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Original poster

In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

262 replies

fourikeachairs · 13/02/2023 23:22

I wouldn't! At all. I cannot run fast or fight, I'd be a goner immediately the zombies or aliens or whatever descend. When I watch a movie of tv with this theme I can't ever keep up with the characters when they make a quick plan about who is going to do what where, and when they give each other silent hand signals eg going into a room they think is occupied I'm just like huh what do you mean? Grin

If you reckon you'd survive a good while if the shit hits the fan, what are your best survival skills? Are you good at going with the flow, being flexible, thinking quickly on the go?

OP posts:
GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 14/02/2023 00:23

I'd watch and wait, and enrage my children by insisting no one could take any risks by leaving the house. My husband would mutter that we were all loons and go back to watching Ukraine podcasts. But if I ran out of Barry's tea then I'd be loping down the street and no fucker would stop me. Ditto re. any strange creatures that interfered with DD social life, held up youngest son's rugby, oldest son's exhausting country-wide social life or interrupted middle son's revision. They would rue the day 😂

AffIt · 14/02/2023 00:22

I have a horrible feeling I'd be really good at it.

I have long suspected I have 'a certain degree of moral ambiguity', as Martin Blank says in Grosse Pointe Blank (although I hide it well) and I think that alone would serve me well.

I'm also a really good aim.

SweetSakura · 14/02/2023 00:14

MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:00

Ooh @Spongeboob you have some COOL hobbies and kit! Alas I am in the same boat as @PatriciaHolm. Add in the Parkinson’s and the asthma and it’s a question of whether I’d actually survive long enough to be eaten by zombies…

The zombies would probably reject me, I'm rattling with so many medicines Grin

MakingTheVeganYorkshirePud · 14/02/2023 00:12

I'd be shit. I'd just get into bed and hope the apocalypse passed quickly. Sod running about and hiding on top of buildings.

SweetSakura · 14/02/2023 00:12

Not on my own. I have a debilitating neurological condition and without my medication I would be housebound. But my children amaze me with their quick wit and ferocity and since they were toddlers I have been certain they would thrive in an apocalyptic scenario so if nothing else I hope they would keep me alive for a while as a back up supply of meat Grin]

BreadInCaptivity · 14/02/2023 00:12

SoShallINever · 14/02/2023 00:00

Look, I'm in the middle of the menopause, bring it fucking on. Who wants some?

😂😂😂

ItWillWash · 14/02/2023 00:09

I have a plan for Zombies/Alien invasion that I'm fairly confident in. I live near the sea and our marina is within a few minutes walk from three major supermarkets.

My plan is to raid the supermarkets at the first sign of trouble for alcohol and nonperishable foodstuffs and then to steal a yacht. As long as I don't get eaten on the way to the supermarket I think I'd last a few weeks out at sea.

The only flaw in my plan is that I cannot navigate so will probably get lost at sea and die of starvation eventually.

pizzaHeart · 14/02/2023 00:08

I’m unfit, anxious, very urban type addicted to unlimited supply of hot water, electricity and internet. I also have weak bladder and can’t live without black tea more then 12 hours. I wouldn’t survive for long on my own. I would follow DH - he’s got much better survival skills.

Ponderingwindow · 14/02/2023 00:06

I’d be dead as soon as my main prescriptions ran out. Just the supply chain disruptions we deal With these days are terror enough for me.

MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:01

Figuring out my escape route in the event of a zombie apocalypse is one of my go-to distractions when I’m bored though. I used to walk past a cemetery on my way home from work and had all my plans ready 😂

Onnabugeisha · 14/02/2023 00:01

I think I’d be alright. They’re the walking dead, not the swimming dead so I’d just cruise out to an island with my family & their partners and we would live off the land and sea. Between us we have the skills to do most anything.

So, I’d be bee lining to steal a luxury yacht if the apocalypse happens.

MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:00

Ooh @Spongeboob you have some COOL hobbies and kit! Alas I am in the same boat as @PatriciaHolm. Add in the Parkinson’s and the asthma and it’s a question of whether I’d actually survive long enough to be eaten by zombies…

SoShallINever · 14/02/2023 00:00

Look, I'm in the middle of the menopause, bring it fucking on. Who wants some?

Cherryblossoms85 · 13/02/2023 23:59

This is what my novel would be about if I ever wrote one. Only a slight twist in that it's rebels hiding from evil surveillance government. It was so clichéd I gave up.

Skyrimisveryrelaxing · 13/02/2023 23:57

you cant live off rabbits they arent very good for you at all.

PatriciaHolm · 13/02/2023 23:56

Yes, but only for as long as it took the zombies to realise all they needed to do was take my glasses. I would then fall down the nearest stairs.

Rollercoaster1920 · 13/02/2023 23:54

I missed the loo rolls and pasta in 2020 so I'm already eaten by zombies by the time you finish this sentence.

Wbeezer · 13/02/2023 23:54

I'm very resourceful, and I have lots of practical skills but I'd be toast if my specs broke!

RandomCatGenerator · 13/02/2023 23:53

LozzaChops101 · 13/02/2023 23:43

I think I’m too much of a people pleaser to survive the apocalypse. Although I’m dead good at foraging and making fires and things so if I was alone I could probably last a solid week 😆

Tbh I’d die of complications from acid reflux or something equally sexy without the protection of Big Pharma.

This made me laugh!

mrsfollowill · 13/02/2023 23:51

I'm just too slow! I'd put up a good fight if I had a handy shovel- reckon I could lop zombies heads off easy so if it was just one on one I'd manage. I have menopausal RAGE as well which would really help.
Being stealthy/fast- nah- I'd be zombie fodder for sure. I've told DH that if we ever are in this scenario him and DS should just flee ( they are fast runners with stamina) and I'll catch them up if I can.
If we were in a compound (or other protected space) I would be very good at cooking though and bits of first aid and general common sense! I think I have thought about this too much really Grin

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 13/02/2023 23:49

Forestcantrun · 13/02/2023 23:39

Zombie apocalypse is one of my distraction scenarios… I ask patients every day when I’m stitching or doing painful interventions😀

I have come to realise this is what I’ve been training for all my life🤣 Obviously lot of NHS emergency experience, can sort out injuries while on the move.

I now run, so I’m fit, not fast but can run! I’ve speedy tactical decision making skills, planning experience and more importantly, I’ve been dying for an excuse to drive like I’m escaping zombies.

Pick me🤣🤣

It has in app purchases, but if you want a fun distraction/addition to your run lookup the app 'Zombie's Run'. It's a role play based interval training app, so you walk for a bit then you hear zombies coming or gunfire and have to speed up to escape.

harrassedmumto3 · 13/02/2023 23:49

I'd be frigging hopeless Grin

EmmaEmerald · 13/02/2023 23:49

Forestcantrun you ask your patients what they'd do in a zombie apocalypse?

boatyardblues I don't even want to read books like that. I enjoyed the film the Happening but that was different.

I genuinely don't know why anyone wants to survive an apocalypse.

BadgerLovesMash · 13/02/2023 23:49

I've thought about this alot! Not sure how well I would survive. But in the case of zombies, my plan is to steal a boat. Ever seen swimming zombies?! Nope! I will just have to overcome my fish allergy, sea sickness and figure out drinking water! 🤣🤣

Spongeboob · 13/02/2023 23:48

Nope. Terrified of zombies, blind as a bat without my glasses and 5ft nothing. Lone parent of smallish child and live on the edge of a bad estate. We'd be buggered even though we're 2 minutes from a supermarket. I do have an interest in legal weapons, I have an extremely accurate replica of Lucille, a small crossbow, bows and arrows and various BB guns (rifle, shotgun and handguns). Probably wouldn’t help us much. Also vegetarian Grin