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AIBU?

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Original poster

State school Uk vs International school abroad

62 replies

Lentilsandyoghurt · 06/04/2023 12:05

Hey all,

I know not many of you have such experience but I am wondering whether a good state school in the Uk will provide better education and opportunities for my kids or an international school abroad that follows British curriculum is better.

We are not originally from the Uk, we come from a EU country and we may need to good soon back for family reasons.

The kids are still young, primary school kids and have been raised as bilingual.

What do you think will be best for them?

Eventually in 10 years time they will return in the Uk to study as they will follow the British curriculum no matter where we will be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lentilsandyoghurt · 06/04/2023 14:04

We could just about afford it although international schools abroad are very expensive. Obviously, if we could stay in the Uk that would be financially much more healthier for us.

We don’t really want to move as we are settled but it’s so unfair to just forget our parents back in their final years that are so needy (mainly emotionally and less physically).

It’s a very tough one…

Yes, we would be happy with the international school in our home country and getting a place there won’t be an issue. Also, our kids would get to learn our home country language much better, so there are benefits.

The only drawbacks of going back in my mind is the financial one and the fact that the kids will lose familiarity and start from scratch to reestablish themselves.

I know that going back the earlier will be the best for them but every year we stay in the Uk is a massive financial gain for us as we don’t need to pay for expensive international schools.

OP posts:
DandledASandle · 06/04/2023 14:01

If you need to go that's all there is to it. And much as I love our DC's state school, it's hard to imagine it trumping the opportunity to live properly in 2 different countries, grow up with extended family etc. It doesn't sound like parents v kids at all.

FlounderingFruitcake · 06/04/2023 13:59

Ohhh so you are thinking of moving from the uk back to your home country and that if you do, the kids will go to an international school? Have you looked into the local international/British school and would you be happy with it, can you afford it, would the kids get places? That would surely answer your question.

ostentatiousocelot · 06/04/2023 13:52

Tough one. As you plan to move back to the UK, I would personally only move the kids if you are certain that the move will make your whole family happier. If they are happy and settled here, and so are you and DH (and if your local schools and area are nice) then I would stay and spend holidays in your home country. Having moved around a bit, I do think it becomes quite hard to uproot DC the older they get and you face having to do that twice if you don't intend it to be a permanent move.

Original poster
Lentilsandyoghurt · 06/04/2023 13:13

Thanks all for the answers.

We don’t have any family in the Uk, we came here to study and work a long time ago and our parents and families are in our home country.

We need to go back as our parents are in a poorly state and they need us to be close to them in their final years and it will also be good for the kids to spend some time and make memories with grandparents.

However, we would not like to upset the lives or their kids if we are not certain it will be for their benefit.

Is more of a question parents vs kids and head vs heart really!

I know it’s a tough one to answer without knowing specifics and school performances.

OP posts:
ostentatiousocelot · 06/04/2023 12:33

I don't quite understand the question. Surely if you have to move back to your home country anyway then the DC will move with you, as they can't stay here and go to a state school alone? Or are you trying to work out whether having DC in a UK state school is a benefit worth staying in the country for rather than moving back?

It's an impossible question to answer without knowing more about the schools involved. I wouldn't have thought either was automatically the better option as it really does depend on the individual schools. You could try the Living Overseas section to see if anyone knows the specific international school, and presumably you know something of your local UK school already?

ChiefPearlClutcher · 06/04/2023 12:18

My kids are in a very good (by reputation and marketing) international school with a British curriculum and I am not impressed. It’s more like an ofsted outstanding state school. And it costs A BOMB. I can totally understand why international families
send their kids to board in the UK.
Mine will return to their uk indie (that we left a few years ago)
soon. Many parents where we are send the kids back to England for boarding as soon as GCSE’s come into play.

my priorities/choices would be
-family together when they are young
-UK for senior school
-boarding as last resort.

What are your options OP? I can’t quite figure it out. Do you want to leave them in the uk with family while you are posted abroad? X

FlounderingFruitcake · 06/04/2023 12:13

This is absolutely impossible to answer. Some international schools are great. Others benefit from a captive market and produce sub par results. Some British state schools are fantastic. Others are awful. Then there’s your kids and whether they’d appreciate or resent a move because kids usually do best when they’re happy. But if a move is inevitable whilst they’re still at school then probably the earlier time the better because generally speaking a 6 year old will settle far easier and quicker than a 16 year old, not to mention moving during exam years causes a whole lot of problems.

Hoppinggreen · 06/04/2023 12:12

DandledASandle · 06/04/2023 12:09

Wherever you are. Kids need their parents more than they need one sort of school over another.

Yep

DominoRules · 06/04/2023 12:11

My kids have been to international schools abroad (British curriculum) and now back in U.K. state school - to be honest overall there’s not much difference between it. International was better for sports/creative side but I would say the state has better foundations for maths and English. I would imagine if they’d stayed at either there won’t have been a huge variation in GCSE results etc

DandledASandle · 06/04/2023 12:09

Wherever you are. Kids need their parents more than they need one sort of school over another.

Original poster
Lentilsandyoghurt · 06/04/2023 12:06

YABU - Stay in the Uk
YANBU - Kids will be fine in whichever country

OP posts: