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Original poster

I’m unhappy in my new house and regret buy it now.

91 replies

CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:27

I recently moved out of a rented house that I lived in for 6 years. It was a small house with lots of compromising features that made it difficult to live in sometimes, especially for entertaining but I was really happy there. When I moved to the area for work, it was that house which anchored me, it’s all know and I have great memories there of my life over the years. My neighbours were great too. I feel really sentimental about it. And, when I moved out it was in better condition than when I first moved in. My landlord was happy!

To get on the property ladder, I exchanged last month and after serving notice on the rental, I’ve now been in the new house for about three weeks. The only compromise was that it is in the next village from the town I left which I liked living in and has a small driveway.

Since moving in I must say I hate it. Firstly, I feel very unsettled and it doesn’t help that I’ve been in a new job too.

The new house is a quaint cottage but the unusual layout that I thought was attractive when I viewed it, is annoying me now and the bathroom is downstairs. The laminate floors are horrible and my TVs don’t fit anywhere. At the moment I’m eating off my lap like a student and not a professional adult, until the dining room is finished. It’s much colder than my last house, the street noice is loud and there are noises inside that I’m unfamiliar with too.

I’ve also discovered that I have rats living in my loft and had pest control have been out twice, which last night they pulled one dead rat out of the loft. There is another one they couldn’t find. It was disgusting. I feel despite my house being clean it feels feral to me now. I truly hate being in the house knowing these pests have been here. This pest issue is also costing me a lot of money.

I’m sat here now in my living room and feeling fed up. I’d love to be sat in my other living room in the old house where I feel safe, secure and to know that my lovely neighbours are there and without the rats.

Has anyone else been through this or can recommend ways to feel happier, as I’d really appreciate it. I hate this feeling of regretting such a big decision to buying this house. Everyone else who’s visited me loves it but me.
Thank you x

OP posts:
Mumwomansisterdaughter · 08/04/2023 12:52

Give it time ! Every single time I moved it took me over 2 months to actually feel enough at home to sit in my living room and watch a movie and enjoy a settled in feeling . All those hiccups are I’ll be worth i

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 08/04/2023 12:44

Becoming a homeowner does not always make you happier in the short term but it was probably the right thing to do in the long run. You were unlucky with the rats, it's a common problem but really disconcerting when you have only just moved in. All the problems are potentially fixable with time and money, except perhaps the street noise and you may find you adapt to it.

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 08/04/2023 12:25

Maybe it's because it's still a house but not yet a home.

If the rats were gone and everything you need was done and it functioned how you wanted it too, would you be happy? Can you write the list and estimate the timeline to see how long it will take to get there.

If it really if longterm awful, see if you can sell without a loss, possibly not.

2bazookas · 08/04/2023 12:13

New-home regret is very very common; it wears off .

QueenBee1234 · 07/04/2023 12:36

Honestly, my house didn't feel like my home until I had lived in it for about five years......luckily I didn't hate it, but it definitely didn't feel like mine for a long time!
I think I am just a weird person, it takes a while for me to settle somewhere but once I do I can't imagine leaving.
Just give it time, if you have the funds take your time decorating to your taste (ie, don't just decorate in a rush in an effort to make it yours. Make sure you genuinely love everything you put into the house whether it be wallpaper, paint or even the tea towels. The smallest things can make the biggest difference)
The rat issue is unfortunate, but really not that big of a drama. I would be having a conversation with your mother about her refusal to stay.....I'm assuming she is happy to stay in hotels? She'll have been far closer to rats than she knows so no need to be silly about it and put a downer on your house!
Give it time, I'm sure you will settle soon.

BurntOutGirl · 07/04/2023 11:28

Nothing feels right when you first move somewhere new - you can't expect it too.

As you get it sorted i.e decorated, pests sorted out etc it will feel like yours.

Could the TV be hung on the wall? Is there room upstairs to make an ensuite?

