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Original poster

In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

262 replies

fourikeachairs · 13/02/2023 23:22

I wouldn't! At all. I cannot run fast or fight, I'd be a goner immediately the zombies or aliens or whatever descend. When I watch a movie of tv with this theme I can't ever keep up with the characters when they make a quick plan about who is going to do what where, and when they give each other silent hand signals eg going into a room they think is occupied I'm just like huh what do you mean? Grin

If you reckon you'd survive a good while if the shit hits the fan, what are your best survival skills? Are you good at going with the flow, being flexible, thinking quickly on the go?

OP posts:
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/02/2023 06:12

I think I'd be ok for a bit. I can walk and run, not far or fast but I have stamina. I can sew, crochet, cook and grow vegetables. My partner is a handy man and my daughter is a dancer so very flexible and fit and able to climb up stuff / info windows collecting food and opening doors. We have a dog for protection who is a lurcher so could keep up with our running about. He is a whiner though so would likely give our game away. Dog is definitely the weak link

milkyaqua · 14/02/2023 06:11

Are they brushing their teeth everyday?

Just made me feel better about my ridiculous store of toothpastes and brushes. I will die with great teeth!

ThoroughlyEnjoyable · 14/02/2023 06:08

I could spin things out for a few weeks by claiming I'm a soothsayer

Onwayoutsoon · 14/02/2023 06:03

Forestcantrun · 13/02/2023 23:39

Zombie apocalypse is one of my distraction scenarios… I ask patients every day when I’m stitching or doing painful interventions😀

I have come to realise this is what I’ve been training for all my life🤣 Obviously lot of NHS emergency experience, can sort out injuries while on the move.

I now run, so I’m fit, not fast but can run! I’ve speedy tactical decision making skills, planning experience and more importantly, I’ve been dying for an excuse to drive like I’m escaping zombies.

Pick me🤣🤣

😂

exLtEveDallas · 14/02/2023 05:54

My Zombie Plan used to be foolproof - I worked and lived on a secure camp, I knew the codes to both the armoury and the ammunition store and the combination to the ‘secret tunnel’ to the stores. I’m also a great shot, married to a great shot and had a well behaved, compliant daughter that was up for anything.

Now I’m a fat, unfit civilian with no access to weapons, a house with big windows and an anxious, argumentative DD who always knows best.

I’m screwed!

SunshineAndFizz · 14/02/2023 05:50

Whenever I watch these types of movies I always worry about the minor practical inconveniences (rather than obvious things like food or fighting).

Are they brushing their teeth everyday? How bad do they smell? How often do they change their clothes? What if they get their period?

I need answers!!!

LadyOfTheCanyon · 14/02/2023 05:45

Nope, I'd be stoving my own head in within seconds of the first air raid siren going off.

People scare me much more than zombies.

Buddythecat1 · 14/02/2023 05:42

Honestly it wouldn't even be zombies that scare me. It would be other people.
People don't give a shit when it comes to their own, they'll fight, assault whoever or whatever for supplies or weapons.
Like a pp, I'm checking out early ✌️ but y'all have fun

Beesandhoney123 · 14/02/2023 05:14

I left out any need for meds, as would be too depressingly darwinesque, what with family requirements for inhaler and ptsd meds.

Morestrangethings · 14/02/2023 04:14

LozzaChops101 · 13/02/2023 23:43

I think I’m too much of a people pleaser to survive the apocalypse. Although I’m dead good at foraging and making fires and things so if I was alone I could probably last a solid week 😆

Tbh I’d die of complications from acid reflux or something equally sexy without the protection of Big Pharma.

Similar for me. Without migraine relief medication I’d be begging to die:

I could be the person in the movies who sacrificed myself to the zombies so everyone else could get away. But fair is fair, I’d want a gun and a bullet to shoot myself just as they attacked me.

sashh · 14/02/2023 04:10

I'm heading to the Welsh border.

I've taught 'equality and diversity' in a lot of places, when I teach it in Birmingham there are loads of students who know various languages, have different cultures, basically diverse groups.

