Can anyone give me advice on how to get a child back after Social services put them in Foster Care

@FunnyPlayer
This is meant kindly, you have little to no chance of getting your child back whilst you are on drugs
Get back to rehab, do it properly, ditch any dodgy boyfriends, get clean and work with the social workers

I have just read your post and I have been though the same I don't k ow what to do I went to rehab with my new born I come back after a week they took my boy I brought my boy up without drugs and it's the best life I've had I've done drugs all my life now they have took my baby for not communicating I'm doing drugs to cope with the pain

Speaking as someone who is in recovery from addiction, ultimately the decision to start the road to recovery has to come from within yourself. You can offer all the help, support, rewards and signposting in the world but if the person isn't truly ready to tackle the addiction themselves it's pointless.

Forget getting the child back for now, they're safe. If you really want to help your family member offer to go with them to a first appointment at NA/AA/GP and local substance misuse recovery service. Then let the professionals take over. If the family member really wants it, they can go to the appointments themselves the next time.

Oh ffs!

>I want to support the parents to at least try to get the child back (I don't know if it's even possible but for the child's sake we should do all we can do)
If you're acting 'for the child's sake' is returning them to parents who are still abusing substances actually in the child's best interests or are you only thinking of what the parents want?

@mixedrecycling I agree with your reply, well meaning as the post was. I don't think OP should start offering to house the older one. It's a big whole other level of involvement and could end in tears.

Zombie thread.

The fact they might overdose if their kids are taken to a foster home is exactly the reason why they sadly shouldn't be caring for the child at this time. They need to be clean of drugs fully, and doing regular tests to prove it.
You can support the parents by encouraging them into therapy, rehab, NA etc. Abstinence is hard and not a one way road, they will relapse.
But right now you should not be trying to stop the social from trying to make sure the kids are in a drug free environment.
I hope they can get well and keep contact with the kids, maybe even get them back at some point. Be supportive from afar to them.

Sorry to hear that. I think you’re best off starting a new thread as people will miss your post here and look at the op instead.

Hi my kids were taken of me a year ago and I was told that they will not be allowed to come home till they are 18 I need advice on wat to expect they said that they were in danger we have done everything that the ss wanted

@Micinka You also might be better to start your own thread to discuss the issues you are having.

@Micinka No one on here can tell you that. You need to work with your child's social worker as the previous poster said. There will be meetings with lots of professional as well as you where a plan will be made and you will be told what you need to do in order to resume care of your child. A solicitor can't really help you with this.

Speak to your children's social worker, they will be able to tell you what needs to change for your children's care order to end.

Khant anyone hellp me with me son taking back from foster care last 2 weeks I'm hawe court order and that taking me son from foster care solicitors close case with me I khant hawe appell for that how long I'm weit for taking me son back

OP you sound like you’re being really reflective and motivated in this situation, don’t beat yourself up now for how you responded at first because these events are like a bomb going off in a whole family and it’s complicated.

I am going to respond briefly as I am going on the school run for now. I’m a social worker in child protection services but in Ireland, not UK and my understanding is that in the UK timeframes for change and long term decisions are a lot tighter.

My initial thought on reading this was “get those kids out of care first”. Did the social workers ask anyone in the family to take over their care? They will be so much better off with family or friends that in state care, are you in a position to offer to care for them? Or someone else who knows them and cares about them?

Addiction is really hard and usually a response to trauma. Therapy, regular addiction counselling, maybe rehab to begin with etc however I would say that if parents have addiction that led to neglect they will always need support around their parenting and a network of people supporting them and their children from their family and community.

Another factor I’m wondering about is whether the children received good enough care when their parents were sober? Are they able to meet their needs when they aren’t using drugs or are there other vulnerabilities around their mental health, any domestic violence etc.

Or continuing to live in a house share or bedsit - there's nothing inherently wrong with that, many of us have! - but provide a welcoming family home to visit regularly, spend a few days, come for a family lunch or just a chat, bring their laundry, and generally be available in the way parents usually are when a young person leaves home.