Tropicgirl · 07/04/2023 11:00

Aww I feel bad for you . I also loved 5 months ago and can’t stand the new location or house. It’s hard as I have to pass my lovely little home twice a day to get to the new one and I cry each time.
my commute is now 2 hours to work. I spend most of the week at my moms because my son still goes to school near her area which is a closer commute to work. My husband doesn’t want to hear about moving back. I’m so gutted over it. Hang in there you are not alone

Tropicgirl · 07/04/2023 10:41

Hi there I completely am in the same boat!
moved because I wanted a bigger space and chose quickly because of market pressure
i can’t stand the house, it takes me 2 hours to get to work my son doesn’t like it either and I also hear noises I don’t like
but my husband loves it and doesn’t want to move back to our lovely area
hang in there you are not alone. You can give it time then go back life is too short

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 07/04/2023 10:17

I always think it takes longer than you expect to find the flow of your house.
it’s annoying at first as it doesn’t flow like your last one, and you have to find a home for everything.
but you will get there.

congratulations on your purchase

Densol57 · 07/04/2023 10:13

Lots of older houses have rodent problems so you are not alone. You have found them quickly and the pest controllers will sort it out 👍🏼

Think of the great positives - no more rent, no landlords deciding to raise the rent or sell so you have to move, an asset that will hopefully appreciate and a mortgage that goes down a little bit each month ! Well done you 👏

Be gentle on yourself. It takes time to adapt. The spring is here and soon be summer. Licks of paint and your stamp will come soon - enjoy 💐

JMSA · 07/04/2023 10:08

Aww, you poor thing! It's totally natural to compare something new unfavourably (especially when things are going wrong!) to something safe and familiar.
But the feelings you're having now will pass, and the current house will become your new normal.
Have to say though, if your predecessors knowingly left you with rats, that's unbelievably shit of them.
Hope you start to feel more settled soon Flowers

dizzygirl1 · 07/04/2023 10:02

CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 22:39

Absolutely don’t apologise. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I hope that in others helping me that you can be helped too.

As a Tory supporter even I am disgusted in Truss. She really made a negative impact for many people. People like you and me have needed to make difficult choices to make good of what we can.

I think we need to just try and focus on the positives and remind ourselves of the good that’s going on in our lives. This thread has certainly helped me tonight.

Show quote history

Thank you, sometimes it's easy to get caught up in it all.
It is looking on the bright side though, you have bought your house! Brilliant and well done, you can change anything you want and decorate however you want and all the other things you can't do when renting ! Big positives.
I'm in a relatively safe house, not in a premier inn/travelodge 2 hours from school and work which was the worst case news from the local council.
It's also beautiful today and that makes everything so much better!

Babooshka1990 · 07/04/2023 01:47

We moved 6 months ago and I cried for weeks as I missed my old house, hated this one (noisy road, horrible
bathrooms, cold, leaks, horrid flooring, just loads more needing doing than I realised).

Theres still so much I don’t like but every little change (painting a wall, new carpet) makes me feel happier here. Also I have to admit the move made practical sense as we needed the room.

If you focus on the positives on the house and plan some decorating projects, I think you will start to feel more at home.

PlantKi1ler · 07/04/2023 00:17

I was really excited to buy my first house, I could only afford a fixer upper so I knew the house needed work but when I stepped inside and saw the mess that the previous owners had left I burst into tears. It was filthy, smelly and had a list as long as your arm of work that needed doing.

I thought I'd made a huge mistake and I couldn't imagine it ever feeling like home. But I've been here a few years now and I love it.

I think it's quite normal to feel unsettled and a bit overwhelmed when you move house. Give it time :)

ored · 06/04/2023 23:49

Could you get a cat? A rescue maybe, that might help the rat problem.

I moved house 7.5 years ago and still yearn for my old home. It was much smaller and we as a family were not living comfortably especially as the children grew but I miss my old kitchen and street, the area was friendly. I'm planning to move back there once my children have left home. I've tried to make the best of where I'm living now but it just doesn't feel like my home.

I hope things improve for you.

rrrrrreatt · 06/04/2023 23:38

I feel this so hard - we bought our house just over 2 months ago, it needed a bit of work so we planned to move in at the end of April.

We got the keys and found a tiny crack so peeled back the paper there - the back of our house was falling off. When we took the wallpaper down in other areas we found the walls had literally separated. We’re the best part of £10k down (way more than our emergency budget), have a house thats more steel bars than brick, no kitchen or bathroom but piles of bricks and crap the builders kindly leave for me to trip over, and although we don’t have rats yet we will soon because…we have a boarded up hole instead of a back wall.

