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Husband and weird phone behaviour

61 replies

Karoliine · 11/02/2023 18:24

My husband has always been hiding his phone from me. Couple of times I have checked it and first time I found out he had cheated on me, and second time I found his profile on sex site. This is why I hate him hiding his phone and I always feel something weird is going on.
I have suggested we both keep our phones open for each other to check and won’t hide phones from each other but this makes him furious.

Anyway, today he asked me to come and see a message his lady friend from work had sent to his phone (not a work phone). The message was about his salary issue, some unpaid salary he will be getting soon, with some smileys added. He only wanted me to see this message and the amount mentioned.

So as he asked me to come and see the message, I was like ok, let me see it. And his reply was that I should read it while he holds the phone, because the whole conversation is not meant for me to read. Honestly it hadn’t even crossed my mind to read more than what he asked me to read. He said the conversation is “secret.”
Am I being unreasonable because this made me suspicious. What is it that he is chatting with this lady (during the weekend) that I should not see? Also his job is nothing secretive or serious and any serious work related conversations should be on his work phone anyways, if I’m correct.

Ofcourse he got angry when I told him how weird the whole thing sounds to me. He shows me one sentence from the conversation and tells me the rest of it is secret and I should not touch his phone. Then why does he even show me any messages in the first place ?

I have noticed his phone behaviour is beginning to make me crazy. He has never apologised the things I have seen on his phone before and still keeps hiding it. And calls me crazy because I find it hard to trust him. Maybe breaking up is the only option because I have a feeling he is not being honest with me and has a secret life online.

OP posts:
Emmamoo89 · 11/02/2023 18:58

He's an arse

DashboardConfessional · 11/02/2023 18:57

Erm. Why would you stay with someone who you only trust to not cheat on you because he knows you're checking his phone?

GoodChat · 11/02/2023 18:56

He wants you to think he's cheating again because he knows you'll put up with it.

Ludo19 · 11/02/2023 18:55

So he's already cheated and been on a sex website? For hook ups? You're asking if HE'S being unreasonable? YOU'RE being unreasonable for staying with a sleazy adulterer.

OurChristmasMiracle · 11/02/2023 18:55

He’s at best insensitive to your feelings and lacks understanding of how his actions have impacted you and at worst he is abusing you.

Spectre8 · 11/02/2023 18:55

To be honest I find it odd you both have to have your phones open so if you want to check em you can. Wtf. That isn't a healthy relationship of trust.

And after his previous transgressions why r u still with him. Bizarre

WeAreAllLionesses · 11/02/2023 18:54

It's like he's taunting you - you can see this much but no more...how very weird.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 11/02/2023 18:54

Couple of times I have checked it and first time I found out he had cheated on me, and second time I found his profile on sex site.

Didn't really need to read the rest.

rothbury · 11/02/2023 18:53

Why on earth did you stay with such a sleazy pig?

No need to go all Miss Marple, just dump him.

hourbyhour101 · 11/02/2023 18:53

You know it's his behaviour that's more troubling.

I don't know what he's up to but he's up to something. And unless you think he's about to propose - I would chuck this fish back in the water. There's something wrong with it

MadeForThis · 11/02/2023 18:49

He's a dick.

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