In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

Apparently, the porkier you are, the less nutritious you are to eat.

@CantFindTheBeat having done some reading about starvation survival open boat type scenarios, being a short fat woman is best. Lots of <ahem> energy stores, and smaller caloric needs.

Bring on the zombies, I say.

@endoftheworldniteclub - you could probably do LOADS better than Jeevan on that shop. There is tonnes more room in those trollies!

@AppelationStation

Apparently, the porkier you are, the less nutritious you are to eat.

I take personal comfort in that!!!

I'd hope adrenaline would kick in, otherwise I'm a gonner early on!

You wouldn’t just stand a chance - you’d be queen o’ the north!!

Glad to find so many other people who worry about breaking their glasses in an apocalyptic scenario!

I don't want to be a zombie , they have to walk everywhere.

I'm very practical, ice cool in a crisis, good instincts, have an excellent first aid kit and medicine cabinet, a high pain threshold and tactical, strategic brain. I am, however, a massive porker.

DH and DS are nimble, fit, fearless and impulsive.

We'd all hole up in a nearby cave, surviving on my excellent planning, resourceful cooking and medical skills. Then when the food ran out and it was rime to run for it, they can eat me and take their chances. Best chance for keeping little'un going until DH can find a gun.

No, I couldn't kill an animal and I'd be killed by my comrades for moaning about the cold and missing hot baths.

I think I'd be OK. I'm VERY resourceful. I have a horse who would be useful although eating her would be a very last resort. I'd head for the moors and hunker down somewhere. I'd eat deer and rabbits and grow some vegetables. I have nerves of steel, I wouldn't give a shit about anyone except my family, and I'm not afraid of gore. I'm not a violent person at all but it wouldn't phase me to knock someone's head off if I had to. I also have some decent medical knowledge and would be good for patching up wounds etc.

I’m fairly good at shopping so could probably reenact the scene in Station Eleven. And silver tape my doors and just stay in there.

I think I would just tell 'HANDS, FACE, SPACE' and confuse the hell out of the zombies.

I'd have to break into a pharmacy for medication, but can read proper maps and use a compass. I'm in reasonable nick but couldn't out run those fast zombies. If I survived into later years, I might have a function as a repository of wisdom and teach children to read.

On the other hand at 68 I might be immediately viewed as a liability and have to do a Captain Oates: I'm going outside, and may be some time.

I could manage the 1970s shopping mall zombies, no problem, as long as I had my running shoes. It’d be fairly easy to do a supermarket grab for supplies, flamethrowing stuff, get diy tools sorted and grab a vehicle. I reckon I could manage a life in the hills and avoid getting mangled. The 28 days later hyper zombies are out of my league so I’d give up and join them.

Go to the Winchester, have a pint, wait for it to all blow over.

Very sensible.

It would be just my bloody luck to survive an apocalypse and have to deal with all the fallout while everyone else lies happily deaded. I’m very resilient. It’s a curse.

Traditional zombies as an infection vector are crap, especially after we endured Covid-19. It's spread via blood or saliva (dig out those face masks and googles) and requires skin contact. Just go around in a rubber suit and wack them over the head. Use a scooter or electric bike for extra manoeuvrability. Yes, you will look like a human condom, but you will be doing your bit for the human race!

TBH, I would be more afraid of the Government kill squads sent to deal with them (like large - scale pest control) than zombies.

Now, if you want something terrifying, let's talk about cannibal locusts.

We have a plan for this 😂

as a team with my family we’d be amazing. On my own I’d give up, cba

How has no one noticed that Ray Mears' wife is on this thread as @Namechangedforthisonetoday?

I’m almost blind with my contact lenses and get migraines. I barely survive glamping

I think I’d hold up well enough. Depending on the apocalyptic event, it might actually be a more peaceful life what without working, bills, people, etc.

I’d miss the local chippy though 😂

The nuclear power plants would melt down and kill us all, then we'd all be zombies apart from the government in the bunkers.

I think I would be screwed with a zombie apocalypse as I can't run. Something like a virus I am immune to seems like a better bet. Once the main crisis event subsides I would have practical skills for growing and preserving food and sewing. My medications running out would make life unpleasant and painful, but not fatal. Memory foam pillow would be greatly missed.

Films always seem to put the camp / compound somewhere really bad. I have spent ages screaming clear defensible perimeter at the screen. Why build it in a wood, in an area with tunnels, junk yard etc. Clear line of sight and double perimeter wall please! I do think the risk of feral animals is also massively under appreciated. Rats will gnaw on corpses, dogs will make packs to attack, farm animals can kill. We aren't used to sharing our space with large animals at all.

@Vitriolinsanity Excellent skills!

I recon I'd be okay. I'm a member of a women's shooting community, we are armed to the hilt, we all have mean shooting (rifles and shotguns), fishing, butchery and general agricultural skills that we'd manage pretty well, plenty of us live about as off grid as is possible so we could definitely hole up and set up our own compound. We have medical professionals, engineers, professional gamekeepers, farmers and plenty of other skilled professionals in our group that we'd do well on our own between us and our partners. My downfall could be running out of nerve medication, but I keep a massive stock of it anyway, and moving away from being desk bound will probably ameliorate 99% of my problems anyway.