Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
CambsAlways · 17/03/2023 17:55

Sounds very OTT to me, more like a safe guarding issue to me! I certainly wouldn’t ask my child to come downstairs, no way! I’d be devastated too. I would be definately want more answers as to why she has to look at him

Dancingonthemoonlight · 17/03/2023 17:55

Not normal at all, I've never had a teacher come unannounced for either of my children (ones in secondary and would have a fair way to travel if they wanted to come see him mind 😂 and the other is at primary) I highly doubt its because you live in a low income area or are high earners etc it's most likely a safeguarding issue.

Fayelina · 17/03/2023 17:53

I’m a TA in a Primary School and this is not unusual, the school I work at does check children at home. I believe this is based on County Council guidance, as we didn’t check in the previous school year.
Hope your child is feeling much better soon.

Justbefair · 17/03/2023 17:49

Probably some school initiative to make teachers do more things they don't agree with? X

Grammarnut · 17/03/2023 17:47

That's unusual. And she came alone, which is very unusual.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 17/03/2023 17:45

Just read ops update that it WASN’T a teacher - that makes more sense.
They have concerns op - ask why.

H007 · 17/03/2023 17:45

I work with several schools that would do it, the LA has an attendance agenda atm and anything below 95% is being challenged.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 17/03/2023 17:43

No way. Really weird. I’m a parent of 4 and a teacher of 20+ years and I’ve never heard of it.
make sure that the head is aware - might be a very odd teacher. It doesn’t sound right to me.

LpPp · 17/03/2023 17:39

My teenage DDs teacher came to the house when she was bunking off and took her in to school 🤣

Inthedarkagain · 17/03/2023 17:12

Oh dear, I missed the 19 pages of responses including the OP's 😬

I still think it's wrong. Anyone who does this with me will get what for!

Inthedarkagain · 17/03/2023 16:56

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:11

I was actually in a meeting on Teams at the time, DS was very reluctant to go downstairs (as said, he wasn't dressed due to spots, and thought the teacher was there to take him to school so panicked).

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

WTAF. I'm devastated.

I would have told her no and it is an invasion of your privacy. She needs to prove that you consented to the policy to be visited. I would email the school to ask for proof of this.

zingally · 17/03/2023 16:45

I've been a teacher for 15 years, across many schools and different parts of the country, and have NEVER seen or heard of this before. Absolutely not normal practice.

Pubesofsoberness · 17/03/2023 16:40

They should probably do it in more schools, having one child in school doesn't mean the other isn't at risk.

BringBackTeletext · 17/03/2023 16:26

OP have you spoken to the school to confirm it’s their actual written policy? Hope your LO is feeling better.

PocketSand · 17/03/2023 16:17

If this is a whole school policy it will be clearly documented on the website. If it is not, the school will have to provide evidence for non-policy action.

Parents need to sign written consent to abide by school policies.

Schools cannot introduce new policies by stealth and assume consent.

Policy is not law and some policies are illegal or do not recognise legal rights.

AviMav · 17/03/2023 16:02

Meandfour · 17/03/2023 15:51

Just want to post this current vacancy here for all the PP on this thread saying this is not normal… this is a job vacancy literally for this purpose! My SIL works for this trust and the school carries out almost daily visits for absent pupils.

One of the requirements of the role is a clean, full driving license. This is not a teacher. People have roles specifically for checking on absent children.

I think people are shocked that someone has visited GIVEN one child attended school and OP rang about the sick child... you wouldn't expect a home visit. Unless there's more to the story

Meandfour · 17/03/2023 16:00

adriftinadenofvipers · 17/03/2023 15:54

Sad indictment of our society... but it's not a teaching role.

I don’t understand your post? OP has pointed out the staff member who visited wasn’t her child’s teacher but a member of the pastoral team. No doubt in a role similar to the one I just posted.

adriftinadenofvipers · 17/03/2023 15:54

Meandfour · 17/03/2023 15:51

Just want to post this current vacancy here for all the PP on this thread saying this is not normal… this is a job vacancy literally for this purpose! My SIL works for this trust and the school carries out almost daily visits for absent pupils.

