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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To post lingerie shots on my social media..

953 replies

Junglejane8 · 26/02/2023 22:35

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

OP posts:
Anoisagusaris · 27/02/2023 08:39

BellePeppa · 27/02/2023 08:01

More pro female doesn’t mean getting your validation from likes on social media whilst in your underwear. It means having belief in yourself regardless of what strangers (you’ll never meet) think! I’m sick of women thinking ‘empowerment’ means posing in your underwear and looking sexy for strangers 🙄

Spot on.

notthisagainforest · 27/02/2023 08:38

No. You are seeking compliments from others. You need to carry on working on yourself. It's cringy. Please don't

Daisybee6 · 27/02/2023 08:36

Personally I think it's a bad idea

If you don't get many likes or if someone makes a negative comment you'll be focusing on that instead of any positives

ReneBumsWombats · 27/02/2023 08:36

Does it make a difference if you're not doing it to be "empowered"? How about if you just do it because you think it'll be fun?

MXVIT · 27/02/2023 08:36

am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.

Because in the case of vain and attention seeking, it is. I'm not having a go here I'm just stating a fact.

Posting the pictures to social media is you saying "look how good I look, everyone please see this and agree with me and tell me how good I look"

If you want to post them, go for it! But FGS just at least own your reasoning for posting them and the reaction you want.

Fatty91 · 27/02/2023 08:36

No I wouldn't post them keep them for yourself to look back on.
I find it very trashy and attention seeking to be posting half naked photos on social media.

drpet49 · 27/02/2023 08:35

Funnily enough I know someone who has done exactly this. Get the obligatory “you look great” etc comments but I just roll my eyes.

ElephantInTheBoxRoom · 27/02/2023 08:35

I would cringe for you and think it was a promo for an Only Fans 😂

HeddaGarbled · 27/02/2023 08:33

I even heard from a friend that I had inspired her to book her own shoot

Changing the world for women, one ‘shoot’ at a time.

maddening · 27/02/2023 08:32

KillingLoneliness · 27/02/2023 07:54

You feel empowered because you feel confident and that you at owning your insecurities, at least that’s how I felt.

Feeling empowered and being empowered are 2 different things imo

Bansheed · 27/02/2023 08:31

You are looking for external validation in a hyper sexualised fashion. That is not empowering. It is the opposite. It is needy and will be interpreted as such. Which makes you vulnerable.

Gym wear or a bikini on holiday is where I would draw the line, if you are looking for encouragement on your fitness journey. l could be more appropriate but still, in this context, something feels off as i think you want to validate yourself sexually.

Justalittlebitduckling · 27/02/2023 08:26

Just think through everyone on your socials and check you wouldn’t mind anyone seeing them. Aunt Marge etc

mincedtart · 27/02/2023 08:26

BellePeppa · 27/02/2023 08:01

More pro female doesn’t mean getting your validation from likes on social media whilst in your underwear. It means having belief in yourself regardless of what strangers (you’ll never meet) think! I’m sick of women thinking ‘empowerment’ means posing in your underwear and looking sexy for strangers 🙄

This.

Lemonbell · 27/02/2023 08:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

justasking111 · 27/02/2023 08:23

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/guides/article-6156735/Why-post-social-media-stop-getting-mortgage.html

Landlords, employers and the above check your social media

RadioactiveWear · 27/02/2023 08:23

I’ve just thought of another. One of my relatives has had loads of photoshoots. They all have a fuzzy lens, and are all hair bouffed up with loads of makeup. All poses are standing up hands on hip, lying down, hands cupped under face. Underneath people comment things like “oh, you are so beautiful”.

It’s embarrassing. I’ve just never felt the need to go massively out of my way to get someone to say “oh, you’re so beautiful”. It’s massively narcissistic. Do people not realise that people really do not go around life, thinking about them and their looks, their body shape or what they are up to? That your insecurities are founded because others are giving you that much headspace?

They’re not. They’ve got their own crap to deal with. It’s massively narcissistic.

Mylittlesandwich · 27/02/2023 08:22

I posted mine. And the suitable ones from our couples shoot. I looked amazing. I felt amazing and I even heard from a friend that I had inspired her to book her own shoot.

SweetSenorita · 27/02/2023 08:20

I'm a wannabe competitive bodybuilder, so showing my body off in my glitzy bikini is just par for the course. It's what we do 🤷

Nowt more to say.

ehb102 · 27/02/2023 08:15

KillingLoneliness · 27/02/2023 07:54

You feel empowered because you feel confident and that you at owning your insecurities, at least that’s how I felt.

So where was the power?

SweetSenorita · 27/02/2023 08:14

Go right ahead and post. Doubtless some arseholes will call you vain. I get called vain now and then. I'm very occasionally a bit 'showy', so maybe it's a fair shout 🤷

Meh! I'm out of fucks to give. I'm a proper nice woman.

Post your pics. Be proud of what you've done 😘😘

2023usernameNew · 27/02/2023 08:12

I wouldn’t do it either, but if it’s about feeling empowered and you’re not actually fishing for compliments, then post them but don’t allow comments.

AlliwantforChristmasisgu · 27/02/2023 08:07

Do you have a partner OP? Because I would worry that doing this would make you more vulnerable to ‘romance fraud’ where a man romantically befriends a woman to con her out of money. Because one of the messages it sends out is ‘I really want people to see me as beautiful’.

It is great that the pictures make you feel good about yourself. Take that good feeling with you throughout the day, and remember that people value others for much more than looks.

Shitfather · 27/02/2023 08:07

Paq · 27/02/2023 07:55

A woman I am in a Facebook group with had the courage to post some wildlife photos she took. They were amazing and she got loads of brilliant comments. That's empowering.

Fabulous!

NovelFarmer · 27/02/2023 08:06

My thinking is, you have a friend that you fancy, who you’ve been friend-zoned by, and you want them to see you in a different light under the guise of ‘empowerment’.

Feefee00 · 27/02/2023 08:05

I've seen people do this and it just looks cringy..You don't need people to see you in your underwear to get validation.