it nice.

I felt that way about my house 10 y

FFF3 · 06/04/2023 21:20

Three weeks is nothing. Of course you’ll feel unsettled, even with a dream move. Give it 6 months and see if you still feel the same then.

Peppadog · 06/04/2023 21:18

OP I moved 5 months ago and I still ache for my old home. My old home that I moaned about constantly because it had no outside space and was on a busy road. I miss my neighbours, I miss the warmth of it, the lightness of the rooms, my old area.
I just feel desperately sad. I think it's normal to pine for your old home, I'm hoping I will adjust in time and I'm sure you will too.

AgrathaChristie · 06/04/2023 21:17

I too have ugly laminate but that’s better than my last house when I moved in, the carpets could have walked out by themselves. I had them ripped up and down the tip within 24 hours. Buy a couple of nice rugs to break up the laminate.
Decorating helps to make it feel yours, as well as small things like cushions, throws, maybe a houseplant or two or some flowers. Also changing the smell of a house using scented candles or an oil burner will help.
I agree with pp who’ve said changing your job at the same time as moving house has doubled the stress.

Moreorlessmentallystable · 06/04/2023 21:15

Give it time. We moved to a cottage 2 and a half years ago. When we moved the house had been left in a disgusting state, dog hair everywhere, one side of the house had carpets with no underlay and the other side had wooden floors that were so expanded when we moved they formed an apex on the floor ..( they were not as bad when we viewed and the process took about 9 months after last viewing)...house was littered with dead wasps and there was a little field mouse coming in too! The first week one of the bath taps just flew off as the bathroom was falling apart too..I felt so disappointed back then, but now it just feels like home , we have taken care of all the wasps and blocked the gap where the mouse was getting in, changed all flooring, one of the bathrooms renovated, etc, it takes time to settle and make a stranger's house a lovely home 🏡. You need to persevere OP

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 21:12

Stillwinston · 06/04/2023 21:08

Although you loved your old house, did you love paying off someone else's mortgage? Even if in 6 months you decide that the house isn't right for you, you now have an asset that is absolutely yours - this is a massive thing which you should be really proud of 👍

Congratulations on your new house OP and I'm sure that you'll come to love it in no time 😊

Thank you. That’s a lovely spin on the situation. I’m so focused on the negatives right now I’m not seeing the positives. Paying someone else’s mortgage wasn’t a good thing and you’re right, this is an asset!

OP posts:
Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 21:08

StarDolphins · 06/04/2023 20:34

I lve
my house but when I had rats I totally & utterly went off it, I just hated it & was trawling rightmove thinking it was the house I hated. Could it be the rats & feeling unsettled generally at the minute?

You must’ve seen qualities in the house to but it & could’ve pictured yourself there?

The rat issue just made the whole thing worse. My parents, mum especially, doesn’t want to stay over now to keep me company. The house doesn’t feel clean now.

It’s just so much has happened all at once and I guess the old house was just so familiar and less stressful.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Stillwinston · 06/04/2023 21:08

Although you loved your old house, did you love paying off someone else's mortgage? Even if in 6 months you decide that the house isn't right for you, you now have an asset that is absolutely yours - this is a massive thing which you should be really proud of 👍

Congratulations on your new house OP and I'm sure that you'll come to love it in no time 😊

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:54

Jellykat · 06/04/2023 20:48

It takes time as others have said, the bits you hate (like the laminate) can be sorted out in time, and every new house has different noises, you'll get used to the 'sound' of this one eventually.
As for the rats, the little buggers are everywhere, even in towns, how do you feel about getting a cat?

Having said that, i have in the past bought a house i lived in for 6 months, but resold again as it didnt feel right.

Give it time, but if you still feel the same after giving it a good shot, sell it and start again! .. bit of a palaver i know, but nothings set in stone forever!

I don’t want to get a cat, some family members are allergic.

Though, when I got my mortgage the bank valued it higher and I did negotiate money off, so if in 6 months I feel the same I may rethink the house. Thank you.

OP posts: