Can anyone give me advice on how to get a child back after Social services put them in Foster Care

Exactly @Purplefoxes and yet there's still people expressing sympathy for the parents.
'Aww I can't blame them, they must have wanted to keep the baby so much'.. etc etc. Bloody maddening and more still of the (am broken record on this) 'it's their parental rights'...😡

Just came on here to say that have you seen the current news? That poor baby from the run away couple has been found. Dead. An 8 week old baby who should have been protected by the people who brought them into the world. The parents abused drugs and already had other children taken into care.. would you want that on your conscience? It's a tragedy. Thank about the child and their quality of life. They did not ask to be born to drug addicted parents. If the parents are a suicide risk even more reason for them not to have the child.

I agree, if the children got taken away it’ll be the parents fault, not a burden for the children to bear.

I think you want the child back for the parents’ sake, not the child’s. And the child was taken for a reason. A good one.

The court process is usually on going if the child is under an interim care order.Each situation is different and depends on many factors, including the age of the child/children involved. Sometimes if they are very young the risk of social services etc pushing for them to be adopted. If they are older their feelings and wishes are in considered. The child should be represented by a legal guardian throughout the whole process and their role is to be the voice for the child. As I said before the number one thing the parent can do is demand a detox followed by residential rehabilitation treatment and demonstrate a genuine desire to get clean and prove to authorities they are willing to do what ever is required to get their child back if they are given the right support and a chance to do so.

There was a post on here a while back by a lady who got her child back from foster care after a year. My memory is hazy but she definitely said that she had to keep asking social services what they needed to see and what needed to change for her to be able to be the child’s carer again. And she did everything they asked no matter how unreasonable or stupid she secretly thought the request was.

So I guess the starting point is ffor your relative to engage positively with social services as much as possible. If the social worker isn’t helpful get a lawyer.

OP - are you the parent by any chance? I may be way off, but that was my first thought.

Getting clean is the ONLY possible place to go with this.

No social worker will consider rehoming a child with a using addict. And nor should they.

A parent who is desperate to have their child back has to show this with action. Narcotics Anonymous and depending on the drug of choice, Gp can intervene - methadone programme for example.

As others have said, you should speak to the worker assigned with the case, but priorty has to be given to the wellbeing of the child which is why getting completely clean is so essential.

It sounds like a heartbreaking situation. and there isn't enough support or understanding of addiction, but there are some good resources out there and the addict should try to access as many as possible. But ultimately, only the mum can make herself get clean.

For the addiction: speak to narcotics anonymous. Someone who is clean and sober will be able to come and meet them and take them to a meeting( it won’t let me post links here, Google uk narcotics anonymous there is a helpline)

for the child proceedings: speak to child law advice line or rights of women family law line. They should be entitled to legal aid as that is one of the categories left still funded ( child subject to care proceedings)
Can’t post the links but child law advice is an amazing website it’s a charity and they also have some useful guides

as someone who has seen both sides ( I’m a mum who got sober and changed for my child life is truly amazing, plus I’ve worked in law & seen many parents who don’t get well and sadly lose the child). All you can do is offer practical support & know when you have to let go if they won’t accept the help
good luck

I also think the child's views and opinions should be taken into account and the parents should respect this. Would they take the child away from Foster carers if they said they didn't feel safe about returning to the parents care?

If you have anymore questions I think I can help with most of them, again best wishes

I have first hand experience with the same situation. I would like to applaud you for your empathy. The only way they have a chance to get the child back is to access local authority drug services. They must push for a clinical detox and then straight to a residential rehabilitation facility. This is possible and will be paid for by the local authority. They must get a family court solicitor for court appearances. The only chance is for the parent to become and stay abstinent from substances as soon as the detox begins. There are many hoops to jump through but if they give themselves a chance it is not impossible because when recovery begins strength, self respect and self belief kicks in. Good luck and my very best wishes.

The best place for the child is with their parents

A lot of research does show that children in foster care have far poorer health, educational and social outcomes even compared to children who come from similar dysfunctional backgrounds who stay with their birth parents so I get where you’re coming from.

The foster care system is in itself traumatising and some kids luck out with a great permanent foster care family but many don’t and have upwards of 10 foster placements.

And of course it goes without saying, all that doesn’t mean that no child should be removed from their home. Some parents are a literal danger to their children and I’ve seen some young people thrive in care.

OP, if you really don’t want your relatives in foster care with ‘strangers’ would you consider doing a kinship placement?

Personally I’d never let the child of any relative or close friend go into care if I could help it, but I understand everyone’s situation is different.

Exactly. As I said above, I know someone who fosters the children who have been removed from their parents. They give them a stable loving home and meet all their needs, which cannot always be said for the children who are returned to their birth parents.