One of the requirements of the role is a clean, full driving license. This is not a teacher. People have roles specifically for checking on absent children.

Sad indictment of our society... but it's not a teaching role.

Meandfour · 17/03/2023 15:51

Just want to post this current vacancy here for all the PP on this thread saying this is not normal… this is a job vacancy literally for this purpose! My SIL works for this trust and the school carries out almost daily visits for absent pupils.

One of the requirements of the role is a clean, full driving license. This is not a teacher. People have roles specifically for checking on absent children.

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?
sueelleker · 17/03/2023 15:16

Lovelyveg82 · 17/03/2023 13:45

Did the op ever come back and explain how her son got a place at the school despite being out of catchment and…. Regularly late “because outside of catchment area”

what? 30 miles out of catchment?

i assumed they'd moved after the child started at the school.

Lovelyveg82 · 17/03/2023 13:49

This wasn’t a teacher

This was a pastoral safeguarding member of the school staff

I am guessing she knows the law and school policy

Lovelyveg82 · 17/03/2023 13:45

Did the op ever come back and explain how her son got a place at the school despite being out of catchment and…. Regularly late “because outside of catchment area”

what? 30 miles out of catchment?

Wishiwasatsoftplay · 17/03/2023 13:39

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:14

I actually mean I'm stressed this particular morning due to something I cocked up, and the stress of this unexpected visit has compounded it. I've also been covering a role the last 2 weeks (my old role) so am only just winding down from a big workload increase. It's definitely not a long term thing, I WFH with a flexible pattern in a job I like so am usually very happy!

I've now got all sorts of thoughts running through my head, like, are they going to phone SS because DS was reluctant to come to the door? Because he was sitting in pants only while off at home?

Teacher here- not unusual in some areas-
if the school is trying to improve attendance they may make a policy of it (ask around at school gate to see if it is unusual in your school),
if the school has significant safeguarding issues with particular families, they may make a policy of it across the year group in order to avoid tricky conversations with the family at risk who will already be defensive about being singled out
generally schools avoid, bc it is labour intensive, but if they do have staff available for it(sometimes support staff become unexpectedly available through the year to cover a teacher) they will do it, as it is v effective with certain issues (ie attendance)
covid has made it much more commonplace as a way to get a handle on attendance problems across the whole school
it makes parents very uncomfortable if they think it can happen, and so can change a culture of poor attendance across the school,
in partOcular if this is what a school is doing they will focus on absences that tag onto a holiday (you mentioned the inset day) as commonly people take holidays like this to avoid costs, and phonevthe child in sick.
unlikely to be a first step in a safeguarding issue though- so unless you have had some previous safeguarding chat with them I would be worried about this.
no teacher will be worried about him sitting in his pants, I promise!

DahliaMacNamara · 17/03/2023 13:35

@Onnabugeisha has it. If you aren't involved in education, you would be shocked at how much time can be taken up by serious safeguarding matters. I don't mean knocking on doors, either. If there's a whole school policy of sending pastoral staff out to check absentees, there will be a reason for it.

Onnabugeisha · 17/03/2023 12:53

WalkingThroughTreacle · 17/03/2023 09:58

What's with all the melodramatic "eyes on" nonsense? Do some in the teaching profession think they're in MI5 or something? When did you decide that words like "see" were no longer sufficient?

As an aside, those of you who think it's perfectly fine for a member of school staff to turn up unannounced at your door when you've reported your child off sick, I can imagine how you would feel if your employer did that to you. You wouldn't like it, because it's an intrusive invasion of privacy and potentially bullying. If you have genuine concerns about a child's safety or welfare then you should report it to the police or social services. Otherwise, stay in your lane. Your authority beyond the school gates is no more than any other ordinary member of the public.

Spoken by someone who has no idea how even the worst of abuse and neglect is often very well hidden behind closed doors. More often than not, there are no visible signs of abuse or neglect outside the home. More often than not, abused/neglected children appear to be very happy when outside the home..this is literally because they know they are safer in public or at school than at home.

It’s utter naivety to think you will spot anything concerning based on behaviour or appearance outside the closed doors of home.

Swipe left for the next trending thread