God knows when it’ll be livable. All the structural work has caused the plaster to come away so I’m currently stripping it off alone (the house has literally given my partner asthma) and regularly think WTAF have we done. It’s really rubbish because you imagine your first house being a skipping into the sunset moment but it comes with rats (or cracks) and other problems which mean it never will be. It must get better though because lots of people live in a house for 10+ years and I don’t think they’re all people who bought the perfect house! It just takes a while to make it your own and feel at home.

Echobelly · 06/04/2023 23:33

My first house had a downstairs bathroom which was not ideal but I always reminded myself that this meant there were two good size bedrooms (which meant I could let the second bedroom out to a friend), and as I was able bodied and healthy it wasn't really an issue.

Small things make a big difference... when we moved to our current house it was very beige and brown and underlit, most of it hadn't been redecorated since the late 70s, and I remember the room we used as a bedroom had this horrible stingy-sized mustard coloured lightshade that really depressed me somehow... so after a few months I bought a much bigger, more colourful shade and it made such a difference to how I felt about the room. When we repainted all the dark woodwork to a light colour a few years in it totally transformed the whole place.

I think you'll feel loads better when you have a dining table but in the meantime, maybe see about things like light shades and cushions to just make it feel like yours a bit more?

GreggsRoll · 06/04/2023 23:27

I felt like this in my first bought house after renting. It just didn't feel like home, everything annoyed me, I didn't like the street noise, the layout of the lounge, the neighbours, it just felt like I was floating around a stranger's house and couldn't ever relax. I think it went on for a good few months before I started to gradually think of it as home and now I couldn't imagine being back in my old rented house, neighbours are fab (I just didn't know them when I moved in!).

The pest problem obviously isn't good but I think a lot of it is normal and it's just moving away from what you're used to and know.

Iwantanapnow · 06/04/2023 23:21

Its often the case when you buy after renting that the new place isn't quite as good as the rental place. You just have to make it yours.
We all have a favourite room - in my home its my bedroom - so find your happy space and make it your own then spread out from there.
All the best

Motherofalittledragon · 06/04/2023 22:58

I moved 3 months ago with no chance of moving for the foreseeable future, god I hate it and it makes me so miserable, nothing wrong with the house apart from too small and it's not "home" but I hate it! What I'd give to be back in the village that I left behind.

MereDintofPandiculation · 06/04/2023 22:55

Find the bit of the house which needs least transformation and turn it into a comfortable place for you. We moved into a doer upper, we were cooking with an electric frying pan and a slow cooker, and washing up in the bathroom, but we made a comfortable sitting place in the bedroom where we were cooking (we were sleeping in another bedroom), and everything was fine.

A plumbed in washing machine helped too.

Whattt44 · 06/04/2023 22:52

I sobbed on and off for a week when we moved, I missed my old house so much and really regretted moving, I felt as if I was just living in someone else's house temporarily.
Seven years on , new carpet and some decorating and I love my little house now.
It didn't take 7years for me to settle, I hasten to add, it's a big upheaval and I'm sure once you've got it how you want, you'll feel much better xx

FiddleLeaf · 06/04/2023 22:45

A big fat yes. I moved last year and regretted it massively. I sobbed many times but after a couple of months & some redecorating aka reclaiming the house as mine, I started to like it. We still have lots of work to do & it’s a money pit but it feels like my home now.

Hang in there!

toddlermom1 · 06/04/2023 22:44

I moved last October and only now have i stopped missing my old house and now enjoy living here! Its taken time but the excitement of decorating again and buying new bits to make it homely im so glad i made the move. Theres still alot of work aheadBlush

CurlyTop1980 · 06/04/2023 22:39

I didn't want to read and not respond. I moved to my current home 9 years ago. It's a detached 3 bed house with a driveway and a garden. We moved from a very small 2 bedroom flat with no parking and a front door in the back of the property. Completely impractical with kids. However like you when I moved I hated the new house. I would wake each day thinking I was in my old home. I cried so much.

It will take time and you will settle. For me making sure the house smelt like home was important.