....to think men are, sorry, but AWFUL

Oh yes, let's blame women for men's vile behaviour. Is there anything bad in society that women are not responsible for?

50s is different though as people have divorced and started to grow apart not necessarily for bad reasons so finding a partner in your late 40s early 50s that for want of a better word is 'sound' is more likely. I'm not trying to be cruel I'm trying to be factual. It is not like it is impossible but probably a lot harder.

Of course some men are good.

But there are awful, awful ones out there. One scum airdropped a picture of his penis to my 13 year old daughter yesterday. Luckily I sat next to her and could console her. Unfortunately she did not ask me before accepting the airdrop - she just got her phone.

what kind of a man will cyberflash a child? I can assure any men on here, women will not airdrop pictures of their genitalia to children. I mean for the discussion that “women are awful too”.

We are part of a social/ walking group.Met up on Sunday. Several are couples, several are single. The single people were telling us their horror stories of dating. The main problem the men faced was women posting heavily filtered pictures or pictures from years ago that bear no relation to reality. For the women the issue was dick pics. Endless unsolicited, walloped into the middle of a normal conversation dick pics.Revolting. My friend works with youngish teachers who are doing OLD. They frequently meet men who appear perfectly pleasant initially. They meet them for coffee somewhere totally safe and ordinary(Waitrose in Cirencester is handy) . The constant theme seems to be that they are having a normal conversation and suddenly the man will ask them how they feel about....anal, bondage, smacking with paddles of different sizes, nipple clamps etc etc. They make their excuses and leave and then the dick pics start until they block them.

The only person you can 100 percent rely on is yourself. Enjoy relationships when they’re good but always be ok to be by yourself and you’ll be fine.

TrainteaAnnie, I know quite a few men who hold exactly the same opinion of women, and with good reason.

Some men are horror shows, some women are horror shows.
Good and bad in both sexes.

More like it's the testosterone and toxic masculinity etc.

And in most families a man and a woman raise sons .....

Is there anything you're not going to blame women for.

I have a good one that I'm keeping.

But in general, there are a lot of men I meet, partners of my friends, H's friends, colleagues etc who I would never want to live with or be in a partnership with in a million years. They're just so feckless. As the PP said, if I found myself single again I'm not sure I'd risk living with another man. I feel my luck has been used up finding mine.

To be clear my son and friends tell me what is sexist, they are objectively balanced human beings. However, I think statistically 35 - late 40s the 'sound' men have been taken and I'd they haven't it is rarer to find.

Who is raising these awful men though? Mostly women. Maybe the way boy children are raised is fundamentally wrong.

I’m also happily married, but if I was to find myself single again, I would just go out and play the field, there’s no way I’m living with another man again.

some of the threads that shock me the most are those divorced women with kids that move in with someone new months after meeting them.

Statistically are you at an age where all the 'good' men are married or taken

I detest statements like this.

I know two 50 something women who have met, married and are in Ltrs with good men.

There may not be tonnes of them but there are some out there.

Such absolutes as "all" are really unhelpful and cruel to single people trying to meet someone.

Some men are awful - some women are awful.

Can you imagine how boring the Boards would be if everyone with a good relationship posted. I have been married twice, my first husband was an idiot and my second husband is amazing. I am so pleased that I did not let my first marriage spoil my view of men as I would then never have got together with my second husband. We have been married 40 years in April.

I'm a bloke, iv had women cheat , liar , text other men and assault me

a women neighbour has had her kids taken off her due to drug use and lives with the dads

The hardest thing is that it's not always bad people doing bad things, it's often good people who do bad things. The problem with that is you don't see it coming. I now go into all relationships expecting the worst but hoping for the best. Always make sure you've got your finances sorted and make sure to maintain your friendships outside your primary relationship.

Lastly, it's men you think are awful because you're in an echo chamber here. If you were dating women I'm sure you'd discover similar issues out there. You need to keep perspective.

Some men are bloody awful, some are diamonds.

The same with women.

I worked in a Child Protection dept for years - a lot of women also abuse their children. There are many forms of abuse, all of them harmful.🙁

It's silly to generalise.😚

Statistically are you at an age where all the 'good' men are married or taken. I went to a 40th party where DH's friend is on the second partner, after being with the Mother of his children for 13 years, he's really nice and the new girlfriend was lovely but it struck me with conversations with them both how hard at that age it is to meet someone, she was 37. She told me one man she dated was good looking but he had implied she was too intellectual for him as she had said to him how she was 'exhausted' one weekend and he didn't know what the word meant! We then proceeded to go to (in my mind) clubs full of students not far off my son's age of 15. I got the impression it was somewhere they had boh been as part of dating. This wasn't London where I know people do things later, settle down later but it was commutable to London. I came to the conclusion now that at 44 I wouldn't be dating if I split with DH of this is what it looks like. I mean DH and I are happy but marriage is compromise sometimes shockingly so so from an outsiders perspective it may all look like it is not worth it.

This is true, but I think this thread has become a derail from the op's main focus .... Fidelity (though porn use was raised and thats another subject).

Op's main focus was her cheating exes and these two cheaters.

But one of the cheated on parties may have been aware the cheater cheated on his last partner to get with her.

And in the other case, we have two victims of the cheating .... His wife and her partner.

Also while op has been cheated on in two out of three cases .... There are plenty of men who've been cheated on likewise - so it's not a gender/sex specific behaviour.

It's a scummy person (of either sex) behaviour.

I'm a mother of sons and I work hard every day to try to raise them to be decent human beings.

I feel like lots of people are missing the fact that your last three relationships ended because of atrocious behaviour on the part of your partners. So your experience is not just informed by the Mumsnet 'echo chamber'. YANBU to feel the way you do. Even the awesome men I know can say and do some horrible stuff when they are with other men. If I were to separate from my DH there's no way I'd date.

@CrescentMoons as another poster has said women cheat as much as men, not sure if the monogamy ideal is realistic for many and maybe we should accept that so that we don't get so hurt when our male of female partner cheats, certainly not put our children through a divorce because of it.

Break up with him. It’s not his fault your exes were shits and he’s wasting his time if you’re sitting there waiting for him to disappoint you.

If you’ve been here a while you’ll know that anyone with the temerity to post anything positive on the relationships board is immediately branded smug, goady or insensitive. Someone was once told “this is a board for bad relationships” and to piss off. Misery loves company and it’s not representative at all of normal marriages with their inevitable highs, lows and bits in the middle. You’re not yourself any favours by absorbing so much negativity. It won’t stop you from picking a dud, it might ruin the chances of you finding and staying with a good man.

Men who hate women abuse, rape, and murder us.

Women who hate (i.e., fear) men seek ways to avoid them.

Your comparison is false.

What expecting trust, truth, respect etc is too much!!!