Husband never appreciates my cooking

Well exactly. And if you know one tiny thing that you don't care about either way, means a lot to the person you're spending your life with, it's nice to do it. Don't other posters ever like to do nice things for your OHs?

If you just stopped cooking for him, what would he do? Surely not eat takeaways forever?

I don't need fanfare or falling at my feet with appreciation, but a non-forced thank you is basic manners. Like hell would I be cooking every night for a thankless Neanderthal.

Is this the one sticking point of feeling unappreciated?

I’ll be honest - my husband cooks for me, and I pretty much don’t care. He cooks lovely meals, but it doesn’t actually save me any work because I don’t really care that much about food, and it would be no hardship to stick a tub of soup in the microwave, or have a bagel.

Now I have manners so I do always say thank you. But of all the things he brings to our marriage - cooking just isn’t something I value. He hasn’t even really done it “for me” - he’s done what he wants to do, I just get the benefit of it. But the benefit isn’t huge - and I wonder if that’s where your husband is coming from too?

I think he’s showing too little appreciation - but it sounds like you’re expecting too much, possibly? If my husband reacted to my cooking the way your dad did to your mum all the time, it would irritate the shit out of me! Too much of a performance for me. I’d want a thank you and if it was particularly to their taste definitely like to hear it. But not the performance every day.

He should be saying thank you every mean time though.

There's literally no effort involved to say a bit of thanks to someone who has cooked you dinner every night. Putting the bins and and cutting the grass is a once a week thing (if that). Cooking dinner is a daily task, that involves thought, pre planning recipes, shopping for said items and then cooking from scratch.

My husband does thank me every night for dinner. Sometimes it's with more enthusiasm than others as not every night is Cordon Bleu. And thats absolutely fine with me. I thank him for all the amazing DIY he does, I'd also thank him if he cut the grass too. It takes 2 seconds to show appreciation.

@Pallisers I was thinking that! Can you give examples of what meals you do @Unappreciatedcook. If your DH doesn't appreciate your meals then he should cook more. We are a family that always says thank you to the person who cooked the meal. If it is a new recipe we might discuss how it could be improved or whether it is something we would like again

I don't think you should be expecting praise for producing an everyday meal. You have allowed the situation to develop where you do the cooking, so it's on you if you're not happy about it.

You can't change someone. If you want him to step up and cook more often, you'll have to allow him to cook the meals he likes. Or you can both agree not to cook for each other. Let him get his own.

Life is easier when you accept others for who they are. Doesn't mean you have to martyr yourself though.

Because the law of mumsnet means you need to be a snipey bastard just to make people feel shit perhaps?

Waiting for the posts demanding to know her recipes so they can be properly berated any minute....

How can the OP's food sound bland and dull when she hasn't given a description of even one meal?

I think your DH does sound a bit ungrateful, he should be thanking you for every meal you make him, but it also sounds like your dad was a bit over the top.

Just say to him that you realise he doesn't like your cooking and that is fine so from now on you'll just cook for the boys and you and he can have food that he'd prefer. And stick with it.

Making a healthy dinner every day is a big deal (I've done it for years). It should be appreciated. Also, I don't tolerate big performative cooking once or twice a year. I'm darned if I'm going to sit at my thanksgiving table while everyone compliments dh for cooking the turkey when I do the daily slog day in day out.

I think I’ve been spoilt by my Dads example. When I was little he’d sit to the table with enthusiasm for what my mum had cooked, tuck in with gusto, take a bite and say immediately ‘that’s delicious!’ And carry on making a fuss of her and thanking her for cooking.

You have been spoilt. What you've described is nice, but I couldn't be doing with it every night.
Cook what you want to cook, enjoy it, and give yourself a pat on the back.
As long as everyone says thanks, that's all it needs to be.
My DH is the only one to cut the grass and put the bins out, I don't gush over it every time.

^This.

Just cook for you and your DS if they're around.

Stop cooking for him 🤷🏻‍♀️