If you genuinely believe that 'the best place for a child is with their parents' I suggest that you go and look at a couple of news websites.

As well as being drug addicts it is likely the child was neglected. Children are often removed as the last resort. There would have been many steps leading up to this for parents to step up I’m sure. The child needs to come first. Addiction often isn’t a blip. If they are now free of drugs as may look at it. Are they allowed contact? That would be a step. Or for a family member to be granted care of the child but only if it is safe to do so.

It's not a straight yes or no.

Courts will take into account all evidence.

Such as child's age, length of time in care, child's welfare etc.

Sometimes they grant visitation as an initial or as a permanent solution.

But it's always sad when these situations occur - addiction is an illness. It's great you want to support but I would be prepared for a long journey and remember the courts have ultimate decision making and will always do what they think is best for the child and that may differ from what you all think. You'll need to make sure the parent who has addiction is able to navigate this without relapsing.

Want to add I can’t comment on what’s best for the child, maybe a well settled home with experienced foster carers is best. But a drug free life has to be better for anyone and I think that’s where your relative has to start— they need to want to be drug free, not just I’ll give up drugs if you give me my child back.
Goid luck, I hope whatever happens your relative can get their life back.

Living with an addicted parent is absolute hell. Think carefully if you want to facilitate the poor child going back into that environment.

www.drugaddictsanonymous.org.uk
www.talktofrank.com/get-help/find-support-near-you
www.nhs.uk/live-well/addiction-support/advice-for-the-families-of-drug-users/
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/recreational-drugs-alcohol-and-addiction/drug-and-alcohol-addiction-useful-contacts/

Some links that might give you info for support.

The best place for the child is with their parents

I just can't agree with statements like this, there's too many cases where this plan has been followed and its not been in the best interest of the child. Far far too much is placed on the parents 'rights' and little attention on their responsibilities. And the 'oh its someone else's fault they neglected, deprived, assaulted, injured their child because they just weren't told not to' is ridiculous

OP it’s really hard to watch family making choices that hurt themselves. You’re seeing a lot of the anger that you presumably felt at first about the way they have failed their child. It’s good for them that you’ve seen past that bit and now feel able to provide support.

I would suggest you need to be very careful, though, about making the return of the child the focus of that support. You need to support them to get well and be the sorts of people who would be good for a child, not try and get the child to support them.

I think you also need to be careful about how much you can really give. If they used drugs to such an extent they lost their child, and they are still using them, this isn’t a blip and it’s unlikely to be helpful for any of you to look at it that way. This sounds like a case of a lack of good tools and practices for managing mental health. With a history of suicides in the family this may be a vulnerable area for you all and you probably don’t have a family culture of managing it well. So it’s likely an uphill battle that means confronting more than simply their behaviour and attitudes. You also have the issue of them still being addicted, which probably makes them manipulative and untrustworthy. So have good barriers in place to protect yourself.

In terms of practical, inexpensive support, there is Narcotics Anonymous ukna.org
And Mind might be a good starting point for looking for mental health support www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/

And you might find other support for you at Nar-Anon a charity for the family and friends of people with drug problems:
www.nar-anon.co.uk

It is not the children's responsibility to stop their parents killing themselves due to lack of their presence.
The pressure on those poor children is toxic.
The message you are sending OP, is a very immature one:
the children are a crutch to stop mummy killing herself. How damaging.
I'm saying that as a child that was abused emotionally and sexually by parents. It is not ok.

There are many things that would help, but none of them guarantee that their dc will return, and, being honest, they might do better where they are.

Quitting drugs, and generally living a lifestyle more conducive to a child's wellbeing - reasonable home, job, able to support their dc's health needs and education.

I'd imagine a good starting point might be to see what family contact is in place and focus on this being positive for the dc. Also (if this isn't already in place), demonstrating an ability to put the dc's needs above their own, and to be positive about the people currently caring for their dc.

Yes, dc who have left their parent's care do return to live with them sometimes (ever where a full care order is in place this does sometimes happen) but only when there is a significant change.

Even if the dc do not return to live with them, it doesn't mean that their relationship is unimportant. Being the best supporting, caring parent they can be still matters.

And what if they do get returned and the parent neglects them again and is caught up with the drugs?

You need to think about the child as well. You’re very focussed on the adult, but they’re an adult. They have options and choices.

The child doesn’t. They’re just stuck there reliant on someone who, from everything you’ve said, has an addiction that is still a bigger priority. What about their future and protecting that?

From what you describe the parents still don't seem stable enough to be good parents and the children have a chance of a more stable, better life ahead of them in a foster home. If the birth parents got what they wanted, the children would be pulled back into the same turmoil again. Are the birth parents allowed contact? That would enable some sort of relationship to be maintained for the future if they were.