To be finding all the days so lonely with a toddler

Or How not to be a perfect mother by Libby Purves. It's so refreshing (though dated probably)

To be honest 3 days of nursery and a toddler group on the other 2 days is plenty, you don’t need a schedule for every single morning and afternoon. It’s good for small children to have downtime where they can just play with toys, read stories and not be ‘stimulated’ for once. I feel like we do too much to keep kids ‘entertained’ but its really because the parents don’t want to interact with them and play ‘boring’ games.

When mine were small i just took them where i wanted to go. Heart definitely sank at prospect of park or playground on my own with them. I think because you said you were lonely, my suggestions were around ways of making other friends in the same boat. It seems only very recently that all this childhood enrichment became a thing. Previously (well in my experience) it was all about keeping parents sane.
I'd invite people to mine, go to theirs, meet them at the park so we could chat/moan whatever while the kids played. Obviously keeping an eye on them and playing referee.

Years ago I read a book called Nature's Masterpiece by Libby Purves. I recall a bit that made me laugh about some mum's using bathtime as enriching water play, and then the others (me!) bunging child in to bath to splash about to free up the time to sit on the loo/side of bath and paint our toenails.

All the making memories stuff on sm, coupled with most people being at work now, can make motherhood during toddler years lonely. So that's what you could be looking at...make more friends (or at least comrades for these difficult times)

I remember those times, they were so boring. I used to invite friends over. One of my friends would come over for ‘crisp night’ and we’d just sit eating crisps and having a laugh. It was really refreshing to have some adult company.

This could help if it’s really getting you down

I mean, am I the only one whose heart secretly sinks at another visit to the park or soft play or a kids farm? I mean, I do it because ds enjoys it and it’s lovely to see him happy but equally cost is prohibitive every day for some of these activities and energy does wane somewhat!

To be honest no most people don't love it but I'm now bloody grateful it's even an option. Having a child during the pandemic where we could do none of those things, parks were physically locked and groups were closed has really made me appreciate just how much we take things for granted.

If your just looking for a moan then moan away but lots of posters have given you some really useful support and you're ignoring most of them which is coming across as quite rude.

Any flexibility to swap work days?

Being back at work is trickier. People are naturally less available than they were on mat leave.

Go back to work FT

Get to stay and play type groups in churh/community halls. You'll get to talk to people there.

Afternoons do drag. Do the park trip then. Plan your weekly shop for one, kids love a trolley ride.
Get him helping with chores. He's old enough to start to join in "cooking".

Why not start one? Is there a local venue you could meet other parents at? Soft play, a community space or even organising a meet up at a local park for other local parents / carers. If there's nothing else on then others may jump at the chance of attending a less structured meet up.

Tbh my life was like your 2-5 when my baby was wee. There was no one coming home to relieve that and every day would be the same until she got big enough to be good company.

It sounds like you’re waiting for someone else to be the entertainment and focus but you made this human and it’s you they want.

Fill that 2-5 with something you plan, painting, play doh, baking biscuits, going to the park… something different each day, something that stimulates them more than tv could and engage in it with them… something you can both look forward to

It’s 3hrs your alone with them
not 3 years if you want something to happen you can make it happen

Friends, park, farm/ pet shop, shopping, a bit of telly, baking, crafts, swimming, soft play, museum, …

Also, tv

Playdates
outing to the shop for one thing you need
Borrow a neighbour’s dog for a walk / visit (Borrow my Doggy)
playground

I agree with you, hated it with my first. Luckily now we have the school run 😁

I feel you OP I like to be up and out early but sometimes I find our day is ‘over’ by lunch time. Then the lingering afternoon until you start tea. I like to buy little craft activities like you sometime see in shops like paint your own Easter egg / paint by numbers / playdoh I find that kills an hour or two on the boring afternoons

Look for stay and plays rather than structures groups. Things in a library tend to be much more casual and easier for conversation and the same with stay and plays.

I think it’s because when you look online around my area there’s absolutely loads to do, but it’s pretty much all on at the same time! It would be nice if it was spread through the day a little bit more, but I get that wouldn’t work for most people.

If there's lots on then find another group where the children play run riot
and use it as a chance to talk to other parents as it sounds like you want adult company.

That way you won't be as lonely and your son will get time to play.

You dont need to be out all the time. Start encouraging some independant play, pop a film on and sit together and watch some of it, you don't need to entertain them 24/7, they're your days off too

It’s hard, my kids are teenagers now but I can still remember that feeling of time slowing down and being pretty lonely at times, despite lots going on overall.

it’ll get better when the weather warms up and you can sit in parks, I used to go alone but chat to anyone else while there.

or book a babysitter for one of the afternoons and go out alone for a mooch around the shops, sit in a coffee shop and do a bit of people watching. Or go to a gym class, maybe one with a crèche?

it’s all ebb and flow at this stage, it’s about getting through the weeks and finding a new rhythm often. Don’t be too wedded to the routine you’re in and try things, and if they don’t work - no biggie, on to the next.

preschool brings friendships and play dates that are more successful in my experience.