To wonder how I approach my neighbour about her nude son

I would call the police and report what happened. It’s not on.

I tend to agree with this.

Tough situation for the boy's family but traumatizing others isn't the solution.

Me neither!

It doesn't matter whether the boy is NT or ND, having ANYONE run at you naked on the street is shocking and frightening, regardless of whether you are 14 or 40. OP's DD doesn't have to make allowances for his behaviour, it's unacceptable, even if there is no ill intention. Definitely mention it to his mum OP, for his sake as well as your daughters.

Tell her the facts of what happened. Tell her that it wasn't acceptable behaviour and that you'd appreciate an assurance that it won't happen again. Don't tell her how to parent her son, that will only rile her up.

Report the incident to your local muti-agency safeguarding hub. His mum most likely wont be told about the report and it won't ever be communicated to her that you made it - but you need to report it for HIS safeguarding (as well as those around him).

Consider getting your daughter and yourself into some sort of martial arts training. It is an incredible confidence restorer, knowing that you would be able to handle it if that sort of thing happened again. (Before MNers jump on me I'm NOT saying it's the victims responsibility to learn how to physically handle the incident happening again - clearly it's his mum's responsibility to prevent it - but I imagine the incident has left a mark on OP's daughter's psyche and this would be a positive thing to redress that if so).

I can't believe some of the answers to this!
Your poor daughter, OP

I've reported your post. Either you're hard of thinking, or genuinely stupid.

I'd suggest you approach this on the basis that this behaviour is putting her child in danger, which it certainly is.

The misquote related to @irreverent saying that @Danielle9891 had claimed that autism was not a learning disability - as she has acknowledged, she was mistaken, because of course it was you who incorrectly made that claim.

There's always one....

I think if you already are expecting her to be dismissive & argumentative (I guess based on your previous interactions) then I would just stick to the facts. It's unlikely you will be able to avoid upsetting her as it's such a difficult topic and involves her son so she's obviously going to feel upset and want to defend him. Some of the replies in this post might give you an idea on what to expect.

You could try something like this

Unfortunately yesterday X,y,z happened. I find this unacceptable because... It has left my daughter feeling.... I felt it best to inform you as a first step. I trust it won't happen again.

If she tries to argue I would personally just disengage and not try to persuade her. I don't think you have much chance of changing her mind if she doesn't think it's a big deal.

I don’t want to start a shitstorm here, but my friend’s son has a severe intellectual disability and as he as grown bigger and stronger he does act out sexually. This situation needs to be addressed.

It’s tricky, he isn’t doing it deliberately. I would mention it to the neighbour politely. That would be traumatic for your daughter. If it happens a lot I would report it. Because one day he might get hurt as a result.

I agree with this. It's a safeguarding issue for BOTH OP's daughter, and the boy, and that's why it's so pressing she speaks to neighbour/non emergency police about it so something is done!

I’m just a bit gobsmacked that people aren’t aware of how vulnerable this boy was to be out on his own naked, with no supervisory adults. In this scenario I would have knocked on the door and if met by a ‘what is the problem’ response I’d have phoned the police. I know it’s tough but you can get door locks specially for kids that can escape - and I’d be very worried that this boy is going to come to harm if he does this regularly.

The fact that he ran at OPs daughter seems to be the only thing people are focused on. A very vulnerable child, was naked, on his own!

Why are you so sure he wouldn’t have caused her harm? People with learning difficulties still have sexual feelings, and aren’t inherently incapable of acting on them or incapable of inflicting harm.

“There is evidence to suggest that incidence of physical and sexual abuse is higher amongst children and adults with a learning disability than in the general population.”

https://www.wirralsafeguarding.co.uk/procedures/11-9-assessing-sexual-perpetrators-learning-disabilities/

As uncomfortable a subject as it may be, it happens.

Compassion for him does not mean brushing it off like it’s not a big deal. It is a big deal, for him AND for her. Furthermore, her safety (and the safety of others around him)should not be sacrificed in the name of ‘compassion’.

@Soontobe60 i agree with you it’s a safeguarding issue OP just go over and speak to his Mum - she may not be aware he was missing let alone naked and running after your DD. Children with ASD often like to be naked as wearing clothes can be a huge sensory issue for them.

He should be properly supervised at all time, being naked aside if he has no sense of danger he could have wandered off on his own. Steps need to be taken to ensure he is safe at all times.

His lack of safeguarding has led to your DDs lack of safeguarding unfortunately, she shouldn’t have been put in that position at all. Go speak to his Mum she will probably be upset and mortified but will want to know so she stop it happening again.

I think you should tell the local police via the non-emergency number. This may not be a one-off so better that a record is built up.

To the posters saying that he meant no harm, or that you shouldn't call the police on an autistic child- i wouldn't if he was 6, but he's 16, he's not a small child, you have no idea if he intended any harm or not.

Even if he didn't mean any harm, he frightened a younger child, and she has a right to go about her day unmolested.

I know I would be frightened if this happened to me.

Umm… this doesn’t quite sit right with me. I’d not be telling me young daughter that she’s wrong for feeling afraid that a naked boy ran at her, or that the situation is totally safe and normal. Because it isn’t? It’s difficult to navigate but that doesn’t mean pretend it’s all fine and ignore it at the risk of the young daughter.

As well as chatting with your neighbour it’s important to report to non emergency police so it is on record. They will treat with compassion but also it is a safeguarding issue and he is a risk to others and not just your daughter. This also demonstrates to your daughter that she and her safety is your priority above everything else.

A close friend has an autistic brother who physically abused her and her parents minimised and ignored the abuse. Autistic people often have bad impulse control and this together with an inability to understand social norms means this boy absolutely is a risk and that risk shouldn’t be minimised but safeguards need to be in place.

@Meanswell I am sorry for some of my coarse language in some comments. But yeah ultimately I think you already know what to do. Obviously speak to the lads parents, but very much make sure your daughter doesn't feel intimidated by what happened. Make sure she knows how to defend herself and call for help.

I was quoting the original person who said "Perhaps besides being autistic he is mentally retardant. Maybe his IQ is like a child. Maybe his mother could put his clothes on backwards so he doesn’t take them off. We do that at the nursing home."
It's fucking sickening, and i hope doesn't actually go on but is rather some twisted individual's idea of humour

He wasn't a 40 year old nt man "running at her" though but a severely autistic child.

It’s not an excuse to say he’s autistic and “doesn’t understand” as that wouldn’t be accepted as an excuse if he didn’t understand the law and stole things from shops.

Just as a point of fact, @SNWannabe, it would be accepted as an excuse. To be convicted of theft it has to be proved that the accused had the intention to permanently deprive the owner of the goods in question. If you are mentally incapable of understanding, you cannot form the required intention and couldn't be convicted.