Teaching in a small place on the Welsh border the class was all white, most knew some Welsh but otherwise they were English speakers so we did 'E and D for the zombie apocalypse'.

That group had wonderful skills, off the top of my head:
Shooting.
Skinning and butchering rabbits.
Driving a tractor.
Making alcohol.
Throwing knives.
Building fires.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 14/02/2023 04:06

I used to have a plan worked out with my ex-h. But these days I don't think I could be arsed so wouldn't survive long.

We couldn't leave the house because of how slow the toddler walks. Between the wails of 'but I don't want to go in the buggy', 'but I doooooo want to go in the buggy', ' I want a cereal bar' etc on repeat, I'd probably throw her to the zombies myself 😄.

I must say 'ow, mi back' at least 50 times a day so anything that requires me to lift, move quickly or not have a soft bed means I'm out. I'm sure someone would get fed up of me tutting whenever anyone broke a law too. I don't think I could cope with seeing the looting and people running riot.

DP would fare better as he has some survival skills, but he's the jumpiest person I know so a few zombies popping out from behind doors and his heart would give out.

SunshineAndFizz · 14/02/2023 04:05

Anyone else watching the Last of Us?

I need to find a Bill.

HoppingPavlova · 14/02/2023 03:45

Nope, my plan would be to gather all the wine I can and get as much in before accepting my fate.

Honestly, with the whole Covid/toilet paper debacle you can see how society pretty much collapses within days.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/02/2023 03:27

And I grew up in South London so zombies ain't got nuffin'.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/02/2023 03:26

I'd be great. I'm a dead shot, great in an emergency and a really good deescalation talker. More of a toady than a leader and carrying a little extra weight so I could survive past the first part.

DD (12) has a whole plan worked out. She has a little friend whose family hunts so she's going there. I don't know where she thinks we are... eaten probably.

JudgeRudy · 14/02/2023 03:22

NewNameForXmas · 13/02/2023 23:40

I have stored fat so could do without calories for a good while. Not good at running though!

@NewNameForXmas
Can we eat you if you don't make it?

JudgeRudy · 14/02/2023 03:20

If were talking post apocalypse/madmax I think my biggest skill would be my ability to detach emotionally. My immediate family already have a pact that we can eat each other (as long as we're dead) in an emergency and I'd leave my mum coz she's slow, old and needs medication. I think I could be pretty ruthless in survival mode. I'd kill and eat a rabbit or a rat if I had too. I'm not fit but I'm fit enough with a bit of padding to get me through a winter. I think I'd tolerate male violence better than some and I'm quite resourceful.

My downfall would be losing my glasses though!

DulcetTones · 14/02/2023 02:32

I could last for a little while if I was able to shelter in place. We have enough food saved to live for several months, at least, and land to grow veg and chickens, if we could barter for some. DH can shoot and is very handy, and I can knit, crochet, sew (old-fashioned treadle!), and garden.

But realistically, DH has health problems and would likely become dangerously ill and possibly die before very long without access to medicine... The sad truth is that I'd rather go quickly in an explosion or something than struggle to survive on my own without him. I'd be more motivated to fight if I had children, of course, but it's just us and the dogs. I do have other family nearby, so if we were all together, I'd make an effort for their sake. Otherwise, I'm better off dead if we have no access to modern medicine.

JaneJeffer · 14/02/2023 02:25

I'd be fine until the all the alcohol in the house ran out

JarByTheDoor · 14/02/2023 02:25

As soon as the coffee ran out, I'd have a good chance of blending in with the zombies. Would just have to hope none of them noticed I'm a breather.

BertaHoon · 14/02/2023 02:19

Probably not. I've just shoved the half of a wrap that wasn't stale, in to the peanut butter jar because I forgot have dinner.

mackthepony · 14/02/2023 02:14

Oh god I don't think so
, no. I'm not exactly fit

escapingthecity · 14/02/2023 02:04

Nope. I wear glasses and am terribly shortsighted. I'd last about 5 hours.

ScattyHattie · 14/02/2023 02:04

I'd likely get decision paralysis so just stay in bed with cup of tea & biscuits.

Probably a viral pandemic like the great series Anna and i'd be doomed anyway.

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