To be finding all the days so lonely with a toddler

Totally feel you! I’m a morning person so always full of energy for activities/parks/groups/swimming etc then home lunch, nap and it’s those few hours until hubby is home and your not as full of energy. 2.5 year old doesn’t like to play independently and it’s ok to not want to play for hours on end and to find that boring but still want to be with your toddler a few days a week.

I also used to find the afternoons hard. Especially between 2-5 like you said after my son had napped.
We would still try and go out as I hated being stuck at home.
So a routine might be go to a morning toddler group or something like park/feed the ducks, then home for lunch and nap and then in the afternoons we would go do the food shop (take our time!), maybe go into town, visit grandparents, visit a friend, go to the library.
But the afternoons were hard and lonely. I never did manage to make any mum friends!

If he's napping, make the most of it! I know what you mean about feeling a bit starved of adult conversation but I so so miss maternity leave now when life is so busy with school-aged children and working full-time. Do you have any interests you can pursue? Like dancing, exercise, crafting or learning a language? Even just catching up on TV series or reading!

I have an 18 month old and one day off during the week with her and I often think afternoons can be dull. Our mornings feel manic, by the time we are both up and dressed, had breakfast, walked the dog it’s time for playgroup and then when we get back it’s time for lunch and nap. And then she wakes up and I just can’t be arsed to do anything else but equally it’s boring staying in!

There are some nice little play activities on Pinterest that you can just set up and let them get on with it if you are interested in looking.

For us it doesn’t help that my body wants to relax as it’s Friday but she won’t allow that 😂

I've gotta admit, I love being by myself, or just with my kids, so I'm sure I'm not really going to understand how you feel.

But yes, you're spot on with the whole "days are long but the years are short"... it absolutely feels like the days go obv forever sometimes, and then all of a sudden you have a bunch of teenagers and you'd love to just go back to those toddler days just for an afternoon and experience it again.

Do you have any pre- children friends who are ever around during the day? Even if it's just for a phone call, to hear another adult voice? Or anyone you could invite over for coffee now and then?

I definitely think that once the weather is warmer it helps because you'll tend to be in and out of the garden with the kid/s and find more things to busy yourself with

I know you said you didn't necessarily want suggestions of things to do, but I'm just going to say that baking or making playdough, or creating art with pasta etc are all great things you can do with a toddler that don't involve having to go out again but might just help break up that long stretch in the afternoon?

I think you just need to use your imagination, OP. So what if all the shopping is online? There must be times when you just fancy some chocolate or forgot to buy onions or something. Then you pop to the shop, via the swings. Or (my personal fave) put him up on a chair at the kitchen sink with a ton of plastic and bubbles, while you do some cooking.
Then you wash the kitchen floor 😀

(I do understand they aren’t on in the afternoon - I just mean they’re a good place to make friends).

Can you try church playgroups? They tend to be unstructured so it’s really easy to get chatting to other mums. Cheap, too.

I know how you feel OP, I have a one year old and I'm incredibly lucky to have the option of going to my parents on days when it's just the two of us, without the option I would feel exactly as you do. I am obsessed with my daughter, she has improved my life a million times over, but entertaining her one on one all day long can be really daunting (I'm a FTM). I hope you can find some solutions, I'm sorry I don't have any but sending solidarity x

Walk after lunch, park & playground, after school lots of children arrive so toddler will be entertained. Home at 4 pm for tea.

Nobody is saying it isn't...

But this isn't a constructive conversation. What's the point in endless replies saying, "yes it is hard." Better that posters share ways of making it less difficult and lonely for OP, surely.

I do think it's a mindset thing. I sometimes have days where I find it lonely and slow going but the best days are always when I make sure we get out in the morning and when I embrace the slower pace of life.

I think most of our posts are acknowledging that it's hard, hence offering suggestions. OP said she was lonely right there in her first post, so my responses were to suggest ways of combating that, as well as a bit of sympathy. I do think it's hard, and I'm grateful that when my children were small, there were more people about during the day.

I’m really surprised by the comments here.

im totally with you OP. 2-5 is really hard.

I do understand, DD’s nap has just shifted from 12-2 until 1-3 so we have a shorter afternoon but it’s actually hard to fill it because there’s not as much time iyswim. We go out but the time we get somewhere it’s not long til we need to leave to get back for 5pm dinner. Sometimes I just give her a bath then go to the small park at the end of the road.

I think people are just trying to help with suggestions. But yes, like others, I am struggling to see why you can't embrace these 2 days with your little one.

