To wonder how I approach my neighbour about her nude son

Agreed I have a severely autistic 13 year old clearly people with disabilities do have sexual feelings but my son doesn't have the capacity to understand them ,neither does he have the capacity to understand why it's not appropriate to be naked in public,obviously we don't allow him to stand o outside naked ,and are hypervigilent
Peool!e need to understand,that some people are so cognitively disabled they will never learn why such behaviour is wrong
Not that it makes the situation acceptable.

Take out 'keeps' - OP says he regularly stands outside but there's nothing in her post to suggest that the nudity has been an issue before.

I agree that some of the responses on here are shocking. The situation obviously needs to be handled sensitively, but the behaviour shouldn't just be ignored and accepted.

He needs to be safeguarded for one. Dread to think what would happen if someone less accepting encountered him e.g. group of youths or someone with nefarious intentions. Or even if a police car went by and mum wasn't about to explain the situation, could end up being taken to local police station.

Posters saying he had "no intent". No intent to do what exactly? He ran at her. There was intent there to engage with her in some form, either to talk to her, hug her, scare her or who knows? Your daughter has the right to leave the house without being faced with a naked teenager with an intent to engage with her (whatever that might be).

I would calmly go and let mum know. In a kind way, that this incident happened and your worried mainly for her son. However, your daughter is understandably upset at what happened to her and you want to be sure it won't happen again. The mum will probably be mortified. Perhaps you could ask for her mobile number in case you spot him wandering again?

Difficult situation OP, hopefully it is just a one off.

@Nimbostratus100

You are chatting absolute shit and I suspect you do not work with severely autistic people as claimed
Of course the mother needs to know about her son and the OPs daughter has every right to be distressed

No female ever, for any reason, should be expected to tolerate such perversion.

Police now, no excuses.

"YOu are making a huge deal over a nothing."

I have a 16 year old with non verbal autism.
This situation isn't nothing. It's not ok for either of them.
I don't think the going on from those that are doing it about it being a crime and he needs to learn etc is a helpful response.

It is though a safeguarding issue.

There are some talking about him being a child but he will have sexual feelings just like any other 16 year old. Without malicious intent on his part, harm could happen to others and to himself. He also should be given the dignity in keeping with his age.

I went to bed after commenting last night and have now RTFT. And actually, what is coming out loud and clear here is the same old trope that people with disabilities don't have sexual feelings, or even a sexuality. Which is clearly nonsense.

We have no way of knowing if the young man's actions were sexually or sensorily motivated. It doesn't matter, we're talking about the OP's DD, not him. But the sheer number of people who believe that a 16 year old's actions absolutely can't or won't be sexually motivated is astonishing and doesn't paint them as being quite as understanding of disability as they think they are.

Shocked by some of the responses here.

OP - your DD absolutely does not have to “be kind”. Her safety is just as important as this boy.

she was rightly frightened at an older, naked teen running towards her. Because he is bigger and stronger than her and he is naked. That represents a danger. It’s a natural, human response.

nobody can know if his intent was sexual. People with autism have sexual urges.

please speak to the mother.

and well done to your DD for acting quickly and decisively and making sure she was in a place of safety, and for telling you.

Why would you post this in Aibu?
clearly to.get today reactions in reporting this thread .

This message is appalling.

Why should a teenage girl be taught that if she gets on well with a boy when he is clothed, nothing bad has happened if he is naked and chasing her.

The OP does sound like she is being very sensitive with the situation. The boy could easily get attacked if he approached someone in this way who has a family who are not understanding.

I just want to add that your daughter should be praised for such a speedy response in getting herself somewhere safe and telling you.

I had a relative that lived in a residential setting for learning difficulties. My relative wasn't sexually motivated and it hadn't occurred to me that other residents could be. As a teen we went to a party which I dressed up for and one of the residents made a suggestive comment. DM dropped the ball on that one as she was aware that he was not supposed to be in the presence of the care workers alone as he had poor impulse control.

Whether in this case it is "just" a sensory indulgence or this young man is affected by his hormones, I would address it with the mother first and in the future escalate through social services then the police if this behaviour is repeated. Being naked in public and approaching others is a safeguarding concern for him as well as the others involved. Females aren't responsible for managing the behaviour of their naked neighbours. The mum could probably do with additional support, and he is potentially in danger from other members of the public either sexually or if they respond physically to him being a threat.

I will add for the many people minimising this on this thread...

I went to secondary school with a lad who had severe ASD. He was not in classes with any of us and really should have been at a SEN school. By 16 he was a big, strong lad, who meant well.

By 20, he had been arrested for sexual assault after taking his clothes off around 2 younger girls in the woods. He is now a registered sex offender. I don't know what his motivations were but ASD off the table, he committed sexual assault.

Sorry but ASD isn't an excuse for this here.

WTF? There is every need to be scared of a naked male running at her, how absurd to suggest otherwise.

There are some completely bonkers replies to this thread. No way should anyone have to be understanding and kind if they being chased by a naked male. I'd have reported to the police without a second thought. If the mother can't adequately ensure her son isn't scaring people then police and SS do need to be involved.

No it's not OK. My poor neighbour has chased her severe learning needs asd teen back into the house when he escape in the buff. She was mortified. Luckily she has discovered a blanket type thing that he loves feeling of.
Must have been a huge shock for your teen

I think faces face is better. Just relay the facts what happened in a concerned way but without too much emotion. Say you understand it’s difficult but obviously your dd was upset and is worried it will happen again and of course if it happens to other people then they might immediately involve the police. Could she be aware and try to stop it happening again?

Im sure the mum will be mortified

I think the dismissive comments are from men who would love to have a woman run naked towards them they just don't understand our perspective they simply flip whatever scenario to their equivalent without having the empathy or understanding of what it would be like as a woman experiencing this. I really dislike this latest invasion of more and more incel types on here and they keep gaslighting us you just see the hatred to women in their comments. I'm hiding this as it's making me very angry.

Its astounding considering that a high proportiion of the trans demographic are on the spectrum

So thats ok then, they can come into womens spaces because they have ASD

This thread is shocking, not only delusional and dangerous but with a clear lack of understanding of safeguarding issues.

I know a lot a people have kind intentions. But it is incredibly naïve not to realise that this behaviour can also sometimes be sexual. It will be incredibly difficult for your neighbour if they get to a situation where lone female support workers and therapists are not safe to work with the son. In my experience you can't even discount the influence of porn on the attitude towards women that a young person with additional needs has; there's often an awful lot of unsupervised internet acces, for understandable reasons.

And of course no girl should be screening every instance of indecent exposure to check the mental capacity behind the male body. It's just not safe to teach girls that sometimes boundaries should be ignored, we have so few ways of knowing which males will attack us.

You choose to work in that environment! This is like saying “I run into burning buildings all the time in my job, no need to be scared of a bit of fire”

crossposted as seen your last update. Good luck with it and hope your daughter is ok.

You keep going on about her being overprotective.
She's obviously not protective enough if her son is wandering around lunging at young women (girl?) fully naked. The mum is obviously not doing a good enough job of keeping him and others safe and neither are you frankly for worrying about the neighbour's feelings over your own daughter's safety and the safety of the community. There are often mental health issues or childhood traumas in many criminal's past, there can be some undiagnosed disabilities like autism or ADHD it doesn't stop a crime from being a crime just because a person has a diagnosis or is undiagnosed but has an illness or a serious reason to be who he is. It's not an excuse for their behaviour.

I see the #bekind brigade as usual putting the feelings of women and young girls firmly at the bottom of the pile.