Son won’t visit on Mothers Day

Mother's Day is only a few weeks away @LivingDeadGirlUK & restaurants book up on that day, so it's really not too early to get organised and get something booked.

Your son is 30 years old! He sounds so sensible and supportive of his wife. You sound self centred and a little bit crazy.

Are you always planning months ahead like this OP? Sometimes it can be exhausting when you have a friend/family member that does this, especially if you yourself are a lot more fluid with event planning.

I agree that inviting your DIL to your big family mothers day meal was a bit insensitive and you should have just messaged him. You need to set some more reasonable expectations because when they have kids they aren't going to be coming to you every mothering Sunday either.

Wonderful 😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

I believe you.

Completely wrong viper, I mean, um, @ComfortablyDazed 😂

Yes, so it would seem, OP. I mean, um, soso2.

Just making a few points @ComfortablyDazed 😉

She can organise her Mother's Day if she wishes. You don't get to control her actions or dictate what should be done. She included the ages because someone would have probably asked soon anyway.

Try getting over yourself first. You sound dictatorial and absolutely ridiculous.

Well, you seem to be very invested in ‘someone else’s’ thread all of a sudden, @soso2!

YABU.

Its not your place to organise Mother's Day, I found this strange. Why include their ages? How is that relevant? Why should he leave his wife alone on a day she is likely to feel rubbish as she has lost her own mum?

You need to get over yourself, your son doesn't HAVE to visit you on Mother's Day just because you are his mother and one day when you die he might regret it. You sound incredibly spoilt, immature and entitled.

Piss take of a thread.

Happy with yourself?

How nasty of you. The OP was organising a family meal with all her children. It is like saying someone celebrating a birthday cannot organise something with their friends. They have to wait until someone else does.

You should be ashamed of yourself for being so nasty and unpleasant to someone who is hurt.

She invited her children and their partners for a family meal. Just because her DIL lost a parent three years ago doesn't mean that the mother cannot invite them both. Life can't stop.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius There are ways to be honest and also kind at the same time. Some of the post have been unnecessary mean imo rather than being helpful.

And maybe he did intend to ‘celebrate’ her… with a gift, telephone call, flowers etc. Why is him driving 2 hours each way for a lunch the only acceptable way for him to celebrate his mother?

It’s a 4 hour round trip (for a lunch). The son’s wife has lost her mother. I wouldn’t be hurt in those circumstances, no. Would you expect someone to drive 2 hours each way to ‘celebrate’ you?
The OP’s son would no doubt have already known it was Mother’s Day coming up. It’s hard to miss it. If he’d wanted to ‘celebrate’ her on that particular day he would no doubt have organised something himself.

You are not the worst. There is nothing wrong with you inviting them. A lot of the posters here are complete vipers. Just ignore them. Hopefully your son will come and spoil you another time to help make up.

YABU, he isn't saying he won't acknowledge mothers day by ringing or sending you a card/gift. He lives 2 hours away, so you want him to do a 4 hour round trip for a mothers day meal? Even without his wifes mums passing he wouldn't be unreasonable for not wanting to attend.

You have 4 adult DC with their own lives and responsibilities. You have had at least 30 years worth of mothers days and will have 3 of them with you, thats pretty damn good going! Don't make your poor son feel guilty for supporting his wife.

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Who reminds people of mother's day??

Mothers who are inviting their children to lunch, perhaps?

It was a 'save the date' invite.

I think your son sounds lovely, you should be proud of him

@WaddleAway well of course she was hurt. It's easy to be very cold about it and logical, and say 'people have a right to refuse' but to be rebuffed on a day that is celebrating your role as a mum, when all the other children are coming, is understandable. No?

Who reminds people of mother's day?? My DM and MIL have never done so and I never mention it to mine. It would be like asking for a present and seems really rude.

We usually do something for both our mums but that's my decision each year - occasionally if busy with work nothing happens beyond a card and pressie and none of our siblings live close enough to visit them so they would not see anyone. Both mothers would be appaulled to think we felt we had to or that we should.

You should leave them to organise something for you OP and let them decide between them what, when and how many of them will attend and be glad that some do. They won't all, not every year. And that's healthy frankly.

@Daisybuttercup12345 I took the OP to mean she messaged her son and DIL together, in one text, or whatever, so her DIL felt included in the family get together, rather than only inviting her son. I think she was doing it with kindness, to make her DIL feel one of the family.