Most toddler groups and activities are on in the morning because that's the time of day that most mothers struggle. The kids need out and to burn energy off before they nap. Then the afternoons pass more easily.

If you need more of a stay and play type group then have a look around all your local churches. I know one mum who lives quite rurally who set up her own in the local church hall. They took donations of toys to start them off and it's grown and grown to become a huge success.

If you are finding the afternoons to be your more difficult time of day then you need to find ways to pass the time more painlessly. Coffee afternoons at other mums' houses are a great way to share the burden. A PP mentioned some afternoons sitting together with snacks and a movie. You don't have to be running yourself ragged every afternoon.

My toddler wakes from his nap at 2. So that's 5 hours to fill til bedtime. Similar to yourself it's really only 2-5 that's an issue because at 5 we all have dinner together then it's bath time, stories and down for bed at 7. 3 hours from 2-5 can be filled by a movie together, some pottering at home, playing in the garden, helping with laundry, helping to bake, a wander to the shops.

Today we'll be meeting a friend and her toddler at a nearby café where they have a little play area. We'll have a coffee while the kids play. Then I'll take a slow stroll home with him to get some veg for tonight's dinner. I slow the pace to fill the afternoons. Toddlers like to dawdle so it's a good opportunity to slow your own pace of life. Going to by broccoli is literally an activity. Stick some earphones in and listen to an audiobook while you're out with him- I do that. I can still hear him and chatter back to him but I'm also listening to my favourite podcasts

Are you feeling a little down OP? I filled my time with my first because I couldn’t stand the quiet or boredom because I was depressed. I may be off the mark but wanted to ask the question just in case it was the right one.
I am Sahm now, dc3 is 4 yrs old and I get bored sometimes but I’m happy enough so it’s fine.

Op it seems like a stay and play type of group would suit you. Is there any reason why you can't ask others in your local area if they want to meet up for something similar?

You say you don't want lists and wanted a moan, which is fine. But your original post read as though you were looking for advice and that's why posters have taken the time to give suggestions and advice.

I sometimes take mine to the pub late afternoon and we have a drink and an early dinner. Saves having to feed us both at home and gives us something to do. He loves it too... we take some colouring and they have some games like jenga there so we can build blocks whilst we wait.

You’re posting to moan about spending 2 afternoons a week with your own kid. It’s quite sad tbh!

I mean, am I the only one whose heart secretly sinks at another visit to the park or soft play or a kids farm? I mean, I do it because ds enjoys it and it’s lovely to see him happy but equally cost is prohibitive every day for some of these activities and energy does wane somewhat!

Why on Earth are you doing a ‘treat’ activity every day? That’s not going to help him in any way, just set up unrealistic expectations about constantly being entertained in ‘fun, stimulating’ activities, tire him out and make him unable to occupy himself. Not the mention the cost.

DD is 3.5 and goes to nursery full time. We probably do something like soft play or a petting farm every 2-3 weeks on the weekends. In between we visit family/friends, go for beach walks, she comes on errands with me, go to the park, occasionally bake or do some kind of activity at home.

I’m really not surprising so many people find parenting so stressful, they make it stressful. It doesn’t need to be.

I found this when mine were smaller so after groups I'd ask if anyone wanted to come for a coffee. I now have some amazing mum friends to fill the days!

No, you're not the only one.
My work and life pattern was the same as yours and I absolutely loathed my afternoons at home. Like you, I could tolerate the mornings (Thank you Tumble Tots and Jo Jingles!) but detested the afternoons.
It really was just a case of clock watching and getting through.
Fortunately, despite the seeming endlessness, it's a very short period of the parenting 'journey'. Mine are now 20/30s and it's a distant memory. It's not realistic to expect to enjoy everything about parenting or every stage of their lives, and sometimes you just have to plough on with your eye on the big picture and know it will pass.
I think part of the problem is that we feel we should be enjoying it. Sometimes it helps just to reframe it as a chore to get through and keep your expectations low.

I think this post illustrates how different people's needs can be as parents. When my 4 year old was 2, i worked three days. We went to one group on one of my days off and met with friends of mine maybe every few weeks. We also visited his grandparents once a month and had video calls with them every few days. I quite enjoyed pottering at home, doing activities, getting him involved in chores and going on wee trips to the park (we didn't tend to go to soft play or expensive things like that except as a treat). On difficult days when he was being a pain in the butt, or when he'd kept me awake the night before and i was knackered, i did clock watch, waiting for my husband to take a turn, but I wouldn't have said it was the norm. I would really struggle with meeting people or going out every day, it would just overwhelm me.