In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

Shhh, first rules of zombie apocalypse - don’t give your location away.

Or everyone will want to come and live with you.

You can guarantee that when the apocalypse comes will be when when my cat stops bringing live food home for me 🤣

The amount of money my cat has cost me in vet bills over the years, that little bastard will just have to fend for himself come the end of the world.

I’d feel sorry for the useless bastard after a while though and rescue him. He won’t even eat meat that hasn’t been carefully cut up and deboned for him, he just stares at it an meows mournfully until it’s turned into some creation worthy of a Michelin star, so I don’t fancy his chances of living off mice and birds.

We've talked about this a lot as a family and reckon we'd be pretty sorted.

DH is exceptionally practical so he'd work out how to build a decent shelter although may be stymied by the lack of power tools.

DS has been doing martial arts and rugby for years so he's our lethal weapon. He's also unrelentingly cheerful which is a massive boost. Although we might end up sacrificing him if it got a bit much.

DD has done a load of forest school so can forage and build a makeshift shelter. I'm sure the whittling would come in handy too.

They tell me I'm the weakest link but secretly know that I'm the emotional glue that holds them all together.

DD used to worry about a lot of things. Fires,break ins etc. We'd chat about preventative measures, what to do in case of emergencies,plans, what we can put in place etc. All good until .. "but what about the cat?" .

Nope. I'm fat,lazy, unfit, need to pee a billion times a day AND I'm fussy.

If I was on my own I imagine I could run off onto the Moors and live wild. In reality we'd get killed while my dd is having a tantrum about how her shoes feel or insisting I catch the cat and take him with us. Or maybe I will just die from the inevitable infected cat bite.

My husband is a little obsessive about apocalypse scenarios. He says it's the survivors going feral that would be our threat. I worry most about looking after the cats. I could probs forage for a while and eke out the tinned cupboard but are can't imagine they'd do great. Too fat and lazy to hunt. And what if starving neighbours tried to catch them to eat.

No. We have a small stash of recreational drugs and some morphine stashed away. A peaceful sleep like the Last of us.

I'd like to think I could but my blood sugar drops really easily so if I couldn't eat for a couple of days, I'd be screwed 😬
There are a few places I could go to though that are in the middle of nowhere and you can see all around for miles so I know it'd be safer.
Plus, there's farm land which means there'd be guns. I'd just need to swipe them from the farmers first 😂

Rabbits are harder to keep alive than you think.

@Iwantabloodypizza I'd go for Ray Mears over Bear Grylls. Less showy, more dependable.

We'd be good. 4 freezers. Produce our own food. Know how to can. Small farm. Husband can build anything or build a machine to build anything. Heat with wood. We have a well. Need to sort the solar generator but feeling pretty confident. And no we are not preppers just very rural France.

He has his own island though, hasn’t he? So that would come in handy if zombies can’t swim. Or can they swim?

😂

I'm very squeamish indeed, so I would probably try to reason with a zombie rather than demolish its head. So I'd be dead, basically.
Also, who would want to survive an apocalypse?! Better dead.

I just spent a good 15 minutes worrying about how I would muffle the sounds of my chickens if the zombies started dragging their limbs down my street...

I often practice my zombie moan and shuffle for the dawn of the dead

Ex army and a nurse. Also was a Brownie and Guide. So in theory I'd be useful.
However these days I like my creature comforts, need regular cups of tea to function and don't do idiot's particularly well so I think I'll just stay at home if you don't mind?
Also, thanks to the menopause (will we get HRT in the apocalypse? ) I need to be in bed by 9.

The very short answer to your question is: No!

I read a lot of post-apocalyptic fiction and naturally want to identify with the heros but since getting an autoimmune disease I've come to the realisation that the awful truth is I would not last long, well, not on my own! Also imagine trying to get hold of gluten free food and vitamin supplements! 😂I mean, if apocalypses have commercial breaks then perhaps I could keep going for awhile but honestly, unless the scenario is cats taking over the world and only letting cat-o-philes live, I will be toast!

Actually, if it was looking like shit was about to kick off, I’d kidnap Bear Grills.

The apocalypse would hold nothing to my rage if I found out he was just full of it and was nothing without his camera crew and a stash of food off screen.

Our washing machine was out of action for ten days over christmas.

It was like the end of days in this house.

So you know, God forbid.

(And yes I KNOW there are terrible things going on in the world. But can we not have a bit of fun and distraction? When they were 12, my uncle and his friend used to write comedy skits to perform to people in the air raid shelters in WW2. People can have distractions and still take other things seriously. We don’t all have to sit around wringing our hands in despair at the world 24/7 to have empathy and compassion for what others are facing).

I've just got some "strings" for my specs. So as long as I don't lose those I will be fine. 😂

Id be crap. My only strategy would be to team up with more practical people. I have a few in mind. Id have to do something useful though like mind their children.

I wouldn't. We had a 48 power cut last year and I moved out to a pub with rooms. Half a day without a hot shower, heat or hot food and I was done. Even lockdowns without hairdresser and manicure was an ordeal 🤣🤣