To wonder how I approach my neighbour about her nude son

I'd call the police and get it logged. They'll come out and speak to them. I.would.report, it in case it escalates.

Mum of an autistic ds here.

No it's not ok.

The law applies to everyone regardless of any disability. They may not prosecute due to understanding but the law doesn't say flashing is ok because you don't understand.

Mum may need more support and the only way she'll get that is by the authorities understanding there is a problem. I expect the parents have been begging for help for ages.

Speak to the mum. Ask her if she needs more support and how you can help her by reporting this incident to the right people.

Report to the police so it's on record. They need to be aware of his behaviour if it continues/escalates. The reasons for his behaviour are not your problem. Let the police deal with it.

Also, reporting it reinforces to your daughter that what happened was not okay and she had every right to be afraid.

If you can afford it, I'd install CCTV outside to record possible future incidents.

This.

@lipstickwoman Why are you so confident as to the motives?! Autism or no he’s a 16 year old maelstrom of hormones.

No, OP, I would not be asking my daughter to just ‘accept’ someone flashing at her.

I feel extremely sorry for what you’ve been through and also anyone else who has suffered the same horrendous ordeal. Of course some extremely vulnerable people can carry out hideous crimes, but also many many others won’t. I’m just saying we shouldn’t automatically assume the motive was sexual. It may have been, or just as likely it may not have been. We shouldn’t judge without know the circumstances. I understand how as a young girl the OPs daughter will have found it extremely distressing and I’m not minimalising how horrendous this will have been for her, all I’m saying is without knowing the motive for the nakedness or the reason why he approached her, as the boy has got profound difficulties we shouldn’t be quick to judge his motives. This doesn’t minimalise what the OP’s daughter experienced, it just means people should get the facts before hanging this boy out to dry.

When I was a teen (13 or 14) we had a lovely family next door with a son who had some sort of developmental delay (he was about 12 but functioned as a 2 year old). He had his hand permanently down the front of his pants. This would happen when we visited and also every time they went to the shops or out in public. As a 13 year old I understood why he did this and we all just ignored it. Just explain to your daughter that he cannot help it and in the unlikely event that it happens again she must just ignore him and walk away. I’d definitely mention it to his mum so that she can try to prevent it happening again.

I'm shocked at these responses if someone did that to one of my daughters autism or not I'd be phoning the police

She is in her early teens and therefore old enough to understand that this young man was not doing anything malicious or dangerous. I would have a talk with your daughter rather than this young man’s mother tbh. He is only 16 - just a few years older than your own daughter so still a child himself really and one with special needs.

Some of the responses can only come from parents of autistic kids to be that tolerant .
It's totally ok for OP to be shocked and her daughter alarmed . It's not usual to see naked kids approach and who knows his intent .

@Inthedeep but extremely vulnerable people rape and sexually assault also, many on there, myself included, have testified to that.
we can’t keep minimising girls and women’s right to feel safe.

People with autism can display inappropriate sexual behaviour. Through work I know of one young autistic man who has to have 24hr supervision because he presents a very high risk to children - he has sexual urges towards them and would no doubt act on them if given the opportunity. Having autism is not an excuse to tolerate certain behaviours that are unacceptable in the rest of the population.

The thing is none of us here know the circumstances of the boy, or their family, except maybe the OP - we are all just speculating. Some of us are assuming the boy has severe learning difficulties and developmentally delayed. That the motive wasn’t in anyway sexual, the same way it’s not if a toddler strips off. Others are assuming a sexual motive. None of us know and are jumping to assumptions.

This could well be a one off isolated event and isn’t a long term safe guarding situation, or it could be just one of many issues and events, we just don’t know. However if this was your child would you feel happy reading the comments people on here have written about the boy and his parents, the judgement which has taken place and how much he’s been demonised. Imagine it was your child - you’d be horrified the way he’s been spoken about. I feel extremely sorry for the OP’s daughter and the situation must have been incredibly scary for her, but at the same time people should see this isn’t the same as some average 16 year old having moved towards her naked, but an incredibly vulnerable young adult who equally may need protection.

This is neither fact based nor calm.

"and continuing with home based care is potentially endangering the family, the person themselves and/or others, then yes, residential care may be essential"

It is likely in this case the family is receiving no support at home.

If he has significant global developmental delay and stole he would not be treated the same as someone who didn't.

Op I would say something to his mum, firstly to make sure she's aware and secondly to look for what she intends to do to safeguard going forward. I'd explain to your dd about his disability so she understands but it's also important she knows this isn't something she should have to accept .

That poster expressed herself in rather a crass way, but honestly, if families are not able to cope with a person who has severe disabilities and continuing with home based care is potentially endangering the family, the person themselves and/or others, then yes, residential care may be essential (whether it can be found or funded in practice, mind you, is another matter).

That's not "locking people up because we want to hide them," it's just facing reality.

Talk to his mum. If you have reason to believe she won't listen then ring social services. Ringing the police in this situation will achieve nothing more than ringing social services because that is who they will contact as it will be treated as a safeguarding issue (which includes safeguarding others) as it doesn't sound like he has capacity.

I don't need to understand. Any 16 year old who runs naked towards my child, will be having the police called on them. Being autistic doesn't enable him to get away with this behaviour. It also doesn't absolve him of sexual urges. This needs to never happen again.

You know that because it's your son. You have absolutely no way of applying that to the boy in question.

And where are the comments about the boy being a pervert?
There's comments that he has broken the law, been publicly indecent, and could be fuelled by hormones / sexual feelings, as he is 16, and no autistics are the same, so there is a chance he acted upon sexual urges.

Those above are all fact. That doesn't change or blur the lines because the boy has autism. You are very experienced in autism when it comes to your son, but that doesn't make other autistics the same. (I have a severely autistic close relative. He is non-verbal, and has the capacity to act upon sexual urges.)

There are threads on MN about autistic men / boys that have had restraining orders against them. Who have stalked women online.

Profoundly autistic people are incredibly vulnerable. But not all profoundly autistic people have no sexual desire or control.

He ran at her?

What would he have done if she hadnt moved?

Report via social services. I would say via police except I wouldn't trust them to deal with this appropriately and sensitively.

It absolutely needs reporting and the minimising on here is pathetic.

It may be that it was a one off or it may be that the family is struggling with, for example, violent and sexualised behaviour, and it is time to consider residential care or further support for the family. Even as evidence for a pip claim a report may be useful for the family to show the issues they face.

Ok, I have a child with profound autism. Can people please stop making out he’s some kind of pervert - he has absolutely no understanding of what he’s done “wrong” if he’s profoundly autistic - a lot of autistic people struggle to wear clothes due to sensory issues. What feels like a t shirt to you or I can literally feel like sandpaper to a profoundly autistic person due to their sensory reception being off.

HOWEVER - please can you let his mum know asap. It’s not great for your daughter, and there is a safeguarding implication for him too - I’m sure his mum would want to know that he was engaging in any kind of unsafe behaviour that could cause him to come to harm.

Is nakedness not usual in your family? Everyone's naked under their clothes

weirdo

The mother would want to know.
Just go in and explain and make sure she is aware of the incident and that you are concerned for him and for anyone else who might take offence at such surprising behaviour.
The mother can not address it if she is truly ignorant and doesn't know.

If the young man continues to be naked outside the family will need to screen in their yard.