Living together has its own challenges and strains!

You can do a lot to support the children by being involved in their lives, even if they are in care, and that can make a huge difference. A family member that visits regularly, takes an interest in their lives, always remembers birthdays, is in touch to say 'good luck' when they have an exam or test - just knowing that there is someone outside the system who cares enough about them to consistently be there.

Even more so once they leave care, that relationship can be an anchor.

Tbh I think that would be a more constructive use of your care, time and energy. Of course encourage the parent(s) to make the changes they need to, for their own sakes. But separate that from whether the child(ren) do or don't ever return to their care, and focus on making the current set up as good as possible for everyone.

i get what your saying regarding the need for the child to be safe. but addiction isnt in the end,down to the person choosig the drugs over the children. who would do that.what kind of person? they wouldnt. they dont.its never ever that simple

You need to put the child first in your thinking, if the parents won't someone should

Stay in touch with the child who aged out and left home. They may need financial help, emotional support, or help with employment and education. If you could offer space in your home, the older child might be interested in living safely with you rather than couch surfing, house share, or cramped bedsitter. It woukd be wise to create a contract before moving in with rights and responsibilities clearly discussed.

@Lavender14 but if the child is well settled with the Foster family and doesnt want to return to the birth family, but the birth family wants them back? What happens then?

@MichelleScarn you left off half my sentence which continued "and the parents in the right place to support and care for them in the way the child deserves." If the parents aren't in the right place to be able to parent safely then of course the child shouldn't be returned to them yet. It's not about the rights of the parents, it's about recognising the needs of the child. And parents need to demonstrate their commitment.

Being removed from a family you've grown up in is deeply traumatising in itself and @BarbaraofSeville I know this because I work with young people in care so I have direct experience. The outcomes for young people in care are much poorer than they are for children who are successfully reunified with their parents ONCE the parents have successfully addressed the issues that led to the child being removed in the first instance. Foster care is not an ideal solution. Many young people will have multiple changes in Foster home particularly from puberty onwards. You're looking at as many as 9+ placements over a couple of years. That leads on to children becoming transient which is why a quarter of the UK homeless population has been in care at some stage. Obviously there are some young people who are really resilient and do very well and who have very stable Foster placements who understand how to help the young person manage their trauma. But in an ideal world those Foster parents would never have had to meet those children in the first place. That's why the best possible outcome is a parent who is able to become healthy mentally and physically and who is able to parent their own child in the way they should be parented. That's why social workers should always be working toward supporting family reunification unless there has been certain types of abuse which would mean reunification would always be unsafe for the child. Lots of addicts do recover and become fully functioning healthy people capable of parenting.

This!!!!!!⬆️

Upsetting though it may be, no child should ever be in the custody of a 'still drug-using' parent!

I'm an ex-addict. Nearly 14 years clean.

There is absolutely no point in even thinking about getting the child back until the parent/s are clean and have been that way for a long time. It is grossly unfair, negligent even, to the child. The child's needs (not the parents or indeed your wants) MUST come first.

Sustained change can only ever come from within. You can't make them quit. Nobody can. The decision to stop and stay stopped will only happen when that person has their 'lightbulb moment'.

I do have sympathy for the parents. We all say things like 'You must be mental to use that stuff'. Well that is true. Nobody in their right mind gets addicted. There was clearly some underlying issue that they wanted to blot out. I bet they were offered what I am assuming was heroin at a particularly low point in their life. We all know what that stuff does to people - to say 'Yes' to it indicates you really don't give a shit about yourself, that your self-worth is non-existent and that you need something to make the pain go away.

Having said that, none of it is of any use to a child. A child needs care and stability. It will not get that from a drug addict. A child needs (and deserves) to come first. It will never come first to an addict. You need to accept the fact that your relative may not get the child back and that this may very well be in the child's best interests.