To wonder how I approach my neighbour about her nude son

I think there’s a lots of over reaction here.

This is a mentally disabled boy who has de-robed and left his home on ONE occasion and by the OP’s own description ‘sort of run towards’ her DD, not ‘chased her home’ in a threatening manner at all. He is not routinely wandering around naked, this is the only occasion that has been mentioned, a one off.

Other teenagers might smoke weed, have loud parties, pee in the street and frighten elderly residents - it’s all relative.

I doubt there was any malice involved and unless it’s a regular occurrence I’d leave the ‘what are you going to do about it’ well alone.

The police would be best placed to determine that.

I’m not sure why you think warning the boy off or self defense classes are some sort of silver bullet. You can be trained in self defense and still be overpowered and assaulted. Learning self defense is not a guarantee that you’ll be able to protect yourself when faced with attack. It may improve your chances, but it’s hubristic in the extreme to think it makes you impervious.

the daughter has every reason to fear someone capable of doing her harm, who has accosted her in such a way.

Your comment is incredibly judgmental and really quite outstanding in this day and age. Luckily as a society we are more enlightened. Have you any idea how offensive your comment is to disabled people and their families. Being told your family member should be kept in care and out of sight is so unbelievably hurtful and sole destroying. How about campaigning for more funding to support the families rather than locking up anyone who doesn’t fit into your box of normal.

Crime, fgs . This is a kid and a mum with challenges you will NEVER understand.

Perhaps approach her as an ally, make it more about concern for him? Less likely to put her on the defensive?

"Is X ok? DD saw him naked out the front of the house yesterday and he ran towards her. I am worried someone might hurt him, or he could be arrested."

Once the conversation is going, you can add how upset and threatened your DD felt.

@Bbq1

It's unreasonable to be so definite in this thread that the teenage boy would have had no sexual intent, or no physical ability to harm, when others have related their own experience, including harm from siblings.

OP - I agree with most that this is not something your daughter should have to put up with. Talking to his mother/parents is a clear first step.

As this is a significant safeguarding issue for both your daughter and the boy, it may also be worth contacting your local child safeguarding team.

Haven't rtft. Teach her compassion and forbearance. She's not at threat here, don't facilitate her to escalate this into unnecessary drama.

I’m really struggling with the people saying inform the Police and making it out to be sexual intent
It doesn’t have to be sexual to be unacceptable and illegal. Indecent exposure is illegal even if it’s totally innocent and the person has disabilities.

I fully understand wanting to report it to the police, but there very likely wasn't a crime committed
Indecent exposure is a crime. I’m struggling to see how you think a teenage male showing his penis in public isn’t a crime? Disabled people aren’t exempt from criminal responsibility.

Have a frank conversation with the neighbours
No. It’s not OP’s job to approach the family of the person who committed the crime. That’s what police are for. OP should not be expected to put herself at risk by confronting someone.

The fact that so many posters are suggesting that the OP’s daughter just ‘puts up and shut up’ is crazy to me. This is so inappropriate and really shouldn’t happen again

Are you being serious right now?

If someone comes running up to you completely naked in the middle of the street, you’re not just going to stand their unbothered. I wouldn’t just stand there let alone a young teenager, how the hell was she being dramatic?

‘Is nakedness not usual in your family?’ What a patronising dick you are! As if it’s the same thing to see your mum walking round the house naked

I would google duty social services and report.

As this only the way the mother will get help.

And she will have to get help soon otherwise she will be coping with a man doing stuff like this and then so much less help.

I fully understand wanting to report it to the police, but there very likely wasn't a crime committed. The police get called out to things they really shouldn't and I do think this would be one of them. Have a frank conversation with the neighbours, and make sure they know if he ever laid a hand on your daughter you would do anything to protect her, anything, and I doubt you're going to have a problem in future

Wow… to say the mother needs to get help if she isn’t capable of parenting him, is so unbelievably unfair. Do you have any idea how hard it is parenting a child with severe autism? I don’t know her but it’s likely she’s worn down, stressed, anxious and probably at her limit. She may have taken her eye off the child momentarily and for this one lapse she is being judged as being incapable. Also, if you think getting outside help and care for her son is easy, you are in for a shock. Families of disabled adults and children are at breaking point because there is next to no support for them at all.

I’m really struggling with the people saying inform the Police and making it out to be sexual intent. I’m assuming the original poster knows the boy and what his intentions are likely to have been in this situation and if she felt there are likely to have been malicious she would have called the Police. The OP obviously don’t feel there was a sexual intention so why should she call the Police, why cause further stress and anxiety for the parents.

For context my brother has severe autism, is pretty non verbal and is 30 years old. Mentally he’s like an 18 month to 2 year old. He has zero idea that being naked in front of someone either not in your family or caring for you is inappropriate. Luckily he is obsessed with certain clothes and it’s hard enough keeping him out of a jumper in the summer that him stripping naked isn’t something we have to worry about. However he is extremely social and when friends or family visit and he’s on the loo or something he has been known to try and rush out to greet them with his trousers round his ankles (luckily my Mum has always managed to intercepte him so far!) or even try and call them into the downstairs toilet to see him! None of this nakedness would have been sexual and nor should it be sexualised. Don’t assume there was sexual intent with this boy either, especially as the OP seems to think no harm was meant.

I totally understand this will have been traumatic for the OPs daughter and I feel very sorry for her and obviously his parents should be made aware. They will probably feel awful when they find out how upset her daughter has been. I’m sure they will try their very hardest to make sure this never happens again, suggesting the OP goes in there laying down the law and demanding that this never happens again just sounds condescending and is just going to make the parents feel even more like failures and also make them anxious. Luckily the OP seems kind and very sensitive to their situation so I’m sure this can all be resolved amicably and without the parents feeling even more like failures and stressed. Most importantly hopefully this will help the OPs DD feel safe and happy to venture outside her front door again.

Some of the replies are astounding. The police and social services need to be called. A naked 16 year old male, chasing a young girl, is absolutely a threat. Those thinking he isn't capable of sexual assault are delusional.

Yep

I understand your concerns and I'd be upset for my daughter too OP. I am quite surprised by some of the replies on here tbh! 'a touch dramatic', what BS. Your poor daughter. No one should have to put up with men/boys running at you with bits hanging out , autistic or not! 🙄 I'd report it to the police. Hopefully they'll have a word with his mum.

I’m autistic myself, and being autistic isn’t an excuse for breaking the law. The authorities will still deal with you according to the laws you broke. Of course they will be more understanding and the consequences will be different if your autism has caused you to commit the crime. But you certainly can’t get away with illegal behaviour just because you’re autistic. The police need to be involved because this person has committed indecent exposure; it’s up to them how it’s dealt with.

Isn't it some sort of safeguarding risk if you chat or hug an adolescent with special needs? Nobody wants to be falsely accused of being a pervert or grooming ?

Agree

While we don't know how the young man would have behaved if he'd caught up with OP's dd, she is not unreasonable to want to have a chat or be hugged with someone not wearing clothes.

This is why I feel the best thing the op could do, it's make her daughter feel able to deal with it. Obviously bring it up with the neighbours but it's most important that she feel safe, and you can't personally keep them safe forever, so she needs to know that she could have protected herself in that situation, and how to. Because op mentioned she was feeling scared. And there is no need for her to. She definitely could protect herself. It's important to know that.

I would text her, rather than go knocking based on what you’ve said OP. That way you’ll also have a written and dated record of what’s happened.

But neither you nor I know him. What makes you know his motives were harmful? I didn't suggest KNOWING anything. What I was suggesting to the OP was that her daughter doesn't need to be afraid of him. He's in the wrong. The op was asking about how to help her daughter because she was feeling scared about seeing a naked neighbour kid? She should not be scared of him. That's what I was suggesting. If he was being aggressive, which was not indicated in the original question, a little different, but he's naked, rip his balls off.

It doesn't matter what his motives were. A naked teenage boy rushed at a girl. It was a perfectly reasonable and proportionate response for her to be alarmed and afraid.

Are you naive enough to think that a teenage boy who is quite severely autistic (enough to have no concept that being naked outside of the home and rushing up to people isn't appropriate) would have had the impulse control to stop before he touched her? That he wouldn't have either deliberately or accidentally caused harm to the OP's daughter? That the OP's daughter - a CHILD - shouldn't have been afraid of this but have been prepared and able to to "rip his balls off" before he harmed her?

It's utter gaslighting to say that she shouldn't be scared of him. Every woman and child should have enough of a preservation instinct to be afraid of a naked teenage or adult male rushing up to them.

I am very shocked by the answers here. A naked 16 year old teen running towards an early teen teenage girl is going to be very scary for her. I would be scared and I'm in my 40s. She is not being dramatic and I'd like to see those accusing her of this not reacting to a naked 16 year old running towards them.
I think I would approach it from the angle of his safety. What is someone films and puts him on the Internet?

There is zero say if knowing he isn’t any of those things. Why should the young girl risk assault just because the boy may not be dangerous. What if he is?
I was sexually assaulted by an escaped mental patient as a young child , it happens. Just because they are mentally like children doesn’t mean they don’t have urges more like adults.